whats a good age to let you babys cry soothe them to sleep???

Megan - posted on 08/20/2010

I started letting my baby boy put himself to sleep at 4 months. He wasn't sleeping through the night yet and my doc said he'd doubled his birth weight so he didn't need that middle of the night feeding anymore. So i let him cry it out for 2 nights and the 3rd night he slept for 10 hours and has been ever since. He usually fell asleep drinkin the bottle before i put him in bed, but i also stopped rocking him to sleep for daytime naps and took his pacifier away at this time. He would only cry 10-15 mins before falling asleep. He is now 10 months old extremely happy, and LOVES his bed.

To everyone freaking out over this idea, its kinda like taking the training wheels off a bike, you both may be scared at first and there will be some crying but in the end you are both much happier :)

I wouldn't advise doing this any earlier than 4 months though, and if you feel more comfortable waiting til 6 months i'm sure that would be good too. And if ur really concerned about it bring it up at ur next doc appointment, mine always has great advice!

Hope everyones input helps!!!

Heidi - posted on 10/25/2009

Crying to sleep is not soothing to your baby. It is NOT good to let them cry themselves to sleep. As Dr. Sears says in "the baby book". Baby's always cry for a reason. To ignore them when they cry is teaching them that they can't rely on you to get them what they need. When you let them cry they eventually stop crying because they have GIVEN UP. There is always something them NEED! especially babies....even if all they need is LOVE...give it to them. They arent this age for long. They will eventually go to sleep on their own without your help and without crying. Don't rush it. You want bed time to be a happy time...it will cause problems later on if you let them cry it out and they will learn to despise bedtime. Instead, teach your baby that they can trust you to get them what they need and rely on you when they need you. Imagine being trapped in a room and you need something and yelling for help and no one ever comes....you loose hope. Nothing wrong with rocking baby to sleep or laying with them until they fall asleep. You and your baby will be at peace instead of both stressed.

Christina - posted on 10/23/2009

Quoting Krista:

Since when does crying=soothing? I must have missed that bulletin.

This is the best point ever.

Christina - posted on 10/23/2009

Quoting Laura:

my son is 6 months and i have looked into the ferber method but i feel like if i allow my son to cry himself to sleep-- even with sooths from me-- what is going through his little brain when i walk out of that room, crying is sadness and until i can explain to him that it is bed time and he understands me i will not let him cry himself to sleep. I put him into his crib asleep and have from day one and he has never awoke not knowing where he is. But he does not know where i am and i dont mind that, he needs me and i am here for him. I remember crying myself to sleep when i was 15 and my mom died of cancer, that was the most horrible times ever. there is such a deep longing to feel safe when you fall asleep and babies feel it even more then we do as adults. I dont think it is "whatever works for you is best" because it isnt about YOU its about your BABY. whatever is Best for your baby is best for you. listen to what your baby is trying to tell you and you will know how to help.

First, I am very sorry for your loss. Second, I completely agree with you. I can't imagine what goes through their heads when they are left alone to cry, I think it's horrible that mothers do this, it makes me sick. When your baby is crying, they're crying for a reason, as a mother, it's your job to figure out why.

Krista - posted on 10/23/2009

Since when does crying=soothing? I must have missed that bulletin.

Brianna - posted on 10/23/2009

You should wait at least 6 months because doctors say babies don't know how to manipulate you until then, so when they cry before 6 months it's because they need something. If you want to let your baby cry it out that's your decision and don't let anyone push their beliefs on you.

Laura - posted on 10/22/2009

I started letting my son cry himself to sleep when he was 2 months old. My mom said I was mean. But my son never liked being held for a long period of time, and if he was he would throw up because he got to warm. Didn't have a problem with bedtime with my daughter until she was 3 months and started to realize that when I laid her down that meant bedtime. So we started letting her cry herself to sleep when she was 4 months old. You have to base what you do on your child. Every child is different. You know your child better than anyone. Hope this helps.

Cassy - posted on 10/22/2009

i think its only good when they understand there goin to bed n whats going on, i personally could never do it because it would break my heart thinkin he's all alone crying n no1 is goin to him

Nicole - posted on 10/22/2009

Oh my favorite controversial topic. :) Almost all experts agree that you should wait till at LEAST six months. Babies aren't capable of self soothing till then. They're crying because they need something, be it a cuddle or some food ect. After that it's a personal decision. You know whats best for your baby. Just please make sure you just don't let your child just cry and cry. There are many methods to crying it out, do some research and find one that works for you. :)

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/19/2009

my son is 6 months and i have looked into the ferber method but i feel like if i allow my son to cry himself to sleep-- even with sooths from me-- what is going through his little brain when i walk out of that room, crying is sadness and until i can explain to him that it is bed time and he understands me i will not let him cry himself to sleep. I put him into his crib asleep and have from day one and he has never awoke not knowing where he is. But he does not know where i am and i dont mind that, he needs me and i am here for him. I remember crying myself to sleep when i was 15 and my mom died of cancer, that was the most horrible times ever. there is such a deep longing to feel safe when you fall asleep and babies feel it even more then we do as adults. I dont think it is "whatever works for you is best" because it isnt about YOU its about your BABY. whatever is Best for your baby is best for you. listen to what your baby is trying to tell you and you will know how to help.

Elise - posted on 10/19/2009

Our doctor told us at my sons 9 month checkup to let him cry himself to sleep. I agree with Ashley, also. About 10 minutes before I go into the room, but even then I was told to not pick him up. Leave your baby in their crib and try to soothe them by shushing and rubbing his back. Comfort you baby in his crib. Just remember do not put a sleeping child into a crib. They wake up and do not know where they are. Always make sure your baby is awake when you put him in his crib. Look up the Ferber Method. Worked wonders for us!

Ashley - posted on 10/18/2009

with my son i soothed him before bed and put him to sleep before laying him in his crib till he was about 8 or 9 months old and then if he woke up, i would only go soothe him if he cried for more than 5 or 10 minutes. After that i started trying to get him to put himself to sleep in his crib and at first i would get him close to sleep but put him down before he was fully asleep... slowly i put him down sooner and sooner and by the time he was about 10 1/2 months old he was in bed awake at 8 o clock and didnt cry at all, i gave him his teddy bear adn a sippy with water and he put himself to sleep. That said, it is very hard to let you rbaby cry, but with my son the first night i put him in his crib fully awake he cried for close to an hour off and on before he fell asleep, needless to say he wore himself out and didnt wake up till 11 the next morning. but that was the only night he cried like that, the next few nights he cried maybe for 5 or 10 minutes but knew after that that it was time for bed and he wasnt getting out of his crib so he might as well go to sleep. hope this helps, its what worked for me.

Cassie - posted on 10/18/2009

I personally do not allow my daughter so cry herself to sleep. That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with families who find that crying works best for them.



Most will agree that babies should not be allowed to CIO (cry it out) until at least 6 months of age. Before that, they are crying for a specific need that must be met and are unable to self-soothe. After 6 months of age, you can attempt a form of CIO if that is what you want to do. Just make sure not to do it before your little one is 6 months old. Many feel though that they really aren't able to self-soothe until around 9 months.