why do people think that young moms are bad moms

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Brittany - posted on 10/22/2009

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I believe it depends on how a person is brought up, and most people are brought up to believe that having a child at a young age is something to be looked down on in society. I think it also includes the group of young moms who don't take of their children the way they should, but what people don't understand is that there are older moms who do that as well. People don't realize that some of us are super good moms, but that's okay because the only opinion we need is our littles ones' :)

Kayla - posted on 10/22/2009

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because people are narrow-minded and arrogant. They think every teen mom is a slut that got knocked up by some random guy and we're all going to end up on Maury or Jerry Springer. They don't realize that we're moms like every other mom, and we do the best, if not better, than most moms. They still judge us because we're young and "don't know what we're doing". That's the same with every mom, no matter what your age! Yet when you see a married woman who's letting her kids run around and be crazy does nothing, nobody says anything about her, because she's older and married.

Kelli - posted on 10/22/2009

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idk but i was 15 when i got pregnant an everyone at my school told me that i should give her up but i didnt want to im 21 now an im a grad from high school and college dont let that bother u

Kaylene - posted on 10/22/2009

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I had my first child at 16 and my 2nd at 18 and believe me when i say being a young mum is hard and u will make mistakes but be honest with them tell them u are young and don't have all the answers n they will respect u 4 that trust me i am now 30 my kids are 13 and 11 and are wonderfull kids n they didn't have a mum that was/is perfect but as i am honest with them they are honest with me due to honesty me n my 13yr old daughter r best m8's hard to believe but true n my 11yr old son won't lie 2 me as i don't lie 2 him honesty is BEST

Esperanza - posted on 10/21/2009

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because most TEENAGE MOTHERS are bad moms so they give all teenage moms a bad name like on tv all u see is the BAD teen moms why dont we never see the good ones NOT all teen mothers are like that

AM 16 YRS OLD WITH A 4MONTH OLD SON yea i have help but am a damn good mother to my son he has everything he needs in this world and more.

Brooke - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting Alexis:

Yes i would like to know that.Im 18, had my son at 17.And im a very good mother.No complaints for him doctors or anything.And i damn sure is better than my no good ass baby daddy.The real question is how come Young Mothers are to blame when it should me Young Immature Fathers to blame!!!!!



no one should be to blame!! not all mothers OR fathers are immature, irresponsible etc.. Obviously you came out this unlucky, you have your child that is what matters!! and it is funny to see you call your childs father immature when you have a photo of yourself sticking your finger up HAHAHA.. who is immature??

Alexis - posted on 10/20/2009

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Yes i would like to know that.Im 18, had my son at 17.And im a very good mother.No complaints for him doctors or anything.And i damn sure is better than my no good ass baby daddy.The real question is how come Young Mothers are to blame when it should me Young Immature Fathers to blame!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 10/20/2009

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honestly speaking from a young mothers perspective, alot of us are great moms. i do know a few who were older then me when they had their first that made me look bad. i was only 16 when i had my oldest and ppl looked down on me. they thought for sure that i was gonna mess up and that my child would deserve better. but she has a great life. ppl just dont want to give us the credit that we deserve. they think that wisdom and great parenting comes with age and im sorry they are wrong. we are just as good as thy are and what we dnt know we can ask them

Britney - posted on 10/20/2009

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alot of these comments are correct. there are young moms out there that aren't willing to take on the responsibility that they created. therefore the people see all the negatives in that parent. People also seem to think that age defines how good you are at something,and i'm pretty sure there are plenty of things that teens can do,just as well as adults,and i'll prove this when my son is born in december(:

Deborah - posted on 10/20/2009

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thats exactly it you said it all about th older people havin kids i could not bare to put my lil baby into a nursery so i could go back to work us young mothers have more patience compare to th older they may say we have had so many kids we no more it doesn matter wat you know its how you go about it and how you spend your time bonding wit your child because when they get older they will be able to tell you everythin because they feel so close to you but wit th older parents as they get older they do not really care anymore but as we are young we know wat we want from our child and we will get it quicker dan an older person would because older people are very moaney about everythin but us young mothers wer layed back we listen and we sort it out insted of jumpin th gun because at this stage we still know how it is bein a teenager..

