What do you do when your son wont listen?

Briana - posted on 02/21/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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what is there to do when you cant get away from your kids for even a second and you kid is just being mean and hatful to you and you cant seem to get them calmed down and they cant seem to learn right from wrong no matter how you dissaplin them?

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Anitta - posted on 03/08/2012

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get down to his level, look him in the eyes and explain firmly that mummy doesnt like...... if you do that again mummy will be very unhappy and he will go in time-out. you need to be consistent otherwise they just dont understand what behaviour is good and what is not, but dont forget to praise the good behaviour in the same way.

Julie - posted on 03/06/2012

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GET your child off of sugar OF ANY KIND ... even juice. Start him eating fruit - nothing added (food colors, etc.,)



Fillhim up on healthy REAL foods



AND



LOVE. Read to him ... play with him and then watch, he will want to be on his own and will be happy a thte SAME TIME!



HONEST



I was a single mother of 5 (widowed at age 27) and it always worked for me... Give them attention and love and eat with them at the dinner table with manners (they love to mimick us) and you will find more than enough 'alone' time... not just when they nap or are in bed at 7:30.



Erin - posted on 03/05/2012

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What I have learned with my son is to stay calm and be consistent. Discipline can be difficult. Every kid is different and responds differently to various forms of discipline. If my son is being rude when he is speaking to me I tell him that I do not respond to rude boys and will not acknowledge beyond that until he decides to be respectful. If he decides to become physical or destructive, I remove him from the environment. I do not use physical punishment, but I do not let him hurt me either. The biggest thing is patience and not losing my temper or self-control. I will admit that I have to handle things a bit differently than many parents because my son has Sensory Integration Disorder. I won't go too much into details, but he does not respond to many forms of discipline. Time-outs were never effective as a consequence, but we will separate ourselves from a group to calm down and regain control of ourselves. As far as getting your child to calm down, the biggest thing is to make sure you are calm first. It is okay to walk away for a minute and calm down, just make sure your kid is in a safe place first.

Pj - posted on 02/26/2012

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I agree with Kay. Boys Town offers a free class for parenting. The class is called "Common Sense Parenting". I have four kids ranging from 16 years old to 1 1/2 years old. The class is really beneficial because it takes you from Positive and negative consequences to time outs for the kids and parents. I have really benefited from the class.

Kay - posted on 02/21/2012

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Thankfully, my son is not that difficult, but occasionally I have a "mommy timeout" when I am stressed and overwhelmed--he sits on his bed, mommy takes a moment to relax, and then we figure out what we can do to make our day better.



Depending on the age of your child, here are some things that I have found helpful with my older son (5, although we started at 3) and stepdaughters (7 and 9):



-- Family rules: This really helps with my stepdaughters, who do not live with us full time. We have a poster of family rules, and the first night that they are here, we review them together. Nothing too complicated--respect yourself and others, use your inside voice, respect our home, respect each others' stuff, etc. I think there are five or six total. Even my five year old can quote them now.



-- Chore charts: I stole this from my mother. My younger sister has ADHD, and growing up, my parents made the decision to take her off medication, which was turning her into a zombie.So Mom created some behavioral things, including this chart, which had a list of things that needed to be done in the morning (like breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth) and things that needed to be done in the evening. These are poster sized and we use a clothespin to mark off what is done. At the end, we get a gumball from the gumball dispenser.



-- Stability: We lived with my parents for two years. At that point, it was more difficult to control my son, because there were so many people involved and so many different sets of rules and expectations. Now we have our own place, and it is much, much easier, because I can control the environment a good bit more. I strongly recommend examining the environment around your son and determining what might need to be adjusted for him.



If all else fails, I would talk to your doctor. There could be behavioral issues that can be addressed that way.



Good luck!

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