Why have a child if you just want to party?

Sophie - posted on 07/23/2010 ( 97 moms have responded )

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Hi im 17 and i have a 10 month old little boy, i know quite a lot of young mums my age and every weekend they leave their child with a baby sitter and go out clubbing! i understand that every mum needs a break now and again and needs to let their hair down but these mums i know are ridiculous! If their babysitter lets them down they go off in a strop because they can't go out, i just don't understand why anyone would have a baby if they still want to go partying every weekend. I stay in every weekend with my little boy and i dont complain once! i love tucking him bed at night. I could go out if i wanted to as my boyfriend (jaydens dad) says he doesnt mind staying in with Jayden but i would feel bad leaving my baby every weekend to go and get drunk! anyone agree? i want to know your opinions xx

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Amanda - posted on 12/18/2010

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I agree with you completley. But that's how majority of those teen moms are. I was 17 when I had my son and his father was always trying to get us to drop our son off at his mothers and go out. I always said no, you can go out if you want but I'm staying home with my son. I have quite a few friends who always are going out every weekend, getting sitters, leaving their children with just about everyone because they want to go out...it's ridiculous! I've honestly watched a handful of my friends kids, just so that I knew they were taken care. It's getting pretty pythedic when you NEED to go out all the time. I can understand special occasions, or family gatherings or maybe once a month just for some alone time with your other half...but constantly wanting to pawn off your kid just to be able to go get drunk is pretty bad parenting...I mean if you didn't want the responsibilty of a child, than maybe you should of given that to someone else who has already had their share...

Melissa - posted on 12/18/2010

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i'm 24 so i'm not sure if i'm considered a "young" mom, but i just had to say it's so awesome to see someone young actually taking responsibility for their child. i know a lot of moms, too, who go out every weekend, leave their kids at home, get upset if they can't go out, it's just ridiculous! once you have a child, that's it, that's you're life! that's not saying parents can't go out and enjoy themselves from time to time, but their children need to come first. my son just turned a year old and i've gone out of a total of 4 times, and every time i make sure he's fed, changed, in bed and sleeping before i go anywhere. i don't leave him with anyone but his father (my boyfriend), my mother or his god mother/aunt. i don't hire sitters, and i'd never leave him with anyone i don't know. i can't tell you how happy i was to read your post because so many times i get so upset at how little parents seem to care these days. your post definitely gave me a lot of hope for all of the parents out there :0)

Holly - posted on 12/18/2010

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i personally feel the same i have a 1 month old named Noah
and i adore carin for him.. ive gone out with my girl... once... and i missed my son so much i came back after being out for an hr. sure i miss partying but i chose to have this baby now im going to be the best responsible mom i can be at 19 :)

Toni - posted on 12/17/2010

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I have a little routine that I have. Every day, i get my boy up in the morning, make him breakfast and myself a coffee. I let my fiance sleep in as much as possible as he works night shift. I go about my day as usual, entertaining my boy, cleaning, ect. untill my fiance wakes up. Then I make him a tea, and I go for a walk by myself.
That is my alone time. About 15 minutes a day, I walk. This gives me exersize, and the alone time I need to stay sane, lol.
I did not have a child to just leave with a baby sitter every weekend for hours at a time. I dont think that is right, but every parent does need some time to them selves.

Nikkole - posted on 12/17/2010

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Me and my husband go out every Saturday or every other Saturday just depends! But we go out to eat or out to eat with friends or bowling i think the last time i went to a club was 6months ago and that was for my friends birthday! I HATE going to clubs i dont like getting hit on by drunk stupid guys! I am 22 and have 2 kids my son's name is Jayden too ;) and he is 3 and my daughters name is Bella and she is 5months they stay with my mom because she asks me to bring them over i dont ask her! And when we go out on Saturdays we go to my mother in laws house and help her fix things around the house so its not like were out partying! I agree i think once your a mom you have responsibilities to your child or children you shouldn't go out and party EVERY weekend that is horrible! But going out every once in a while i think is fine! I mean heck you can have fun without leaving your house you can invite friends over and drink casually not get hammered and play games or watch a movie thats what we do a lot of the times and everyone that comes over loves my kids! But like i said earlier i dont like the club scene its just a bunch of drunk people looking to hook up or just act like idiots sorry if you go to clubs but thats what i see when i go and i would rather stay home with my babies and do crafts or cook with them or watch movies PLUS that saves money :)

