why, oh why, would you plan to get pregnant at such a young age??

Breanna - posted on 07/30/2010 ( 55 moms have responded )

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i'm very curious about this. it boggles my mind that girls are doing/considering this.
i understand becoming pregnant with a baby by surprise. i'm 21 and have 2 little girls, my first and 18 and second at 20. life has been hard for me and my childrens father. luckily i had already graduated highschool and my boyfriend was responsible in the way of providing for our baby, but i now have practically no friends, no time to myself, and find myself wishing sometimes that i could live life a little and be a teenager again. (i got pregnant a month out of highschool) i don't regret my girls whatsoever, they are my gift from God! it's just sooo hard sometimes. i can't imagine having a baby any younger than i was.

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Denise - posted on 08/01/2010

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i agree. i had sex without protection. yes i am not a teen i was 22 but he was still a suprise.. i owned up and grew up. i love my 6mth old son more than anything. im one of those people who feel schools should be able to give away birth control without parental consent. id rather my son have sex safely even without my consent than sneak around and get a girl preggo.

Tiffany - posted on 07/30/2010

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everyone choose to get pregnant when they have sex... unless they where raped. it is a risk u are willing to take

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Christine - posted on 08/21/2010

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hmm..i got pregnant at 19, got married..now my baby is 20 months now and i'm turning 22-..it's so hard but still I thank God for giving me enough strength to pass the everyday routines..the adjustment period of being teenager to motherhood is not easy physically, emotionally,mentally,socially...but I surpass them all..I have my husband with a stable job and I give credit to God for everything..thanks to my baby boy,my husband, for the love,the trials,the success and for helping us to finish school...

Lindsey - posted on 08/21/2010

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On another thought, again, my son wasn't planned (by the way I'm 17 and got pregnant when I was 16, had him two months ago.) I had the choice to get an abortion and I chose not to. I had a choice to give him up for adoption but I chose NOT TO. I chose to keep him. And let me tell you what.....I was into some PRETTYYYY bad shit before I got pregnant. And I'm glad I got pregnant because it really made me grow up. A LOT. I'd rather be sitting at home, taking care of my son, rather than going out and smoking pot and drinking like all the kids my age I know. 7 kids in the past...oh...year? have gotten killed from drunk driving related accidents at the school I just graduated from.


And people who think that teens who have babies can't have lives...and will never succeed, are WRONG. I have recently graduated from high school and from an EMT class. Within the next 6 months, I will be certified as an EMT. I have my life in order. I had my life planned out, so I thought, but having a baby is just a bump in the road that has taught me so much about life and responsibility. Life goes on after having a baby. For those people who are fortunate to have a baby sitter and can go out and do things, good for you! I mean it. Your life doesn't end just because you had a baby. Mine didn't. I'm still going to reach for my goals because I know I can achieve them. Anyone who has had a baby can still aspire and meet their own standards. Life...does...go...on.

Lacrecia - posted on 08/20/2010

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i was 16 when i first gt pregnant with my daughter i ddnt use no protection but yes i was blown away. but i did what i had to do finishhed highschool and know im in college i love my daughter but if you dnt wnt kids stay away from sex because no birth controle is 100%

Lindsey - posted on 08/20/2010

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I don't get it either that girls WANT to get pregnant now-a-days. I met with my recruiter for the National Guard on a Tuesday and was going to join by that Friday, and that same Tuesday night, I found out I was pregnant. Go figure. I had my WHOLE life planned out, and a baby wasn't in it until way later down the road. But, stuff happens. I'm glad I have my little man now because it really changed me for the better, but it's not like i went out and purposely got knocked up! It boggles my mind too....