Toni - posted on 10/20/2009

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i think what everyone has said is to true, i was 16 when i got pregnant and it was the best thing i ever did it sculpted me as a person and nothing or noone comes before my son, he doesnt want for nothing and at 18 now i have alot more than many adults can say they have, at 18 i have a 4bed house house with all the luxurys flat screen tvs the lot, my son has more toys and clothes that can be wished for but with that said that dont neceserily make u a good parent. its the time and energy you put into the life that makes u a good parent, ive never understood why soceity has such a issue with young people having kids because isnt it better that someone who can spend all day everyday with there child be better than a a 30yr old who has a career and within weeks of having a baby put them in nursery and miss out on the bonding and the most important years of the childs life. i think having a child young is a better way to go about it, because your career can start once the child goes to school and the you dont miss out on all the important bits. i couldnt bare a nursery nurse telling me about what my son has learnt today shouldnt i be the 1 tellin everybody else what he has learnt. and just so u no dont feel bad if u go out once u have had the baby, i do all the time, u have to have that break, it makes u appreciate them more and not feel resentful that u have no life. i put my son to bed an have a couple of hours to myself a week, and am always there when he wakes up. no harm done. enjoy the time u have while hes still a baby and dont worry so much what people think as long as u no ur doing ur best.

Deborah - posted on 10/20/2009

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they just think we are bad parents because we are young wit no clue of wat we are doing but its actually that they have not got a clue of wat we are like wit children fair enough there may be some mothers out there that don care but that does not mean that every young mother has to be talked about each time she walks down th street and maybe goin out at th weekend is a nice few hours break for some not that they just want to go out and get trashed but we are young and even doh we have kids does not mean that we can not enjoy life a little bit it does not all have to end there life does go on at th end of th day..

Bridget - posted on 10/19/2009

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I had my baby girl just before i turned 19 and her father well he just turned 23 on the same day she came in to this world and took her first breath of air. People tend to think we r bad moms because we dont have an education or good heads on our shoulders but little do they know that not every teen mom is bad...How i see it some teen moms are the best because they thought about having sex and a baby before they did..some make sure that hey are ready i was one and i didnt have the best of childhood so i am going to be giving my litte girl the life i never had and all my kids to come in the future after i get my college drgree in policng and have my career started me and my fiance have already decided that we now want to get our careers started b4 we think about having another child but we do plan on having one...and its totally because of the irresponaible teen moms that everyone looks at us and back talks us..WE R NOT BAD so stop saying that all teen moms are bad..some actually have a future and know what they want in life and i totally hate it when people call the baby's bastard child because the parents aren't married,,WHO CARES as long as the parents ove each other thats all that matters

Brooke - posted on 10/19/2009

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I forgot to add that I was not critisizing young mums!! I can hardly do that as I am 19 myself..

I was simply giving an explanation to why we are thought of as bad mothers.

If you really think about it what are the chances of a young woman straight out of school or possibly still in school staying with her boyfriend?? what are the chances of them being able to earn a good enough living to support a child for the next 18+ years??

Personally I beat those odds so far.. my partner and I plan to marry but no engagement has been set.. we are paying off our own home and car as I said before.

Many teenagers are still living with there parents.. and that is where I think is the problem. If you can not take care of a child then you shouuld not be having sex no matter what age!! it is something you should share between another person as love of each other (NOT JUST FUN!!!)

all that matters is you think your a good mum. stuff everyone else

Cherie - posted on 10/19/2009

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I think part of it has to do with young moms being less likely to have a career, a home, and financial security. Most of us are still figuring out who we are and what we want to do, who we want to be. Many of us don't comprehend the magnitude of the responsibilities that come with becoming a parent, the realities of motherhood/fatherhood. We're still developing everything about ourselves. We're in a transitory stage in our lives. Statistically the chances of young couples staying together for the rest of their lives aren't all that good. On top of that, quite a few young moms seem to leave their children with their parents, almost as though the child were a sibling rather than a son/daughter, in order to go out with friends, drink, party, etc.