Christina - posted on 12/17/2010

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I had to say something on this post..I am a 29 year old single mother and I take excellent care of my 14 month old son. I give kudos to those of you that do spend a lot of time with your kids and I respect the choices you all make. However, some of you are making it seem like going out, clubbing, partying 1-2 times a month is abandoning your child and it is not. If I go and want to do something I ask my son's grandmother since I do live with her and usually she says it is ok. I do not make a habit out of it, But it is ok to go out 1-2 times a month and let your hair down, you are a mother that is true! But there is nothing wrong with taking time out for you and your besties..Yes I do drink when I go with my girls but it is only again 1-2 times a month...I will probably be crucified for this, but I Love my son dearly and with all my heart!! That baby boy is my life, but there are times when I need to have a girls nite out once in a blue moon however, to take a break but I will clearly state again I am a Damn good mother!

Brooke - posted on 10/26/2010

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young ladies who do this are too young to be parents. Thats what it comes down to. And the older ladies who this are immature. But when it comes down to it, its not our life, they are not our children and its not our responsibility to worry about it. It sounds harsh but its true. As long as you, myself and who ever else know we are doing what is right by our child/children then thats all that matters.

Melanie - posted on 10/25/2010

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I completely agree with you all. I do agree that every now and then you need some YOU time but i do not however agree with going out, partying and getting drunk. I would rather be at home with my kids then be out getting wasted. I think if you have a baby then you need to own up to your responsibilities. A mother's first prioity should be their child not partying, alcohol or clothing. I changed my whole life around when i had my son 5 yrs ago and i now have 2 kids 5 and 3. I am also due Jan 6th with b/g twins. I do not talk to any of my friends anymore but frankly my kids means more to me then having friends, partying and drinking

Stephanie - posted on 10/25/2010

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and its ussualy these mothers that spend all their money on smokes and alcohol or clothing to wear when they are partying that then complain they got no money and cant afford healthy food and decent clothing for their children

Stephanie - posted on 10/25/2010

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i think its these mothers who just want the novelty of saying that they have a child i love staying at home with my son i have only been away from him for 1 whole night once in his life if i do go out its most likely for a friends birthday and when i do i make sure my boy is tucked in bed fast asleep all his bottles are sterilized and ready for the next day all his toys are packed up and the house is clean then i come home and wake up to him at 7 in the morning and carry on with our normal day so it has no affect on him theres a difference between having a break for a bit of 'you' time and leaving your child with anybody just to go out its people like this that give young mothers a bad reputation

Carmina - posted on 10/25/2010

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i couldnt agree with you more! im a few weeks off from 20, my son just turned 1 last week, i dont go out i think ive been out maybe 5 times since he was born! if that! if i feel like letting my hair down ill drink at home with my partner and mates, i dont see the need to go out each time. i do have a drink every week without fail but i feel way too bad to leave my bubby with another person, even if its family! i just love him too much :)

Kelsey - posted on 07/28/2010

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i agree its wrong to go out every weekend but its nice to go out and have some fun i go out alot with my friends still*i turn 18 in 2 months* and iv got a 14month old daughter but i dont get drunk and half the time i go out my little one comes with me cuz most days we just walk around town and go to the moives but once a month i go out and drink with friends usually for a birthday or something like that. but i think moms need to be more responable and actually take care of their children

Miranda - posted on 07/28/2010

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I am now 20 with a 2 year-old-little girl. I had her the end of my senior year, just before my 18th birthday.

Before I became pregnant, I was going out partying all the time doing things I shouldnt have. When my daughter was born, everything changed. I tried to go to a graduation party when she was a few weeks old and I wasn't gone an hour before missing her and feeling guilty. She turned two in May and has been away from me overnight once, I was there before she woke up in the morning, and I've gone to dinner or a movie with the boyfriend maybe 4 times.