Brianne - posted on 08/20/2010

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I had my son at 15. He wasn't planned, but he wasn't prevented. He is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. Life was really rough, I worked, went to school took care of my kid, his father and his fathers brothers and sisters. At the point I got pregnant with my son I didn't have a life anyway. So nothing really changed in my social life once I had him. My childhood was already gone at 8 years old, and responsibility was laid upon my shoulders. In body at 14, when I became pregnant, I was already mentally at 20 or 25. Now that I am 20 years old with a 5 year old, I feel like I'm 45. I look back and don't regret a thing. I look at my "friends" through those years when I was working my ass off, and see the things they did and I look at what they are doing now and go "what the fuck?" The partying, the drinking, the drugs, most still live at home, have no jobs and no education! I'm so glad I had my son to keep me away from all those things and made me even more responsible. And those "friends" that you no longer have, its probably best you don't have them, they can cause so many problems and if they left you because you have no "social life" then they weren't your friends to begin with. Friends will stick by you no matter what, they will come to you or find a way for you to bring your family with you. And I don't know about you but I seem to find atleast a few hours a day to myself no matter what, and I work a full time job, go to school full time and have a household to run. Live the life you have now, make the most of it! Your children and family are your life! Yes I admit there are days when I'm so frustrated and tired and I think "oh what it would be like to not have a kid or family" but then I see my little boy and my husband and then I chastise myself for even thinking like that. Having a baby at younger than 18 isn't much different then having one at even 25 or 30. Its a little harder with school and people with their "standards" making it hard on you but I faced the same problems my own mother did when she had me at 32. Age shouldn't matter when it comes to being a mom, responsibility and maturity are what matters.

Erin - posted on 08/19/2010

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i had my first son at 18 but i had a 1 year old step son already... i choose to get pregnant because i knew that i could handle having a baby at a young age.... i am now 20 and im doing great with a 2 and three year old! i love it and i knew i would that is why i choose to get pregnant! :)

Caitlen - posted on 08/18/2010

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does anyone consider that maybe there is a reason for having a child young??? when i was 14 i was rushed to hospital from school with major cramping in my gut, after GOD knows how many people had poked and prodded me, and a very uncomfortable ultrasound (i had a iv drip in and they made me drink 1 litre of water so i ended up with 2 litres in my bladder!!!! VERY PAINFUL!!!!) i was told that i had the worst case of polycistic ovarian syndrome the doc had ever seen, i was used as a training thing for all the med students, then after a night in hospital i had a consultation with a female health doctor who proceeded to tell me that if i didnt start trying to have kids within 5 years my chances of EVER having kids would be less than 1%!!!!!! just what you want to hear when you are only 14 years old!!!, i still didn't fall preggo until i was 17, and that was with doctor and family approval and after trying for 7 months, people need to stop stereo typing and just assuming that if you are young then it was unplanned and is going to ruin your life, my daughter is THE best thing to ever happen to us!!! i had her when i was 18 now i am 19 and have been trying for 4 months for another, so far no luck but maybe we will be granted another miracle!!!

Natasha - posted on 08/17/2010

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I didn't mean to get pregnant but it happened. And I am happy because I love my son so much. We had a condom and (Didn't tell the guy)but I had taken a morning after pill. But god works in mystrious ways and he still blessed me with a beautiful baby boy.

Lynnelle - posted on 08/17/2010

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excuse me cherelle i am not slagging off anyone ! i didnt say your baby controls you ! i say that your life is revolved around that baby, good on you for having a babysitter at your call but not everyone has that luxury, this conversation is getting way more intense than it needs to. under no circumstances am i doubting isabels, or anyone for the matter, ability to be a mother ! i have no doubt that she would be a great mother, what i was saying from my very first comment was that in my opinion WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO PLAN A BABY AT A YOUNG AGE ! thats what this post is all about, my first comment was not directed at an anyone in particular and from there has come bout all these other comments. and isabel, no one is criticizing you, at least im not? and cherelle im not saying you cant spend time with your friends and partner under no circumstances did i say that!! i spend alot of time with my husband and my baby. this has gotten way out of proportion. i too have a life thank you very much a very good one at that.

like i said I AM NOT DOUBTING ANYONES ABILITY TO BE A MOTHER WHAT IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IS WHY YOU WOULD PLAN A BABY AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE !!
im sorry about your sick mother really i am, i find myself in a similar situation, my dad was sick for almost half of my life so playing mother came naturally to me and my family. didnt mean i wanted to make a baby?
please bear in mind im not attacking you, judging you or accusing you of being a bad person, what you do is your business, i personally just dont understand why you, as a teenager would want to miss out on all the glorious things as a teenager, looking back alot of my friends, although they wouldnt give up their babys for anything, wish they had that opportunity to live life as a teenager.

