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who am I? A mother who loves, totally.

Debbi - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a mother, step-mother, foster mother, adoptive mother, and grandmother. Between my husband and myself (we've been together for 20 years), we have 10 children and soon to be 13 grandchildren. We have been therapeutic foster parents for the last 7 years, and in that time have had 12 foster children in our home, all of which have been abused. I enjoy COM, but at times I have been made to feel "wrong" for the feelings I have concerning the challenges I face as a TFP. And there are many. I hope by starting this site, I can support others who chose this family life style, and they can support me.

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Debbi - posted on 08/02/2009

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Thank you Lynnn for responding. yes our living and loving with these children can be very stressful. especially when I meet other people who don't understand the struggles we face and just feel that we must not be doing (or feeling) it right. I'll keep your boys in my prayers. And you're right, this is not reflective of you and your husband. When a child (young adult) suffers from PTSD, every new change and milestone can be very scary. Keep your chin up.

Lynn - posted on 08/02/2009

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Debbi, thank you for starting this site! My boys are 19 (adopted age 12) and 13 (adopted at age 8). It's been a rough road at times, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Right now we are struggling with ptsd in our oldest son. It's been a very tough year and a half for him starting with senior year, graduation, and last year for college. Each and every opportunity earned or handed to him he has sabbotaged in his own way so not to succeed. My husband and I have finally figured out it has nothing to do with us and isn't our failure(s) in helping him. He has to want it and feel the want for himself and realize he has the greatest potential to succeed. Without his own buy-in to his current opportunities, he'll continue to struggle each and every day. Counseling is helping, but we've seen this before. I fear he'll lose his progress and the self-sabbotage. I really want to believe this time he gets it and can really take positive steps to a fabulous future as an elementary teacher, his college major. He wants to make a difference in the world, and I know he can do it! He wants to make a difference in children's lives. I know he would make an outstanding teacher!



I look forward to this group and hope for welcomed advice and support in both the giving and receiving ends.

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