OWN UP, If you're old enoughto do the do, you're old enough to care for your children.Itisn'tyour parent's responsibility!!

AnneMarie - posted on 07/28/2010

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i'm nineteen and i had a baby in may. totally unexpected. i think for some people it's really hard to transition from "teenagedom" to "motherhood". and yeah, i have gotten drunk ONCE and only once. But I made sure to plan ahead. I pumped before, and didn't feed her breastmilk for twelve hours afterwards. She stayed with her dad and did fine. (:
i don't, however, agree with going out all the time. And my idea of going out is to a friends house to chill or the movies.. and usually i take the baby with me everywhere anyway. i don't party. lol

ALYSSA - posted on 07/27/2010

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I don't understand either when I had my daughter at 19 I was going to school full-time and looking for a job. The only time I have to myself outside of homework, classes, job searching, and playing with my daughter is the 10 to 15 minutes in the shower. And even then sometimes I bring my daughter in just to get it done. I feel horrible if I leave her with someone outside of my class time just because I know she is my responsibility and sometimes I think she is a burden to others (Just my thinking because half of them tell me to come back later for her...LOL). When I do go out with friends, Jema is sitting in a highchair or booster seat next to us. And it has to be a place with something that has smash-able foods because she still does not have teeth. Although, I wish that I had the time to myself sometimes, I would still have some of my sanity :)

Leanne - posted on 07/27/2010

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My boyfriend and I bairely ever go out.. and don't complain. Of course we get my grandmother to take our boy for an over-night trip once a month (more if my granny really wants him and bugs me :P) and take turns staying home with him so we can see friends.. but we don't go out every week or even every other week and get trashed and do things like that.
We have a child who looks up to us for guidance, and what kind of example would you set if you went and did those things? Not a good one, that's for sure.

Amanda - posted on 07/27/2010

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I think its very irresponsible. I have friends that go out every other day to get drunk or high.

I cant imagine leaving my son every weekend to go get drunk. I can barely stand to leave him for a night so me and his dad can have a night to ourselves.

Autumn - posted on 07/27/2010

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I also had my daughter at seventeen and i know exactly what you mean!!! I went to high school with a girl who pretty much gave birth than handed her kid to her mom! She lives on campus at wright state and drinks and parties EVERY weekend! I have gone out after having my daughter but it was to the movies or to eat with my fiance for an evening alone. I cant stand young mothers who do not own up to thier responsibilities! I am very glad to hear that i am not the only teen mom who has given her child top priority! Keep up the good work because those other girls will not be able to tell thier children that yea i gave up the party life and playing around for you.... but we can! :)

Angie - posted on 07/26/2010

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i have to say....well said!!!! sounds like u r a great mom!! i am 19 and i totally agree with u...but going out once in a while is ok...i dont go out and party...heck i rarely go out at night lol...what i do when my daughter is with a friend of mine (my friend is 38) or my parents, i sit at home and try to get some sleep...i was never into partying much before i got pregnant...i drank sometimes but after i got and until now i havent even drank so much as one beer and my daughter is.. almost 11 months old...i get so mad when i see people complaining that they cant go out because of their kids..its ridiculous....so thank u for being a responsible mom...people like u give teen moms a good name :) lol

Katherine - posted on 07/26/2010

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it nice to know there are other young mommies who feel the same as i do. my son is 4 months old and i can count on one hand the times i've been out without him. And I have NEVER asked anyone to take him. I get pushed to go out a lot because everyone thinks i "need" it. And it is nice to relax sometimes, but most of the time when he's gone i do nothing but miss him awfully. So many girls i know don't feel the same about their children as i do about mine, and it really makes me sad. =[

Tesla - posted on 07/26/2010

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i agree with you. Im 19 and I have a 20 month old and a 5 month old and i never go out neither does their dad. I also know girls my age that is never home with their kids and goes out all the time. I love putting my kids to bed at night i like being there if they wake up and need mommy. My bf has to talk me in to going out for a few hours to get away and i miss them and i call like ever 30 min to check up on them. My nights are spent giving baths, and hanging out with my kids and boyfriend thats more fun than going out and stuff.