I think that people in general are more inclined to see the bad than the good. I think that people's negative comments, judgments, and predictions have a real effect on what happens (ie, if a 16 year old girl is told often enough that she's stupid, her life is over, she can't possibly raise a child and go to college, etc, she's more likely to believe those things, which then become self fulfilling prophecies)



In reality, I think that the mom's maturity level is a much more important factor than her chronological age. I think that there are just as many older moms who leave their kids to babysitters and go out and party, neglecting their responsibilities as parents, as there are young moms who do the same thing. I think that young moms can be wonderful, loving, supportive, successful moms, and I think that older moms can be neglectful, ambivalent, ignorant, disinterested, and unsuccessful parents as well.



I think that people exert far more energy criticizing and pointing out the young moms who weren't ready and aren't handling things well, than they do praising and commending the job that other young moms are doing. (probably because they don't want to encourage girls to have kids young) I think if young girls who become pregnant were supported emotionally, told that they CAN do it, that if they work hard enough they can do anything they put their minds to, (rather than being degraded and demeaned) then there would be more successful young moms in the world.



I also think that it's a really great feeling to make the people who said you couldn't do it eat their words.



Just my thoughts though :)



(PS I'm a young mom myself - I was 18, a month shy of my 19th birthday when I found out I was pregnant - and have been told countless times by quite a few people that I'm doing a fantastic job. I'm in college, working on my degree, and my fiance and I are proud parents to a healthy, beautiful, and intelligent 2 year old :)

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

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I used to babysit a little boy whose mother walked out on him and hasn't had contact with him in 3 years she had two little girls after the boy and lost custody of those kids too mothers like that give us a bad name because for every bad mother theres like 10 good ones but when people talk they don't mention the good ones plus the media is flooded with bad parents look at talk shows lots of bad mothers on them

Amanda - posted on 10/19/2009

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few ruin it for the many...



im 19 and i have two kids. i don't drink, i quit smoking as soon as i got pregnant with my first, I'm a single mom but im finishing up school and working on getting into collage. i think since my son was born i've gone out by myself maybe.. 10 times? and most of those were errands that maybe took 1-2 hours at the most.



however.. i've known girls who are the ones who ruin everyones reputation as a young parent... one who left her son with her mother (who lost her to CPS) and took off for two days with no contact, no calls, not even an explanation.. personally i would never be able to do that... however it's girls like her that make the rest of us look bad.

Kayla - posted on 10/19/2009

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I agree with Sheridan..There are really good moms out there but the few bad ones that could care less about their baby which I don't understand because how could someone not love something so innocent and adorable?

Marie - posted on 10/19/2009

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I was 19 when I had my daughter, but also married, and I grew up, like alot of you, to take care of my responsibility. But your typical 19 yr old is out partying it up and unfortunately some people get pregnant and having a baby doesnt change that. But there are plenty of older women who are no better. You dont have to be young to want to party all the time AND you dont have to be older to be a good mom.

Elise - posted on 10/18/2009

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Honestly, I can understand the stereotype. I am 21 and many of the mother friends that I do have that are my age pretty much leave their kids up to their own parents. I have one night a month that I have a girls night out and honestly I am normally home by 10 or 11 and have possibly one drink! Many of my other friends just go out as they please and drink and be stupid. I am a great mom! My son is my world and I have never been told I am not a good mom. He is always with me or my husband and he goes where we go! Don't let it bother you. All that matters is that YOU know you are a good mom and that you ARE a good mom! :)

Kim - posted on 10/18/2009

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ITS NOT THE YOUNG MUMS THAT R BAD.ITS THE ONES THAT R JUDGING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP UR THOUGHTS TO URSELF!

