your too young!

Megan - posted on 05/31/2010 ( 138 moms have responded )

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i had my daughter when i was 19..shes now 23 weeks and ive just turned 20.. i look alot younger than i am and im sick of women coming up to me in the street and asking how old i am when im pushing my daughter in her pram.. and some of the looks that i got off people wen i was pregnant were horrible..i try not too let it get to me but i just wish people would stop judging u for what u look like! i may be a young mum but we are just as capable as any 50 year old!!

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Tiffany - posted on 07/14/2010

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Girl let me tell ya' I am 20 yrs old, and my baby is 9 months, if any old lady gave me a dirty look, or said something about me having a baby at a young age, I would go off on her, no doubt about it.

Kate - posted on 07/14/2010

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I think you just have to get used to it. cos if you look younger than what you are you'll prob get it for the next 15yrs. :)

Claudia - posted on 07/13/2010

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i didnt have tht problem wit ppl tht didnt kno me but wit ppl tht did. I look way older then my age. some girls my age were talkin about me gettin married at 18 and wen i got pregnant they would say i messed up my life. my husband is the best father ever i wouldnt change my life at all. being a mother is the best. my son is jst so perfect. and i think i can do better then other older ladies.

Shelby - posted on 07/13/2010

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i'm eighteen now and my daughter is sixteen months, i get weird looks and everything from people all the time. I may be young but i'm a good mom , age has nothing to do with it. I just wish some people would realize that. just try to ignore them, as long as your child come first thats all that matters.

Amanda - posted on 07/12/2010

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when i was pregnant with my first i was 17. some lady in front of a store looked at me and said "aren't you a little younge to be having a baby?" i looked at her in disbelief shook my head and walked away. worst part: i was with my friends ex gf who was 14 and had her baby a few months before.



then when i was 19 and 34 weeks pregnant with my second i was out with a guy friend and some lady looked at us, looked at my belly, looked at my LEFT HAND and then looked disgusted. for one,even when i was enegaged and pregnant i took my ring off because my hand swelled, and at least it looked likei was with someone.



now im tunring 20 and i have two kids. i look either about 23 or 17.soits a toss up. some times i get dirty looks and other times i get smiles and my kids get gushed over "oh! your kids are so cute!!" though a lot of people assume they're my moms kids.



edit:my son is now 2 and looks three (he's 3'2)and my duaghter is 10 months.

Monique - posted on 07/11/2010

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i know what your feeling is! i am 17 turning 18 this month with a cute 4 month old baby boy and my boyfriend is turning 19 this year.Sometimes we are walking in malls you will see all of the eyes of the people are looking at us i just ignored them! but in my mind i want to shout saying "WHATS THE PROBLEM?! MIND YOUR OWN LIFE!!"

for all the teenage mom there that having the same problem JUST IGNORE THEM! but still have a respect to judgmental people around you.

Kaura - posted on 07/11/2010

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The people that give you looks, are the people who don't want to except anything. I am quite a bit younger than you and pregnant, and the looks that I get are like I walked outside with a "Call Me Stupid" sign on my forehead.

But I've noticed when you have a good attitude, and you smile, you don't notice it too much, in fact, most people tend not to even pay attention to you, either that or they try not to let their thoughts show on their face.

I don't get dirty looks anymore, because I don't have the patience to look for them. I know I'm young, but when it comes to my baby (Who is due in three months) I know I can still supply all the love and nourishment a mother twice my age could, and that's all I need to keep me going.