Ali - posted on 08/17/2010

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I didn't plan my daughter no! BUT i am only 19 and and would quite happily plan more. Despite what you say they are all women no matter what age and have a right to have children. Yeah i don't agree with some of them most get pregnant for the attention but it is something that will never stop no matter what any of us say! and yo say you had already graduated highschool? it's not uncommon for girls in england to get pregnant at 16 as thats the age they leave school over here.

Tiffany - posted on 08/17/2010

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Your more then welcome Isabel. :-) Once again i wish the soon to be 3 of you the very best of luck. And remember to make time for yourselves :-)

Cherelle - posted on 08/17/2010

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no my baby wasnt planned buh he is the best part of my life, i had all the baby born dolls and babysat from the age of 13 and i was a nanny of two boys, buh having my own baby is much much better than any of them and matter of fact a baby can bring people closer and not necceserily the parents me and my nan have always been at each others throats but since i had her first great grandchild she round every 2 days she does my washing we chat, we go park and she has him once a week.
also lynelle i have to DISSAGREE with your comment you will not have a life. I HAVE A LIFE THANK-YOU my sons life revolves around mine if i gotta do summat he comes if a m8s bday is coming up n really wants me to come i get a babysitter. my m8 is battlin in a dj competion next thurs im going. your life doesnt have to completly go just coz u have a baby. and before i get any stupid comments back ive already told my health visitor my views and she AGREES letting ur babies life control urs can make you depressed. every mother/ father needs them time even if it is just a romantic walk, cinema or going out with friends either way its a must. and ur more than welcome isabel i dissagree with alot of what they are saying. And yes lynelle this site is for opinions buh if u read it completly your asked not to slag the moms off which u are clearly doing people go on this site to get positive feedbacks hense community arnt they supposed to stick together????

Isabel - posted on 08/17/2010

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Thank you tiffany. i believe it will bring us closer together we have already gotten closer since we found out i was preg.

Tiffany - posted on 08/17/2010

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Oh and our son has deffinatly brought us closer together. Were more in love now then we were when we got married 3 years ago. Oh and Isabel good on you. :-) My husband and i moved in together when we were 16 and im the first to admit we were immature but thats been the fantastic part we got the chance to grow up and mature together and it has been a wonderful thing. I have been on the road you are about to go on and im telling you there are hard times and good but you will love every minute of it. We feel pregnant with out first at 17 but unfortunately she was born early and was stillborn. Best of luck for you your partner and your baby.

Tiffany - posted on 08/17/2010

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Hey, I was 19 when i fell pregnant with my son. had him at 20. He was planned. I had been with my husband since I was 14 and we had been married for a year and i love kids and he always wanted heaps. So we had our son planned. Wouldnt change it for the world.

Britney - posted on 08/17/2010

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that's your opinion. everyone is entitled to one. anyways good luck on the baby!!!

Britney - posted on 08/17/2010

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bring you closer? really that is classic. i am sorry about your moms sickness but that in no way amounts to having a baby whom relies only on you. you have no idea of what will happen when you have this baby no one does. no one is criticising you we are just being honest. if you can not handle it then ignore it. this site was made for advice and opinions good or bad. if you were so secure in your decision to have a baby than this shouldnt bother you.

Isabel - posted on 08/17/2010

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I am not dumb in any relationship no matter what age you are there is a chance of your partner leaving you. and i know that we wont have time to ourselves but if anything the baby will bring us closer. I have been forced to grow up since i was 9 years old because my mum was sick and i had to basically be her mother. so i never got to be a kid. and i am aware of everything that will happen when i have this baby.
Thank you Cherelle I just feel that it is not right that we get criticised Just because i am young. i am sick of it and when i see someone talking about something i do not like i just do not say anything. i do not think this website was made for people to give negative comments. if you do not have anything good to say do not say it at all. Simple.