Kim - posted on 10/18/2009

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thats a load of bullshit yeai theres some bad moms but doest mean cos we young we r the bad moms .u get alot of older ppl that dump there kids.it dont matter how old u r.i had my son at 17 im 19 now,n ive done the best i can on mi own.i gave up drinking everthing im raising mi own kid.so dont put us young mums down when older ppl r just as bad.

Brooke - posted on 10/18/2009

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because there are those few young mothers who continue to live there childhood and not mature for there infant. It is those mothers who do not realise that they have a huge responibility! They dont get to pick or choose when they are a mother or not... they should have thought about that before they had sex!

Raising a child takes a whole lot more then love! That child needs a stable home, food on the table, money!! it is these things that people do not think about before they jump in the sack..

Before my partner and I even thought about trying for a baby we made sure we had a stable home and he would have a job.

Now we have a 9 month old daughter, we are paying off our own home, we own one car and are paying off another. My partner is in the same job.

When it comes down to it there is a smaller chance that a young mother straight out of high school will be in a long term relationship with a good enough paying job to support a child.

There are us few who do well for our family. Thats just it we know we do well so what does anyone elses comments matter??

Helen - posted on 10/18/2009

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im a young mum. i had my 1st child at 20 and my 2nd at 21. i dont think young mums are bad mums. my partners mum and dad have both said to me that they wish i was their mum! imy kids go to my mum on saturdays so i can work but its her choice because she loves them. on the weekends that shes busy and hasnt had the kids she really misses them. on the rare occasion i ask her to babysit, but its maybe twice a year if that! i think a persons ability to bring up a child depends on their mental age, not their actual age!

Caitelyn - posted on 10/17/2009

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Jessica,



Your child will only be taken from you if you are deemed "unfit" - that is, someone reports you for abuse, neglect etc.



I know exactly how you feel - my ex's family were so against me having him that for the first 4 months of his life I was in a constant state of fear that they would take him.

Belinda - posted on 10/17/2009

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i am going on 19 with a 1 yr old daughter. she is everthing to me and i would never put myself before her. but I do have some friends of my age who are also mums and i cannot stand watching how they deal with their children. it disgusts me. i dont think age matters when it comes to being a mum. it depends on your life experiences and where u as an individual are in life. for us young mums dedicated to providing for our children we have to keep our heads up and remember we dont need to prove anything to anyone. we no what we have given up and what we have done for our kids and if we know then thats all we really need. at the end of the day some one can turn around to me and bag me for being a young mum but when my little girl runs into my arms i no i have done well.

Kerri - posted on 10/17/2009

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because parenting is tough and society doesn't think that young women and men can handle that responsibility. I myself think thats a load of crap and that any woman or man can be a great parent no matter what their age. Its the individual who decides whether they want to be a good mum or a bad one not the rest of the world. So it sounds like you want to be a good mum and so you will be don't worry what everyone else thinks. Love that baby and they will love you in return. Also remember that its not always the young ones who neglect their children or are drug addicts or abusive. Good luck everything will be fine. :)

Jessica - posted on 10/17/2009

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because all people ever hear about are the teen mothers that are drug addicts that leave their babys in the toilet after they are born and so on in the news. They never show the good stories of the teen mothers who actually love their parenting job and that cherrish their children. The ones who actually do deserve recognition.

Jessica - posted on 10/17/2009

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i know its makeing me worry that when i have my baby someones going to try and take he i kills me inside

[deleted account]

Sharidan Is Right, But Not Every Mum Does That, Im A Full Time Mum To My Little Girl Now. I Was In College But She Was In Childcare Then. But Other Than That Since Shes Born I Have Been Out Twice, & Shes 11 Months Of Age.

My Daughters My World, People Just Assume We're Bad Through Press & Media .. But We Can Prove Them Wrong.

Sheridan - posted on 10/17/2009

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Because the few irresponsible young mums ruin it for the good ones. People have seen some young mums being Monday to Friday mums and then dumping the kids at the grandparents for the weekend to go off getting drunk etc. So now it's become a generalisation that we all do it.

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