Keep faith in yourself and no one else's opinions or thoughts will matter. (=

Vanessa - posted on 07/11/2010

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i SECOND that!!!! It bugs me when elders would come up to me & right off the back start judging me! At first it got to a lot, but now all I say is the only person I matter too is my son, & if he is happy then I know Im doing a damn GREAT job!!! ; )

Laura - posted on 07/10/2010

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Yeah, I get those looks alot too. I'm 20 but people say I look 16 tops and my son is 2 but people always think he is 3. "/ I have actually been asked how old I was once by the mail man while walking down the street, and when I told him I was 20 he was seriously shocked and told me I look 15! Rather annoying but I just look at the funny side. It helps. [:

Brianne - posted on 07/01/2010

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I agree with you completely!! I watched 16 and pregnant a few times and wanted to crawl through the TV and smack the stupid off of most of them!! They act like such babies and like they should be able to resume their "normal" teenage lives, but we all have news for them... YOU'RE A MOM, QUIT BEING SO SELFISH!! However, I will let you know this.. I do not smoke around my child, I do not dress like a high school slut, I do not leave my son with random people, but I still get looks and even whispers.. so that is something I can't just let go and quit getting offended. Sure, I look like I'm 13 years old and have a son and another on the way, but I also have a wedding ring on, a husband at my side, and my child is one of the best behaved children I have seen in a while.. not to sound full of myself =) I think people have like you said just watched and seen these stupid shows with these teenagers that are selfish and childish and assume that we are all like they are.

Brianne - posted on 07/01/2010

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I'm going to let you know this.. I don't think it matters how old you are.. you will get looks unless you look like you're 30 something. I am 22 and fixing to have my second child and I even get looks and scowls and whispers. I got them when I was pregnant with my son cause I was 20, but now they are worse b/c I am pregnant and am toting around a 23 month old. I also look really young, like I should be in High School, not a Senior in Medical School, but that's besides the point. The point is, you are exactly right, we are all capable of taking care of ourselves and our children and in my case capable of finishing school and getting a better paying job than many of those people who are judging me. My mom gave me a bracelet that says something that really helps me through things like that.. it goes," Lord, please grant me the serenity to understand the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Knowledge to know the difference." I can't change those people and how they view me, but I know that and can prove to myself that I am not what they percieve me as.

Catherine - posted on 06/30/2010

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I'm 20 years old and my daughter is 6 months old. I have been told by several people that I look like I'm 12 and honestly I do lol. I got terrible looks everywhere I went when I was pregnant and still get some but not as I used to (or I just stopped noticing lol). I do my best to ignore people who aren't supportive. I understand what you're going through and I just wish people wouldn't be so rude.

Shelby - posted on 06/30/2010

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Don't let it bother you! I will be 19 in Sept and my son will be 3 in Aug...as long as you know you r the best mother you can be let them think what they want to...I had my own family giving me them looks and saying stuff..I just brushed it off....

[deleted account]

I read a lot of posts on here about young moms getting looks...I personally have no idea what any of you are talking about as I have never gotten any comments or looks. I think it is all in how you carry yourself and in how you behave. We have all seen it at one point in time or another (the young mom with a baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other) some of the looks may be genuine concern for the child. Evaluate the image that you put off. Are you dressed or acting in an immoral manner when you get sized up? If not, stop getting offended. In today's society a lot of young women behave as trash, therefore MOST young moms etc may get stared at and wondered about. Blame our peers. They set bad examples, and these bad examples are promoted. For example, how many of you have ever caught an episode of that show 16 and pregnant? I wanted to call child services on half of those immature idiots. That is who is representing us ladies, so don't blame the public.

Valerie - posted on 06/25/2010

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I was 15 when I had my first child and I had a LOT to do and it was hard but I am 28 raising my 3 kids with the father and everything been together 13 yrs and its Ridiculous how people act!! I work as a part time bar tender rright now just for a few dollars til I get some stuff fixed and I see OLDER parents bring their kids to the bar so they can drink, knew someone who turned in this really drunk lady that LEFT her baby in the car while she got drunk for a few hours... and the older u get the harder to keep up, I'd hate to be 40-60 trying to raise a baby or end up dying by the time they are in middle school!! I HATE judgmental people I have opinions to but get real im still a person.... Oh sorry for venting :)

Anna - posted on 06/25/2010

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I was 17 when I got pregnant, 18 when I had my baby girl. I'll be turning 19 in a week and I get looks a lot, but I don't care. People don't know my story therefore they don't have the right to judge me. Yes, they will and are when they are looking at you but you just can't let it get to you. YOU know how much you love your child and you know that you are doing the right thing for your child, and thats all that really matters. So who cares if you get dirty looks or people say your to young just tell them that you are a great mom and you love your child more then anything and thats all that matters. Don't let anyone get to you, be strong and be a great mom! :)

