whats the worst thing a person has said to you about being a "Teen Mom"

Jadi - posted on 06/01/2011 ( 42 moms have responded )

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im doing a school project about being a teen mom, and i just wanted to know that type of stuff that other people have put you through just because youre a teenage mother, in my opinion its no different that being an adult mother its a matter of being mature and responsible and belive me i have sen 30 year old moms who dont do crap. anyways please leave a response:)

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Melissa - posted on 06/02/2011

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When I told my mom I was pregnant and she said "that is what happens to girls that sleep around" and told me I had to move out of her house. It's alright though because my daughter's dad and I have been together for six years now and I graduated with my Bachelor's degree with highest honors. :) I'm even starting graduate school in the fall. It was a lot of work but it feels great to prove everyone wrong!

User - posted on 06/02/2011

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my worst experience was in my english class we were doing teen isues. i new i was pregnant and a few people new but it hadnt got around yet. of course a teen issue is pregnancy so there was quite a few opinions thrown around the room. at least i new exactlly what theyd all think of me when they found out :(

Constance - posted on 06/03/2011

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The worse thing that was said to me was you a nothing but a whore and you will always be a whore and ill never amount to anything. Well My oldest is 15 I am married to the same man I had my children with and I have custody of my brothers 3 children for the second time and he is almost 7 years older than me.

I know I am not technically a teen mom anymore but I come around because so many people said or did bad things to me and I want to lend my support to other young women who need advice without judgement.

The funny thing about the main person who would say that to me was also a mom at 16. She always told her oldest how much she hated her and never wanted her. Her other two kids were angels in her eyes. My friend turned 18 and never looked back. It is so horriable to treat someone badly and not offer hlp and support.

Samantha - posted on 06/03/2011

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@ Sinead im a stay at home mom to and going back to school for teaching and writing, most people from where im from are supportive of teen moms and make sure we get the help we need but we still have alot of people who look at us bad, im not saying go out there and get pregnant young but parenting shouldnt be justified by age but rather our experience 30 year old moms still need help just the same as us.

Midwifing isnt common around here how does one do that?

Sinead - posted on 06/03/2011

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Ive had comments about being stupid and i hate 'you've ruined your life'. i havent ruined my life i have made it even better. also one of the health visitors i see said 'oh im shocked that she is doin so well' talkin about my daughter. when i asked if this because i was classed as a younger mum she stuttered a bit and replied no. could clearly tell it was. ive also had comments of neighbours how i afford to keep ava so well dressed, how did i afford ava's 'desinger pram'. i also dislike the assumption im a single mum, just because im younger then the 'ideal' age doesnt mean it was a one night stand. im engaged we have our own house and although i sit at home lookin after ava her dad is out workin to support us and give our daughter everything she needs. ive also been to a local nursery and offered some of ava's old toys and was asked if i could afford to give them away. they didnt get the toys i took them elsewhere.
although my family was supportive i was the youngest to have a child in my family at 18, my cousin then got pregnant at 16 and i was told that some was still disapointed in me because i was goin places in life. which made me mad how the had belittled my cousin.
im goin back to college in september and paying for the course and then will hopefully be startin uni next year to study midwifery. i want to specialise in younger mums, as some older midwives can be very judging and i would prefer supportin and bein there for them as i can relate to how there feeling.
hope this helps a bit x

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Kristin - posted on 07/15/2011

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My step mother told me that because of my "attitude" (Not pretending to like her) that "you're son is gonna grow up to be just as bitter as you! you can't grow the f*ck up and change your attitude you just hate everybody! he's never gonna know how to love or be loved because he has a b*tch like you for a mother" that went on for 3 pages in a text message!

Monique - posted on 07/14/2011

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All my family said that i was stuiped. but the funny thing is that now they want apart of my childrens lifes but i dont think they diserve it .

Tamsen - posted on 07/14/2011

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i had my son when i was 15. the worst things was when my now father in law told my husband/babys dad that he should get a paternity test,when people think my son is my brother,when people said havin a baby will ruin my life which btw it didnt,and my fellow classmates asking me if i was going to get an abortion, but when a popular girl got pregnant they were so nice to her and never said anything bad to her

Serenity - posted on 07/13/2011

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Same here i have always looked younger than i am. but my teacher was one of the JROTC instructors in my school.