good job for being a good mommy :)

Kaitlyn - posted on 07/26/2010

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I think going out every weekend is just stupid. i understand your young and want to go out and thats fine but your also a mom and being a mom comes before anything! I know for me it is hard cuz this year me and all my friends are truing 19 and everyone is going out but i realized that in the bigger picture i would much rather stay home with my little boy and boyfriend then go out and get drunk . i go out without my kid maybe once a month and thats not even to party its to go see a movie or have a date night with my boyfriend and even when im out i miss my little man and cant wait to get home. We all need a break but those girls need to understand that what there doing isnt being a mom its being stupid!

Joy - posted on 07/26/2010

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I have 4 children and they are always with me because I choose to be a stay at home mother.I was 18 when I was prego with my 1st bby and after having her I NEVER even thought of dropping her off to go have a drink and party!My friends would only see me if they came to my home!To be a real good mother you should not look foward to weekend so you can leave your child and go get drunk party etc.Yet you should look foward to waking up every morning clear headed and seeing there smiling lil faces!! In my oppion it really does say that your not ready for kids if your still partying,and if you say well it was an unexpected pregnancy then who says that should have expected it if they were not using protection!If I were you I would do what your doing and be a family and go out with your boyfriend,and baby,and enjoy life with them for you only get one!!

Sarh - posted on 07/26/2010

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Honey, those are the moms who should have never been allowed to have a child!! I'm glad you find this to be wrong because in my opinion this wrong. I had my daughter at 16, I will be 21 in 1 month and I now have a 4yr old daughter and 6 wk old son. I do NOT plan on going out for my birthday, I feel no desire too... I have a family to have fun w/and spend my birthday with. But, then again I am much more mature then most my age. I completely agree w/you!!

Paige - posted on 07/25/2010

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hey im 19 and my son will b 2 in august i used to love going out and 2 b honest i miss it but my partner( my sons father) and i went out jus for dinner the other night and i could think bout was my son, i was so happy to pick him up from my mums and him come running at me saying mama mama. As much as it is good to get out it is even better to b wit him. I dnt hav very many oppertunities to get out as my mum works alot and he is my son i cant jus throw that responsibilty away but every few months to get out alone or wit my partner is so refreshing. I dnt agree wit doin it every weekend but no harm done in doing it every once in a while

Erin - posted on 07/25/2010

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hi sophie, i totally agree with u, im 21 and have 2 little girls (20 months and 2 weeks old), since my oldest daughter was born i have only been out once and that was only for a couple of hours. id much rather stay at home with my children, tuck them in2 bed every night instead of bein out partying, i agree that us mums do need 2 go out every once in a while 2 have a break but every weekend is silly :)

Helen Katrina - posted on 07/25/2010

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going out everyone in a while is fine we all no that a break is necisary at times... but every weekend or every night thats just too much... if thats how they want to act all the time they arent being responsible parents.

Alyssa - posted on 07/25/2010

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I've neen asking myself this too. My son will have to go to daycare while i work, and i can't even stand thinking about that, I could never imagine leaving him so i could go party, but i think it is good, and healthy to get out and have time for ourselves, but i just haven't been able to do it yet :P

Amanda - posted on 07/25/2010

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i agree. i have a 2 month old daughter, im 15 years old im still in my middle teen years and even i couldnt stand the thought of leaving her every weekend to go out partying. I have the oppotunity to aswell as my parents + my boyfriend dont mind looking after her but the guilt builds inside me, not once have i spent a night or even over 3 hours away from her, next weekend i'll be spending a night away from her as its my birthday and im doing something special with my other half, i feel more mature then half the mums your on about and im 15? xx

Mandy - posted on 07/25/2010

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i think its pathetic im 19 i had my child at 18, i agree with you why have a child if you cant be assed to look after him/her, going out a few times is ok but not every flaming week that child will slowly become to not want to be with its mother as he/her will be used to the sitter, i think it is awful, when you get pregnant at that age means you have to grow up, ur forced to be an adult as, they did want to keep the child

Lourdes - posted on 07/25/2010

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Yea, I see those kind of mothers where i live too. They think their cool. and always talking crab about other mothers. Spending time with your son is a great time. You won't regret it. I don't regret being with my son all the time. But some people just don't get it.

