returning your adopted child??

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

I have a neighbor that does TFC like us. They adopted a 12 year old girl with issues (of course) 4 years ago. They had also adopted their oldest son, who moved away on his 18th birthday and never looked back. While talking to her yesterday, I found out that they put the girl into a group home because she was acting out. This girl was a hard worker and very nice, though a little goofy. That couple believes that hard work is what helps these kids, and they work these kids. The mom mentioned in our conversation that the girl, who's only 17, has a year left "in the system" until she ages out then will have to live on the streets if she doesn't get her act together.

My question is this... do you think that once a child is adopted they can/should be returned to the system if the parents can't/don't want them anymore?

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Foster - posted on 01/24/2015

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ALL I CAN SAY IF YOU HAVE NOT WALK THE WALK THERE'S REALLY NOTHING YOU CAN SAY. NOT HAVING AUTHORITY IN YOUR HOME MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. TECHNICALLY CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE TURNED BACK TO THE SYSTEM BUT WHEN THERE'S NO WAY OUT THAT SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY WAY.

Foster - posted on 01/19/2015

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I'm a mom that had to do the same thing returned a adopted child back to the system, with that being said I had to walk the walk for 11 years and refused to let the system run my household if I'm the mom then allow me to be the mom. The system is out as long as everything is running smoothly, but when things change the system gives that child to much power not in my home maybe yours. I took time out of my life to love and care for someone else and when things aren't going there way have the right to report my business??????PRAYER NEEDS TO RETURNED TO SCHOOLS AND PARENTS NEEDS TO HAVE RIGHTS WHEN RAISING CHILDREN

Kathy - posted on 01/11/2011

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1. You can't just "put" a child into a Group Home. The child must demonstate consistant behavioral or saftey issues for the state to take them into one of their "Group Homes" I am sure this Mom did all she could and did not make this decission all by herself for this child to have to leave the home. can/should be.. yes if that is what is the best care the child can receive.. can't/don't want them is so very harsh/cruel when you have NO CLUE to this family daily life has been going through for the child and the parent!

Lynn - posted on 08/09/2009

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Adopted is as if I physicially gave birth! FOREVER! Did they forget this?

Absolutely no child should be returned... EVER! This makes my tummy ill just thinking about it. My 19 year old son can be a handful, but never, ever do I or ever did I want to send him away from us. It's fight to the death here... these kids always need us. How can anyone even think for one moment of giving up? I reassure my boys every single day I will always be here for them, even 10, 20+ years down the road. Wow it sure would be hard to see your neighbor every day knowing this. Keep me posted.

[deleted account]

unfortunately I am not kidding. Chuck would like to find her and take her in ourself, but we don't have the room.

Amanda - posted on 08/08/2009

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wait a second, isn't she legally adopted? If a child is legally adopted, they are not "in the system" anymore. Right? Man you have got to be kidding me!

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