Casey - posted on 07/13/2011

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After I had my son and went back to HS I had some of my teachers get harder on me. When I was pregnant I had a teacher tell me he would see me in his class next year. You only had to take his class once. I ended up takein another of his classes the next year and he was harder on me. I also get weird looks when Im out with the kids alone. Im 21 and have a 3 year old. But I also live with my boyfriend who has a 3 year old and a 6 year old. I dont look my age. People always think Im younger.

Serenity - posted on 07/12/2011

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You know I didn't really deal with much but when i was pregnant I was a senior in high school and one of my teachers actually had the nerve to tell me to give my baby up for adoption so I'd still have my "future". My son is almost 2 now and he is as smart as can be. But when I think back to my senior year I still can't believe that one of my teachers (one that I looked to like a father) actually said that to me. It still gets to me and I'd still tell him the same thing I did when he asked me then. I'm keeping my baby. After that I was never able to look at him the same again. After I had my son I took him to the school to see him and said proudly this is MY SON. I hope this helps. :)

Kelsea - posted on 07/12/2011

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When I first found out I was pregnant the father of my daughter told me that I couldn't even take care of myself and asked how I planned on taking care of a baby. That was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said. Of course I get the occasional comment being called a "whore", or a "slut". Living right in the middle of the bible belt, people around here don't really agree with having premarital sex, let alone having a child out of wedlock, but I've learned to shrug those off. They don't know me and don't have the right to judge.

Amanda - posted on 06/21/2011

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well.. a girl i use to know telling me that I was a horrible person for having children so young and i was going to destroy thier lifes and she was sure I was going to leave them with my mom all the time. (I don't) I could never afford them and that apprently 90% of teen moms ruin their kids lifes! and she knew this from experiance! uh-huh...

a nurse who snapped at me when i was trying to learn to breast feed my son because I was a teenager and im apprently not gonna want to breast feed because then i can't go out... everyone assumes you'll party

OH and one girl calling my a slut for haing two kids by 19! (along with countless other girls) she was 17 and her son was only 3 months old... she had a few good years to go before she should be calling me anything.

and the last one, my own mother telling me she was proud because she thought i would never be able to handle having my son and she would end up raising him.. thanks mom.

Constance - posted on 06/20/2011

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I have posted what negatve things people have said to me but her is how as teen moms and a little older can smile about.

I was 16 when my first was born. I have been fortunate to still be with her father. We now have 4 of our own. We were told we would never amount to anything and live on welfare. Now we are both successful he works for a great company and is attending school again working on his master's. Me I work from home, attend school fulltime for my master's, homeschool two of my children and I am raising 4 more children because I am the best person to do it. My husband and I are younger than both parents who we obtained custody from. I am not glad to see any parent lose custody because they have been deemed unfit, but it just proves that just because we are young doesn't mean we can't do it and do it right.

Miriah - posted on 06/20/2011

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Few things people have said have bothered me... one was from my grandma who told me while I was pregnant that I had to "think back on all those boys I'd been sleeping with" another came from a woman who told me how beautiful my daughter is and then said "Now I hope you know, this is a life long experience" I mostly laugh if they think she's my little sister... it's funny to see their faces when she gets hungry and I start nursing her.

Jessica - posted on 06/20/2011

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Do you know what I hate . Everytime things get really hard and I'm hurting my mom says " you wanted this or you would have kept your legs closed. " it breaks my heart.

Amber - posted on 06/12/2011

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I was 18 when I had my first son and every one would think I was either the babysitter or his sister, and would give shocked and dirty looks after I told them he was my son. I have 5 younger siblings and when I had my son my youngest brother was 6 so when I would go out with my family people would think my son was my mother's. After my son's father and I got married at 19 we had another son. My husband is Koren/Spanish, our eldest looks like me (I'm african/american) and my youngest son looks Korean like his dad. So when I would go out not only would I get dirty looks for being young with 2 kids A few people on different occasions would tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for having kids with 2 differnet father's. I mean the nerve of some people. My kids have the same father and I think it's none of their business anyways what I do. I'm a good mom to my boys and I love them to death and that's all that should matter.