Sophie - posted on 07/25/2010

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It just upsets me when i see babies mums out on the piss all the time and not looking after their child, my babies dad has him every now and again, like once a month or once every two monthsm so i can have time with my friends but when i got pregnant i knew the consiquences would be me having to cut back my social life to look after my child and i took the decision to do that and chose my baby over partying and its the best choice ive ever made

Lourdes - posted on 07/24/2010

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I'm an 18 year old. I had my son at 16. Well it is true you know....it wouldn't be bad once in a while to go out, or make plans with friends (not to drink), so you could take your baby. I don't go out at all. i'm a full time student and the time that im not at school i want to spend it with him.... So what i have to say is, that if your not mature enough to give up your freedom for you kid...then don't get pregnant. Because babies aren't born walking and talking. It takes patients. so yeah..

Natasha - posted on 07/24/2010

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I had my son at 17. I haven't needed a babysitter except for necessary things. Like when I was in the hospital and when I was working. I think teen moms that go out and leave their child with someone is extremely irresponsible. I love my son and hate every second that I am not with him.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/24/2010

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I agree completely. I go out usually once a month, and even as I'm leaving the house I feel bad for "abandoning" my son. (I'm not abandoning him... hes at home with his daddy, I just feel that way.)

Brooke - posted on 07/24/2010

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why you ask? because these mothers/fathers are not as mature as they would have everyone believe.
I personally go out with my partner once every couple of weeks. we go to the movies. But our daughter, 18 months old has only ever stayed away from us for 1 night.
I can go out when i want to, but i choose not to cause i love watching my princess grow and learn, I don't want to miss out on something i can never get back.

Amber - posted on 07/23/2010

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I agree with you 100%. I am a young mother also, and i stay at home with son while his father works. We hardly ever go out, the only time we went out and partied was on halloween of last year and we were only away from our son for 4 hours, i just hate reading on some of my friends' status's on facebook about how they go out and party and do all types of stuff while their child is at home with their child's grandparents. Its like and they have the nerve to call themselves a mommy, more like a sperm/egg donor for the parents. But i guess we are one of the few that have our kids young that actually take care of our responsibilities, our children.

Desiree - posted on 07/23/2010

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i kno moms my age who go out, or stay home while sending their kid to a babysitter, & drink & get high every weekend & sometimes during the week too. i think its crazy!! thats overdoing it. going out once in a while b/c every mom needs a break at least once a month but not every weekend getting trashed...

moms who get to go out once or twice a month take advantage of that!! i have only been able to go out 3-4 times without dragging my daughter with me. 2 of those were a club outting, not that i'd ever drag my daughter to something like that but i just mean getting out of the house without her period has only been a handful of times because my mom & my fiance's mom dont like to deal with my daughter (as in feeding her & all that b/c she needs extra care(lots of meds)) even tho they're used to it & will do it even when i am there... since i got pregnant i lost pretty much all of my friends closest & not so close, alike. i have 1 gf i talk to & we go to her house or hang out at the mall but we always take my daughter with us. i love my daughter to death & miss her on the rare occasion that i do get to get out of the house without her but i need a break too. she's over a year old...

anyhow i do completely agree that its absolutely ridiculous for "moms" to go out all the time & get wasted. they should be spending more time with their babies.

Jessyca - posted on 07/23/2010

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I completely agree and couldnt have said it better myself!!! You are a very mature young mother and never give up on that!!!