Kristy - posted on 06/25/2010

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it is unfair but its never going to change! its a bit silly because back in the day women (well girls) were having babies at 13! i was 19 when i had my son, who will be 4 this November and i just had a little girl last week. i still get looks and i am 23. its stupid how they think giving us dirty looks makes any difference. its not their life & as long as we take care of our little babies they can go shove their looks & rude comments.
i have no idea why they do it, if its to make them selves better but it makes them pathetic. i also had the really rude women (older always) when i was pregnant too, it has reduced me to tears, this one lady copped it all as i was over due & had enough of old cows, i dont think she will look at another young mum lol.
chin up hun.

Krista - posted on 06/24/2010

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The best thing to do is just smile and walk away BUT I find this the most fun-- If you get a dirty look or comment, say 'lady I am 26 years old and I just because I LOOK young doesnt give you or anyone the right to give me dirty looks. I am terribly sorry you are that jealous!"

[deleted account]

Im 20 and have a 2 1/2 yr old and 8 month old twins. you should see the looks i get. Old people used to say to me at work 'you are too young to have a child!' then i would say well you know i am pregnant with twins... the look on their face was priceless lol. I just ignore it now, You know you are a good mum,Try not to worry about them

Carlee - posted on 06/22/2010

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my son is 6 months old and im 18 i got pregnant when i was 16 and had him at 17. I got a lot of horrible looks and it hurt me. But now that i have my beautiful son when people look at me dirty i dont mind cause i have something they may not. I love my baby boy we have so much fun together and anyone who thihks for a second that im not capable of doing what they could is crap! i work around 40 hrs a week and he give him everything he needs and wants teen parents are not always bad parents sometimes they can be better parents than 30 year olds!

Krista - posted on 06/17/2010

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HEARD THAT!! I am 19 yrs old and I have a 9 month old. I graduted with honors and all that good stuff..just pregnant as could be. Then just yesterday I was at the store I had just picked up my daughter and this lady tells me I dont look a day over 16. That just made me feel GREAT. But dont let people bother you there just ignorant..and just know when our kids are in high school we will still be hot..lol..have a great day.

Michelle - posted on 06/17/2010

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i kno that u r a great mom just ignore people when they say things like that or look at u funny

Lisa - posted on 06/17/2010

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i was 17 wen i had my wee girl then turned 18 8 weeks l8r. luckly me nd my bf look older thn wat we r but ano a few of ma friens who r pregnant get funny looks.

Jennifer - posted on 06/17/2010

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Honey get used to it my son is now 7 years old I had him when I was 16 and I still get looks, like I am his big sister or something. the whole point is hey he got here by me being a good mom he is darn near 8 years old and a very healthy boy I guess you just have to live and prove to people the judgement is wrong

Caitlen - posted on 06/17/2010

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Babe all i can say is, try, try, try not to let it get to you!! just think that everyone gets judged, and as long as you are a good mum and you do the best you can for your child all you have to do is turn around with a big smile on your face and say "i noticed you were looking at my beautiful child, she is 23 weeks old and the light of my life" and i am pretty sure they will turn away quicker then you can laugh in their face!!!, remember too that years and years ago the average age for getting married was 15 and if you DIDN't have at least 1 child before the age of nineteen you were considered to have something wrong with you!!! WE ARE THE BEST MOMS IN THE WORLD!!!! POWER TO THE YOUNG MUM!!!

Samantha - posted on 06/16/2010

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i will be 19 when i have my baby, and believe me, the things people do and say behind your back is awful. all i hear is "you're too young. you don't know what you're doing." but you do. motherly instincts will be there. i know mine are

Joshua - posted on 06/08/2010

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Im with you on that. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son, I found out right after I turned 19. Im almost 21 now and people still think im 16. Just be glad the nurse at the peds office hasn't asked you if you brought your little brother in. that really pissed me off.