Amber - posted on 06/12/2011

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I was 18 when I had my first son and every one would think I was either the babysitter or his sister, and would give shocked and dirty looks after I told them he was my son. I have 5 younger siblings and when I had my son my youngest brother was 6 so when I would go out with my family people would think my son was my mother's. After my son's father and I got married at 19 we had another son. My husband is Korean/Spanish, our eldest looks like me (I'm african/american) and my youngest son looks Korean like his dad. So when I would go out not only would I get dirty looks for being young with 2 kids A few people on different occasions would tell me that I should be ashamed of myself for having kids with 2 differnet father's. I mean the nerve of some people. My kids have the same father and I think it's none of their business anyways what I so. I'm a good mom to my boys and I love them to death and that's all that should matter.

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2011

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worst was getting asked when you getting the abortion from close family.....well my daughter is almost 10 my son is 6 i'm 27 married to the father buying a house own my vehicales and not on goverment help (for those who need it its not a put down i was on it when my husband had a stroke and taken off as soon as he went back to work 3 months later) so yeah i can positivitly say that its been hard but i would not change it

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2011

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worst was getting asked when you getting the abortion from close family.....well my daughter is almost 10 my son is 6 i'm 27 married to the father buying a house own my vehicales and not on goverment help (for those who need it its not a put down i was on it when my husband had a stroke and taken off as soon as he went back to work 3 months later) so yeah i can positivitly say that its been hard but i would not change it

Madeline - posted on 06/09/2011

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People can be really inconsiderate and rude. I had my son when I was 16 and he has survived young mums disease lol… He is almost 7 in October and I’m almost 24. As most people describe him he’s polite and has very good manners. I don’t understand why people can judge when clearly it’s none of their business how young I was or is he my son? I can’t recall how many times I had to correct people ‘saying he’s my son’ and not my brother or I’m not the baby sitter… It really is a hurtful and people can be really disrespectful. Mind you between the 7 years I have achieved so much, yeah maybe it would of taken me less time if I didn’t actually have a child, but I wouldn’t swap motherhood for anything else, it’s a ever lasting love that will never disappear and no matter how horrible our world may seem (or just a few horrible people in it) I know I come home to my boy who think’s I’m just incredible.

I have less than 9 moths to go with my degree to be an Interior Designer and have completed other studies prior to that… And here everyone thought I ruined my life, dreams and complete stuffed up my life (this excludes my family as even though how young I was at the time my parents still stuck up for me and supported me).

My partner I was with at the time (my sons father) his mother was completely rude and called me many names under the sun (some Christian she was), because “obviously she was more hurt the fact I was taking her youngest son away” lol… He was the first guy *** and now we were having a child together and so on… But most mother in-laws aren’t always pleased with other party, but not all the time. She also threatened to take my son off me, because I chose to leave her son.

But I have now been a single mum for approx. 5 years, and as hard and difficult it may be sometimes, I personally couldn’t compare myself to a much older woman with children my son’s age but I think I’ve done a wonderful job and now as time goes by I’m being praised that I’m doing a wonderful job, it only took a few years for random (s) to come up and appreciating my job as a parent and not judging me of my age/appearance or the fact I’m a young mum.

I am happy to say that I’ve always known I was doing a wonderful job raising my 6 1/2 old son, I’m 23, I have achieved so much even being a single parent, I have a soon to be degree, bachelor by next year. My boy is healthy, uses his manners every time, he is considerate to others and does allot for himself. I wouldn’t trade parent hood for anything; nor did having a child young stop my dreams and inspirations, it just made me stronger and more determined.

