2 year says NO all of the time.....and growls at me!

Ashley - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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his favorite word is NO. and i can honestly say that is the basic word that i tried to steer away from. i use the love and logic series on him and everything. i am very gentle and ferm when i need to be. i use a lot of positive words instead of negatives. I also try to use the 5 love languages with him like "positive words, touch, gifts, time with him and his toys, and keeping things easy for him to understand". I am also very consistant on the way i disapline him. He knows where he needs to sit exactly for time out. He just seems so aggressive and angry. i am not like that at all with him. at times i may show my frustration, but very rarely. Is is just a boy thing.....or is it him?

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Kids are smart!  They understand the power the word "No" carries...which is more than yes.   And it is a small, easily pronounced word too.



Balancing the power a child has seems to help us.  Give them the opportunity to make decisions and use the word "No."  For example, we decide what they eat and they decide how much, or if they want to wear the shoes on the wrong feet...so be it.



We also play a game we call "Sports Announcer"  Mom or Dad (or the Caretaker/Parent) gives a play by play of what the child  looks like/is doing as they express emotions (good or bad).  Example: "Sarah is saying "No" and has followed that with a very deep growl...and now she is stomping her feet.  She is mad, mad, mad. Wait, wait...she is sniffling, and wiping her face...and now she is...."



We have also used signs that increase vocabulary (the sign for "help" and "ball" when our 5 year old was 2 decreased everyones frustration).  And once our kiddo had more of a vocabulary, the tantrums became shorter and fewer and the signs we continued using just for fun.  Infact, we have started using them again as Big Brother is excited to teach them to Little Brother.



And then of course there are the days, like Mary says, when we just scream right back!!

Mary - posted on 04/02/2009

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Jessica, I wonder (and I don't know, so I'm not judging) if you spent time with your two year old one-on-one if you might see improvement. My 2 year old little girl is jealous of her big sister (14 year old) and will sometimes act out just to get my attention. Seems to be that whole thing of looking for attention, good or bad doesn't matter to her - she just wants my attention.



With 3 I'm sure this will take some planning on your part if you feel it might help.



Good luck!



BTW - My 2 year old is yelling "No" and has had a personality change in the last few months. We've not changed the way we're being with her, and she's not mimicking our behavior ('cause I've stricken the word "No!" from our vocabulary in preparation for this stage). Doesn't seem to matter. 2 is 2 is 2. Psychologically they're going to be exactly the way they're supposed to be. No matter what we do. That gives me solice on the days when I want to sit and scream right back at her! : )

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2009

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i am having the same problem with my 2 year old. She hits, spits, yells, yells NO, she pushes and hits her 4 year old sister. My oldest daughter was the completely different not a mean bone in her body. She is my tom boy. i would love for her to have a little more respect for me but i just don't know if it's terrible 2's or if this is how she is going to be, her being mean and nasty. she has 3 month old little brother and she is so jealous of him. it's gotten worse since he was born

Kimberly - posted on 03/04/2009

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I am having the same problem with my 2 year old daughter. She is a very big bully to my 6 year old. I can not find anything that works to get her to be not so aggresive or mean. She screams and growls at me and hits. My older daughter was never that way so this is a new experience for me.

Monica - posted on 03/03/2009

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i just donot respond by it and soon they stop becasue they canot get they way

Mary - posted on 02/14/2009

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It is just a boy thing. I have a very headstrong 23 month old daughter, but I have lots of friends with boys, both younger and older. I've spent countless hours gearing up for the terrible twos and how I was going to handle them with my daughter.



My suggestion - just keep loving him. I know he's a great little man. You are trying so hard and giving him a lot of patience already. Just continue to do that and please don't beat yourself up. His aggression or whatever shows up throughout his terrible twos is not because you did something wrong as a mom. It's his journey through the terrible twos. You just ride out the storm and keep doing what you're doing. Any mom who has done the research you've done and is putting such great tools into play will see successful results. You just have to let him get through this patch.



I would also ask you to recall (or go do research if you've not dug into this area of learning) that based on our psychological progression through childhood he is exactly where he's supposed to be. So, from that standpoint - you're doing a great job because he's right on schedule! Keep the patience and love pouring over him!



I'm not going to tell you good luck. My wish for you is to find patience when you feel like you've run out!

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