Kaitlyn - posted on 06/08/2010

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I'm 19, my son is 5 & a 1/2 months old.
i got pregnant on my 18th birthday (best present ever) i am now married to his father *may 1st* who is 23, and we STILL get those looks and nasty remarks.

Jessa - posted on 06/08/2010

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yeah I understand where I live everyone who graduated in the class of 2009 which makes them 18 are pregnant. I grdauated 2008 but was a year early and I got pregnant a week before my 18th birthday and had 3 and half months before my 19th birthday and everyone who doens't live here gives me the worst comments and looks because I had her so young and not married I basicly tell them to kick rocks. We are just as good as any other parent if not better!

Jasmine - posted on 06/08/2010

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Oh I Totally Agree With You On This! I Got Pregnant When I Was Almost 16! And I Do Know That I Was Too Young!! But That Doesn't Give Anyone The Right To Give You Dirty Looks Our Just Staring At Your Pregnant Belly. When I Would Go Places With My Mom And My Daughter Everyone Would Just Assume My Daughter Was My Mom's Child And When We Said She Was Mine They Were Just Speechless!

[deleted account]

I am 26 now, I had my eldest boy when I was 17 and sometimes people were so nasty, even health visitors and the people who were supposed to be supportive. I learnt very quickly that you just have to hold your head up high and not care!
I am quite baby faced and even now I occasionally get rude comments but if there's one thing you develop as a mum it's a thicker skin! ;-)

Elizabeth - posted on 06/07/2010

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yes, i know how all of yall feel i got pregnant at 14 & had my son while i was 15 then a couple months after he was born i turned 16 now my son is a year old & at school & public places i got ugly looks from older women but i would just return the favor n look at them exactly the same nobody can tell you what the right age to have a baby neither can they say when your ready so if your taking care of your kids & being a good mommy dont listen to other peoples opinions.

Cashca - posted on 06/07/2010

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Im a young mom and i get that too but i dont let it get to me because i know regardless of what they think i made the right decision by having my son, So the next time they ask u how old u are try responding something like this... so what if im single and im 20 and i have a kid luckily its my life and not yours :)

Vicki - posted on 06/07/2010

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hiya i was 19 years old when i had finlay who is now 4.i understand what you are going through i wouldnt let it bother you,your probably a brilliant mother and nobody knows you and most of them who has to say something will be the people who are jelous of you and dont have children them selfs.

Naomi - posted on 06/07/2010

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I completely agree im 19 and have a 7 week old and i dont look much older then 15 lol im always getting bad looks and i had it and it is had to not let people get to you cause im finding it hard too!

Janice - posted on 06/06/2010

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girl dont even listen to them or pay attention to the looks.most of them probabbly had children young too...hey my daughter is 14mnths...and im about to turn 19 yrs old...i love her juss at much as i would if i was older!

Jess - posted on 06/06/2010

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i know what u mean! i was 16 when i had my daughter, 18 when my son was born and am due in 2 weeks to have another little boy and i am now 20. having a child/ren young doesnt mean we are not capaible. infact i know for a fact i myself (along with alot of other younger mums) am alot more capible and comfortable with being a parent then other wemen who are 25-30 years old. it all depend son wether or not u are mentally ready for children. dont let what others say and or think worry you! Chin up and be proud! :D

[deleted account]

I competely agree! I am 20 with a 10 month old daughter and people are always asking me two questions: "How old are you?" and "Are you married?" I wish people wouldn't be so judgmental. Just because we're a little young doesn't mean we are incapable of raising a child.

Cassie - posted on 06/06/2010

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me to-but i don't worry cause at least we both know when we're that age we're still look good-take it as a complaiment

Faith - posted on 06/06/2010

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i had a bridal shower to go to and i ended up leaving. i have a 17 month old and i am 20 weeks pregnant. i will be 21 on june 21st. a girl in the bridal party kept asking me, how old i was, how far along am i, how old my son was. and would give me looks. I finally just picked my son up and went to the bride to be and told her i was leaving, that my son was not feeling well (which was not a lie, he was reacting to the MMR vaccine).
I feel i am almost 21, married to the father of both my children, and i am happy and a great mother to my son. I don't need to take crap from other people who don't know me. NO MOTHER OR FATHER DOES!!!
Good luck...and stick up for what you believe! i learned that i could do that when i was pregnant the first time...and now i do it ALL the time! Best of luck!