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ok...so there is a helpful button, a nice button, a funny and an encouraging button....Where is the OMG button!! Some of u girls have been through alot!! The worst that was said to me was 'well that f*cks everything up doesn't it!' (my aunty - I was 19). It was pretty hurtful. now I'm almost finished with my double degree and my diploma (I'm 22). HA! Take that =)

Melissa - posted on 06/08/2011

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The worst thing that was said to me was from my babys dads mom. She told me on my babys frist birthday she was going to take her away from me for 1 year because i was not a good mom because i could not put her into sports. And would not give her back i had to call the cops and make them come out to get her back. it made me so mad like who dose that on a babys birthday. and she just trund one what kinda sports could she even go into ? and then the next day she called me and told me she wanted me to leave her son and never come back and if i left for 2 months and didnt call her son or any thing she would give me $5000. She says im a bad mom but look at what she is doing i'm 20 years old and would never do that to my kids

Lauren - posted on 06/07/2011

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I had my son 2 months before i graduated high school. When one girl I used to go to school with heard i graduated she said I can't believe you actually graduated and I didn't..another girl told me I couldn't go to the prom because I was pregnant. Even if I had wanted to go, I wouldn't because of that...I wish I went. I finished high school and have an awesome career and apartment and most of all the best kid ever.

Kelly - posted on 06/06/2011

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I had my son at 20 fell pregs at 19, I had quite a few ppl tell me I'm ruining my life by having a child at that age, I had dropped outta yr 11 two yrs before, and ppl use to say coz I didn't finish school I won't be good enuf to raise a kid, well I'm now 22, I did break up with callums dad, he sees him once a fortnight, and I personally dnt think callum has had it hard just coz I had him young, his my number one, and his not without. Anything, I also had callums dad side pressure me with breast feeding, I was raw, bleeding and just couldn't do it they all said I failed as a new mum, a yr on and I can proudy say no matter wat other ppl say u do wats right for u and ur child, dw about the cruel things ppl say :)

Angel - posted on 06/04/2011

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I never had someone tell me something bad about being a 19 yr old mother. Our son was actually planned, I have been with my husband for almost 5 years now. I finished highschool before I got pregnant and was already living with my man. I am 21 now, my husband is 28 and our son is 19 months old.

Vicki - posted on 06/04/2011

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Can't really say I've had bad experiences about being a teen mum. I'm 21 now but got pregnant at 18 and had my 1st baby a few weeks before I turned 19.

There was 1 thing though and that was my cousin telling my mum I'd confided in her that I wanted an abortion with my then unborn daughter but was too scared of telling my partner!!!

My mum asked me out of concern and I nearly choked! Never ever did I say I wanted an abortion, I was chuffed to be expecting and my mum knew it but felt it was only right to ask.

My cousin is about 5 years older than me and had two children at the time but was separated from their dad as he apparently hit her etc. Let's just say she will not be winning any mother of the year awards any time soon, seeing as she refers to her 5 year old daughter as a slag!!!

The only reason I can think of her making this up is because she was jealous of me becoming a mummy (she apparently slagged me off none stop throughout my pregnancy behind my back as she was jealous) and wanted to make me feel as bad as possible.

The moral of my post here is, yes I am a teen mum (well was lol) but I give my daughter everything and I'm still with her daddy in our own home, which is clean and tidy (very unlike my cousins) and we are expecting our 2nd baby in September 2011 :) So it doesn't matter what age you become a mum, it depends on the person to be a mum that their child/children deserves! xxx

Constance - posted on 06/04/2011

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It is true when somebody opens their mouth it always comes back to haunt them. Karma is a bitch.
When I found out I was pregnant I told one of my cousins. Her response was " I am 21 and never even had a scareof being pregnant."
She delivered her daughter exactly 2 weeks after me, She felt stupid.

Kimberly - posted on 06/04/2011

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the worst thing anyone said to me about me getting pregnant young (at age 18] was from my mom. although i already graduated & completed 1 full semester in college my mother told me i was going to become a nothing because i got pregnant. and she called me a slut. but i finished my 2 nd semseter ; and my 3rd semester & had my baby a week before finals. i still made it to every final and passed them all. i did take a smester off but im going back again fully at the end of august

Samantha - posted on 06/04/2011

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April your right ive seen alot of girls make fun of the pregnant chick then go get pregnant themselves, sometimes on purpose.

April - posted on 06/03/2011

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I got pregnant with my first when i was nineteen, i'm twenty two now. The worst that was said to me was that i ruined my life. Silly person, the funny thing is a few months later she got pregnant too.

My kids are the two most precious things in my life other then my husband. I didn't care what people thought of me back then and i still don't now.