Lynnelle - posted on 08/17/2010

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isabel with all do respect, your digging yourself a mighty hole here. i mean i didnt think my baby daddy would leave me either..but he did...twice..and we were both 18. we`re together now but britneys right. and by the way, having lots of money doesnt make a difference, you cant buy love. did it ever occur to you that maybe he could leave? he might say he wont., but i`ve been there love im not saying he will but its a possibility. anyone can be dad it takes a real man to be a father. and trust me being a young mum. it is hard gurl, i dont understand why in your right mind would even want to miss out on anything as a teenager because believe you me you will. your life will no longer revolve around you and your boyfriend because every moment will be concentrated on that baby. all your money, time and effort will be on that baby.....whyy oh whyyyyy !!

Cherelle - posted on 08/17/2010

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id just like to add isabel i think you are wonderful your views on life and your baby are beautiful i think you are doing a wonderful job like i said in my earlier post ignore any negative responses. my mother used to work for teenage pregnancy and its a fact that most young mothers are actually better than the older mums as they have more time for their little ones. my sons nearly one and my health visitor is actually amazed at his progress and puts it down to the amount of time spent with him. i still have my own life as well i go out whenever i have spare money and my nan has his once a week so i can have friends round and have a laugh also i think your partner deserves alot of credit too there are sooo many fathers that just walk away my sons father wanted it all buh then decided he didnt but ive proved even tho im a young mum i can and will make it thru any situation that comes my way its not about the age of the person its wether or not they can cope with the day to day pressure of being a mum. once again congratulations and have fun with motherhood it truly is a blessing. xxx

Britney - posted on 08/17/2010

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i said nothing negative im sorry if you took it that way. the only problem i have with teenage moms is when they decide to play "house"and plan to get pregnant. i was a teen mom and still am a young mom so i like to give and recieve advice from others in my situation good or bad. if you only want people to tell you what you want to hear you might as well keep your things to your self.....welcome to the real world!!!

Isabel - posted on 08/17/2010

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Well this group is called teen mums! its sad that you just want to come on and say negative things to everyone if you do not like the idea of teenage mums why are you in this group?

Britney - posted on 08/17/2010

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if you wanted no ones input on your business you would not post on an online community. you will get good input and bad input, it's a part of life. you should have thought of all this before you planned to get pregnant. being an adult means being able to take both and use them to your advantage instead of getting all worked up over it.

Britney - posted on 08/17/2010

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i never assumed, look up the word hypothetically. you do not own a house it was a gift and your name is and can not be on it at this time. i know this is none of my business but you keep answering my questions. it doesnt matter who the "main person that wanted the baby was, the facts are you are still a child no matter how mature you think you are. the first step in maturity is not planning to have a baby when you still are one in so many ways.

Isabel - posted on 08/16/2010

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My dad has 3 houses and he gave me one. and I do not think any of this is your business you have no right to just assume that my boyfriend is going to leave and I think you need to grow up. trying to tell other people what's going to happen in their life your not a friggen psychic. and FYI my boyfriend was the main one who wanted a baby he told me he wanted one and I wanted one too so we decided it was time.

Britney - posted on 08/16/2010

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how do "you" own your own house? if you dont mind me asking. you are 16 being with someone for 3 years at that age doesnt mean much, you have no idea how your relationship will be when you grow up.

Isabel - posted on 08/16/2010

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I Do not know how you can just assume things like that. I actually own a house. I have a job and plenty of money. So I think you should get your facts right before you start just assuming things. And I have been with my partner for 3 years and I know he wont leave me for a long time.

Britney - posted on 08/16/2010

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hypothetically speaking isabel, what would you do if in a few months your child's father walked out? you have no place of your own, no job, no money, no car and a baby on the way. you may think you know what your life will be like but you have only an "idea"

Isabel - posted on 08/16/2010

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Well i am happy with my life and how its going to be once the baby is born, my boyfriend is the most supportive person i have ever met and i already have just about everything for my baby and i am only 4 months and i am 16 and i am referring to just any teenage age.