Ashley - posted on 06/06/2010

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19 - 20 is a very normal age to be a parent... very odd that you get weird looks and not so nice comments.

Kymberly - posted on 06/06/2010

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I was 19 when my daughter was born and now she's 8 months and I'm 20. I chose to have her young because 1. I'm married 2. we have a house 3. we are financally capable and 4. I want to be able to enjoy our children and see them grow up before I die like a lot of older moms are going to miss out on.
Don't take it to heart, they have no idea how you are around your children and are in NO place to judge you. :)

Becky - posted on 06/06/2010

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im 15 i got pregnant when i was 14 and the looks i got were bad but at the end of the day i love my baby an nothing anyone can say wll stop that just egnor them anbd forget it! there jut jealose!

Kirsty - posted on 06/06/2010

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I had my daughter when i was 17 & just had another at 19, i dont get any looks/ words being said anymore but alot of people had words 2 say when i was pregnant at 16. dont let them get 2 u ur betta than them! :) x

Jade - posted on 06/06/2010

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i was 16 when i was pregnant had my son when i was 17.. i have lived with the father since the day he was born & were still together now... im 18 and my son is 7months.. we are very happy, i love my son very much and could not imagine life without him.. i get looks all the time but i dont care because ive got my little boy and he is the most happy, smiley baby ever so we must be doing something right!!!! the ones that give me dirty looks are usually old ladies, but they probably had their children young...

Heather - posted on 06/06/2010

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I'm 19 and have a 9-mo old son. Happily, I've never really gotten any looks like that or anything. But around the areas I live in Illinois, I've seen girls walking around in middle school that were pregnant. So people around those areas aren't too shocked by it or even care. I live in a different city now bout 30 mins away that's much friendlier and not like that other city at all.
But anyway, I think it's good to have kids somewhat young. We'll be able to have a better and closer connection to our kids. And we'll definately have more energy and for a longer period of time to be able to keep up with and play with our kids unlike older parents.
Age doesn't define how good of a parent you'll be. :)

Jade - posted on 06/06/2010

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i was 15 when i was pregnant and 15 when he was born as he was 3 months early and i got looks all the time i get told i look older and act older then i am all the time but even say that if i look older then i am i was still get those looks im 17 now with my almost 2 yo son and planning on having another in the near future , but dont listen or even pay attention to what people say or how they look at you i understand that is hard but its not like your the only one out there and they need to realise that and the fact that the world has changed since they were our ages.

Megan - posted on 06/05/2010

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I get it but ignore it. I am 24 and look like I am maybe 18 [I still get I.D'd] and my fiance is 25 and actually looks 25 so I can just imagine what people think when we go out with our little girl who is almost 2.
I am used to it though and I just think about how I am aging better then those rude people who stare! At least when I am 50 if things stay the same I will only look like I am in my 40's!!!
Just look at the positive side of things!

Amber - posted on 06/05/2010

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I get that from a ton of people, the cashier at the grocery store to my fiance's mother! We're both 21, not THAT young. I hate hearing that from people. Basically I hear "You don't know anything, you made a terrible decision, you'll be a bad parent." So sad that people could ever think that, especially when they know us. I look those people in the eyes and say "Im sorry you feel that way." then stare at them blankly or walk away. I hope they feel like dirt cos they sure make me feel like dirt when they say such horrible things.

Rachel - posted on 06/05/2010

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yeah i get that on the odd occasion im 17 with a 3 week old but i just walk along with my head up as proud as anything with my little girl. you said it, wether your 16, 20 or even 40 you have the mothering instincts for your own little bundle so who gives what anyone said. one great peice of advice that someone gave me while i was pregnant is dont listen to what other people has to say, you do what you will.

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