Kaisha - posted on 06/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )
Hi everyone, this is my first post so hopefully I can get some help for a newbie!
I'll start off with a background report.. I'm 24 and my son (Jackson) will be 5 in August. I was with his father for four years and split for good when my son was 10 months old, although he was in prison for 9 of those months! He now has another long-term partner and a two year-old son who is a brother to my boy in every sense of the word. My son's contact with his father is very sporadic, I try to establish a set routine but he is hugely unreliable and isn't a dedicated father to either of his boys, though he sees more of his youngest as he is in a relationship with the mother.
I've been with my current boyfriend (Bobby) for 2 years in February past, I'm his first girlfriend and so he has no children or experience of them. Jackson and Bobby met quite early on in our relationship by accident (he was dropped off home by his aunt several hours earlier than anticipated!) Jackson and Bobby still haven't bonded, which deeply worries me as he has spent more time in the past two years with my boyfriend than he has with his own father. My job requires me to work nights and some weekends which means that Bobby is left to watch Jackson often and Jackson expresses upset when I have to leave, my boyfriend has no patience with my son and constantly intervenes when I'm trying to discipline him by doing things like picking him up and shutting him in his bedroom etc. I have attempted to instruct Bobby not to do so but he just insists that I am too soft of a mother and that Jackson is a badly behaved child, which ALWAYS escalates into an arguement!
Basically, Bobby is not good with children and this has become increasingly more apparent over the period of our relationship. He doesn't understand children, has no patience and is either fuding with him or annoying him like he is a child himself, which 9/10 times will end in tears from Jackson.
This is causing me huge amounts of stress because in many other aspects, Bobby is a good partner. He is faithful, reliable and a good hard grafter. Though he has been 'babied' himself from his mother and is more like a child when at my house - he's untidy and unable to complete any household chores!
What do I do? He's been in Jackson's life for almost half of it...