Some people should try walking in someone else's shoes before they judge what happens in someone else's life. Karma may just come back and bite you in the butt. XD

Karen - posted on 06/03/2011

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I am also an older teen mom (26) but I know many teen moms who get critisized. It's sad how this world is ignorant to the idea that teens can take care of their kids. My best friend was 16 when she had her 1st. She moved out, they got their own place, got married and both are doing well. They are on their 4th child and are only 24 and 25yrs. old. I've seen some older moms who need parenting classes bad. You girls are all doing great. Keep up the good work!

Samantha - posted on 06/03/2011

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i live in a small town in wisconsin so most of the elderly here are nice because they where moms young. But since where also a christian community you get alot of religious people who look at you like your child is satans spawn. We have universities but you have to go to bigger cities.

Sinead - posted on 06/03/2011

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were i live its full of teenage mums and its known for it aswell. but still find the odd person who tries puttin you down. alot of my friends who have had children are gettin there college course paid for but because i have alevels im classed as 'over educated' so dont get any help. but there not good enough grades for me to get to go straight into midwifery. so doing another set of alevels and then applying for university next year to do midwifery.
where are you from? you definately have to go to university to do it and dependin on the uni you need really high grades, (why i need to go back to college and resit). or you can do a general nursing course at university and then whilst workin train to be a midwife. hope that helps x

Michelle - posted on 06/03/2011

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I was a good kid did my school work, finished high school, Did everything around the house looked after my sister, didnt party or anything like that seriously good. (had my daughter at 18) and as soon as I fell pregnant everyone assumed I was (for lack of a better word or phrase) slut and rebel and just a horrible teen. My cousins have called me a slut (mind you I have only ever had sex with 2 ppl the last of which is my childs father and we have been together a few years now) and my aunty said to my face that I was a bad child

Samantha - posted on 06/02/2011

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the worst thing that i heard was when i was told i would never accomplish anything. That and when the father of my son said it wasnt his.

Jadi - posted on 06/02/2011

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Same here, once i was in class and had finished my class work , but my teacher thought i was slacking off and told me to do my work and "START acting like a mom" i cried but it mostly got me so mad ebcause i try so hard to proove people worng because im a damn good mom.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2011

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my worst experiance actually came from a teacher her exact words were "ALL young moms are bad moms." it made me cry

Sabra - posted on 06/01/2011

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I haven't really had anything bad said to my face but man if looks could kill. I was a little bit older (18 when I got pregnant 19 when I had my daughter) I had finished high school and had been with my boyfriend and the father for 2 years but people just assume that because you are young you are irresponsible (it doesn't help that I look 14) I get dirty looks everywhere i go.

Christina - posted on 06/01/2011

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I think the worst thing that was said to me was that I was going to ruin my son's life because I was a single teenage mom.
Now that I'm older (I'm 28 with five kids, ages 10-4yrs old), everyone still assumes my son is my younger brother. I don't look my age, and my son has some friends who won't believe him that I'm his mom.

Rachel - posted on 06/01/2011

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i have twin boys and another due in 12 days and ill still only be 20. what i get everyday is "oh, you're busy" or "you must have your hands full". it drives me nuts because any mother would with twins and a third child. but they look at me like i cant handle it because im young. or some other stuff i get is when i go drop in centres and such and all the other mothers ignore me and talk about their husbands and household issues like i dont have them. i am happily married and we live in our own apartment, i deal with all the same issues they do. i hope this helps you with your project.....

Amelia - posted on 06/01/2011

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I think the "worst" thing that happens is when I get asked how old my "little brother" or anything refering to my son as my "little brother" is one of my biggest pet peeves. I was 17 when I had my son and I am now 20 with him being 3 and another on the way. I think the other one was I was in a coffee shop talking with my best friend about it and someone actually came up and asked if I was going to abort it even though I was talking about how excited I was and names and that. Many people just refuse to accept young people are having kids now. Do I wish it on anyone? No because it make life a lot harder than it has to be but I also look back now and look at what I have accomplished and have a better sense of pride because of it. I've learned to just live my life and not hold onto to anyone who makes me feel bad about the choices I've made. I made them, and I have to live with them.

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