Lynnelle - posted on 08/16/2010

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Hi Isabel...like i said in my post it was MY opinion. im not judging anyone. all im saying is no one really knows what its like to be a parent until you actually have a baby, no manual no instructions. nothing. im quite aware that people mature at different ages but reality kicks in after that 9months is over, coz trust me that's the easiest part ! im saying IMMATURE because if you have the opportunity to live your teen years whats the rush in all of a sudden wanting to grow up? i have soooo many friends and family who had babys at a young age all of which were unplanned. some coped really well, others wished they had the opportunity to be a teen. have that freedom. but just out of curiosity how old are you? and at what "age" were you referring to?

Brooke - posted on 08/16/2010

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Planning a child at a young age probably not a good idea. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. We had talked about sex and what if we got pregnant but the reality is different. I dont think either of us considered the stress, how to balance work, school, our daughter. I have always loved kids and wanted one of my own, but I always had a plan that I'd wait until marraige and after college obviously that didn't happen. Once our relationship became serious I went on the pill but more so to regulate my period and we still become pregnant. As others stated if you have sex be prepared to become pregnant, no condom or pill can guarantee 100% that you wont become pregnant!

Isabel - posted on 08/16/2010

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Well everyone matures at different ages you know. I know that it is going to be hard but I am ready. I think personally that its immature to judge people when you do not even know them everyone matures at different levels. Maybe some people think like that because they look back on themselves at that age.

Lynnelle - posted on 08/16/2010

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planning a baby at a young age, in my opinion is immature, they dont know what they`re getting into, its easy to babysit other kids, you can give them back. Im 20 and i have a 15month babygirl, she wasn`t planned at ALL but hey, dont get me wrong i love her to bits. but yeh...you`ll find teens know about protection oh too well but it`s not till after they`re shock and surprise of baby they remember how to use it !!

Cherelle - posted on 08/16/2010

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ive always been maternal but still it was a shock when i found out i had been on the pill but no words can describe how happy i was when i found out i knew the responsibility of becoming a parent and the ups and downs but i knew i was ready to be there for him! i dont understand why its sooo bad for young women to have babies back in the old days girls were having babies as soon as they could so y the big to do's now as long as they have a sturdy upbringing and are loved completly whats the problem i take my hats off to all girls that take responsibilty for their actions theres plenty nowadays that use abortion as contraception.
to all those young mums out there that know they are brill mummys well done and a big congrats ignore anyone who has a bad word against you!! x

Lauren - posted on 08/16/2010

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My fiancee and I planned our bubby boy. He is six months old and we are both 20. We wonted kids! We new what we where in for. Our lives havnt changed to much- and all the changes are good!!! We still have lives. We have the most beautiful son. We have a solid relationship and have been together for 3 1/2 years and known each other for 8. Our son has bought us even closer together- wich we never new was possible!

Amy - posted on 08/14/2010

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Lol. I've been since I was 15. And I'm not from a small town, but I live in one. And I'll be marrying him next month. I'm aware of how rare it is considering I see tons of lovers breaking up constantly.

Noreen - posted on 08/14/2010

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How can you be engaged at 16?? Do you know how rare it is for someone at 16 to end up with their HS sweet heart?? Unless you're from a small town, it's extremly rare!!