Shiloh - posted on 07/23/2010

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i agree! because i know someone who leaves there baby like everyday to go "work" ang get high and drunk and laid...it pisses me off, yes i go out but its actually to work or to find another job and do school work and sometimes to have time to myself, but i never get drunk or high, i dont believe being a mom and those 2 things mix at all, if i were a regular college student yeah but no

Chandra - posted on 07/23/2010

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I'm 21 and I have two kids. My mom will take them once a month sometimes even two nights a month, but she takes them because they want to go not because I want to party and go out. But if my kids are at my moms for the night and someone calls and wants to go out I will. I'm not always looking to go out when they are at my moms. Yes there are nights when I call my mom and ask her to take the boys for a night on the weekend just because I need a break from my sons because I am a single mom. I dont think its bad if a mom goes out and drinks unless they are underage and shouldnt be drinking anyway. Its different to plan going out and drinking then having your kids away and get asked to hang out with friends that you might not be able hang out with all the time. Sometimes I will plan a night when the boys are at their grandmas to drink, but it is so rare. When they are gone I usually go out and drink so i think thats fine. But you are right, I dont see how people can go out every weekend and drink. I was like that for a month and then started thinking about everything i was missing with my son and now have slowed it down a lot to only drinking MAYBE once a month. I have yet to drink this month and am proud of myself, but last weekend my son wanted to go to his grandmas house so bad that he took his booster seat out of my car and tried to put it in grandmas so she said that he could come over this weekend.

Krystal - posted on 07/23/2010

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i am 23 and i have 2 boys reece is 4in aug and tyler is 3 in sep i am a single mum and my mum has the boys 1 day a week nomley a wed but its not to go out clubing in the day a clean my home from top to bottom and at the night i go to my best m8ts who has not got kids but its been like this from when reece was a cuple off of weeks old but i did soffer with relly bad p.n.d and my mum das it soican have a brack even thow she has never had p.n.d she has been a single mum to 4kids and no's haw hard it is andilot can say im a bad mum but i no im not ilove my kids and thay love staying at nannys home and if thay ring up saying can iwont u to stay to mummy i will drop everythink to be with my boys. but yes i do agree with u going out clubing is NOT part of motherhood and if u still wanna do that maybe thay was not redy to be a mum xx

Brandie - posted on 07/23/2010

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You are a very rare teenage mother and I applaud you for that. These mothers who need to go out every weekend are very immature. I know as a teenager getting pregnant is not planned. But I think if these girls are this immature they should have givin there babies to someone who will be there for them 7 days a wk not 5. I have a 4yr old son. I got pregnant at 18 so believe me I know. I was right at the legal mark. I was partying all the time before I got pregnant and even had a momment of temp insanity where I had to go out while he was at the babysitter too. But I missed him. I guess thats the difference between immaturity and maturity. Now I am 23 yrs old with a 4 yr old and we spend most of our time as a family. I do not smoke and rarelly do I drink. I wouldn't have it any other way

Dominique - posted on 07/23/2010

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I think its totally irresponsible of the parent to leave that child every weekend to go party. I have only left my daughter over night one time in the 8months that shes been bored and it wasn't even to go party. I went and stayed with a friend for the night who I hadn't seen in forever. I would never leave my child to go party all night and day. Its your responsibility as a parent to be there for your child and obviously going out every weekend makes you look like a horrible parent.

Rachel - posted on 07/23/2010

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I think going and getting drunk all the time, especially when you have a little boy, is irresponsible. I mean, hey, Im ALL for having fun..but EVERY weekend? I mean, the alcohol and partying will always be there, but your son is only a little boy once. And im not saying I dont think you shouldnt go out..because I think you should. Its good to get out of the house and be able to let go and not worry about your son for a couple of hours!! I dont think you should do it ever weekend and party and drink. But I do think you should leave your son with his dad and go out and have fun every once in a while. Fun is good for a mother!! :)

Christine - posted on 07/23/2010

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I agree but we do have to get out now and again 2 let our hair down! It can be a tough job being a mother! Your friends probably arent even the legal age to be out drinking! Im 20 and have a 21 month old daughter, i stay at home with her full time and love it but unlike your friends i dont have the oppurtunity to go out! The only person my daughter will stay with is my mum and my mum wont watch her because shes done with looking after kids which is understandable! If i were you pet i would take advantage of your boyfriend wanting to watch your son to let you out even if it is once every month or once every 2 months!! You need time for you aswell! Good luck no matter what you decide! But to be honest you will grow to recent your friends if you dont. xx

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