Amy - posted on 08/14/2010

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I was engaged when I got pregnant and I will state I never planned my son in the sense you mean it by, but I will say he came into my life on purpose since we did happen to have sex. I was 16 when I got pregnant and I grew up as the second born of a young mother so I was talked to a lot about motherhood. My mother told me exactly what some of the girls are saying on here... If your old enough to have sex then your old enough to take on a child. I do know I had used protection once I started having sex, but I knew that condoms rip. And I had talked with my fiance about what if I got pregnant and he and I both were aware of possible outcomes and his mother also was a teen mother so he knew as well as I did. Like I said we did take necessary precautions knowing what we knew and just one day a little slip up happened. I fell pregnant and not going to lie since I knew I had a responsibility I had to suck it up and be a big girl about it. Not once was I scared bec I'm used to knowing babies happen and there's no turning back. Now my son is 13 months old and next month I'll be 18 and I couldn't be happier with what happened. Sure my son was planned on paper, but he was planned in my heart. And I'm one lucky girl bec my fiance kept his word to me he and I will be marrying after I turn 18. He and I took on responsibility bec we both knew if it didn't happen when it did then it would of happened sometime after. Sex makes babies and we knew that. Now as of those girls who have sex to purposely get pregnant for ridiculous reasons like to keep a boyfriend, attention, money, or even to just have a dress up doll. I don't understand that, but to me as long as they take care of the baby then why should it matter? I know a girl who has a little girl who was planned and she takes good care of her the way a mother is supposed to. And then I know girls who also planned their babies who never take care of them. And every girl I've met who's babies weren't planned on paper [[like my son]] who are taking responsibility. I don't think it's age that matters it's what you do or don't in some cases. Like I know a ton of teen girls who have or are having children and a majority of them were planned and only two [[including myself]] weren't planned and there's a majority of girls who do take care of their babies and then there's like a few who wanted babies who don't take care of them some of which who are older than myself. I make sure my son is taken care of.

Krystal - posted on 08/14/2010

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My husband and I planned our son. We were financially stable and just got married. He got laid off when I was five months pregnant! Its been a struggle ever since but I was 17 and loved being pregnant. The only hard thing was seeing all my friends having the time of their lives and I couldn't even get off the couch without help. But now I live by the rule that if my child isn't welcome where I am invited than those aren't the people I want to be around. I am 18 and my son is 8 months and people respect my wishes of where I go my son goes!

Melaura - posted on 08/14/2010

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I was watching Maury the other day and how many YOUNG YOUNG kids want to get pregnant ... 11, 12, 13 ect. I had my first when I was 17, and it was hard, but I wouldn't take it back. She saved my life. BUT I don't understand this either

Christal - posted on 08/14/2010

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Amber-Dawn MacNeil, You are choosing to ahve kids when you have sex, the only 100% effective birth control is abstinence. People often get pregnant using any type of birth control. If your old enough to spread your legs then your old enough to take care of the responsibilities that may come with doing so. If you think you can't get pregnant by using birth control method then your crazy. I got pregnant cause a condom broke. my sister got pregnant on depo and condoms. my cousin got pregnant on the pill.. its never 100% that you wont get pregnant unless you aren't having sex at all

Sarh - posted on 08/10/2010

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Courtney- I as well know girls who have had children (I don't believe they should be called mothers!) for the money, the attention!!!, and other dumb things! I had my first at 15, she was not planned and I knew he was wearing protection, but he pulled a fast one on my (took the condom off). Life has been extremely HARD!! But, I would never change it for the life of me! I graduated high school a yr early, I have been working even before I became pregnant, and went onto college right away. Now, I am 20 (21 in 14 days) and my son is 2 months old, he was not necessarily planned, but I was engaged when I became pregnant and my fiancee and I had talked about children, if it happened it happened, if not oh well. I do have days where I wish I could just have a break and go back to "teen years" and be able to experience the full blown parties, etc., but I am better off being the great mother that I am.

Courtney - posted on 08/10/2010

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it's sad to say, but some girls get pregnant for the money. i actually know (i'm not friends with her) a girl that did this. she has 3 kids, and just collects the money for drugs and whatever else. she's actually had her children taken away a few times, and kept getting them back.
and some people just don't realize how much work it really is. i mean, when i was pregnant i never imagined it would be this much work, all you have to do it change them, feed them, love them, and let them sleep. but there's soo much more to it, that no one but a mother (and father, but not as much) knows about.

Tyasia - posted on 08/10/2010

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everyone choose to get pregnant when they have sex... unless they where raped. it is a risk u are willing to take i agree. as to the woman saying you dont agree to get pregnant when you have sex. uh yes hun you do. unless your sterile or not having sex, protected sex or not your taking a chance tyo get pregnant nothing is 100% preventable i know plenty of girls who were on birth control for years and also used a condom and STILL got pregnant. people need to wake up. if you have sex with someone, you might as well be saying your ok with possibly having their child.

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