13 month old temper tantrums

Nikki - posted on 05/07/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I have a 13 month old bby girl and recently she has decided to throw temper tantrums for an hour at a time almost everyday. i have tried the bottle, food, toys and picking her up but all she does is bash her head into walls and throw her body on to the floor and kick and scream. Took her to the doctor and nothing is wrong according to them its just her being a girl. Does anybody else have this problem? If you do how do you handle it? I have a 6 year old boy as well and when my daughter throws her fits I get frustrated and take it out on him which isnt fair. I dont know what to do. Please help me

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Lisbeth - posted on 05/08/2010

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try to get your son to ignore her too tell him it is a game a secret game just for the two of you to see who can ignore her better and if he "win" give him a prize like a candy or a sticker.

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Ceese - posted on 07/25/2014

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Yes! Mine is doing the same exact thing. Funny thing at this very moment I type this I am listening to Patience by Guns and Roses. You think that God is trying to help us out?

Casey - posted on 05/18/2010

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my girl started them around that age also, though not that bad, hers are usually set off by us saying no to her for something she knows she shouldnt be doing anyway, she gets over it reasonably fast though, but she also does the hitting thing specially to her big bother who is 6, i kept being told its terrible twos and shes going through that earlier i agree with the other mums, you and your son need to just completely ignore her even shut the door so shes not so loud also my girl is not 19 months old and is back to having day naps again which she had stoped around 13months old and is so much better behaved, is your girl having naps still if not maybe she does need one just to reboot her bats.

Jackie - posted on 05/16/2010

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My little girl does that too. Shes the same age...we cant her into restaurants any more because she's just not happy.( wont eat, wont play nice, throws everything on the floor, screams, crys) Shes fine in the car and anywhere in a shopping cart but just not in a restaurant. At home if you take something away from her shes throws the same tantrums. Throws her head back.....screams and kicks....the only way we handle it without giving in is trying to find something else to catch her attention or just leave her alone and let her fight it out. Most of the time it is just leaving her alone to stop on her own. Don't know if this helps but you are not alone!

Catherine - posted on 05/13/2010

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We have 4 girls, (9, 8, 6 & 3). All of them started tantrums at around that age. The best at it was the eldest - she could keep it up for up to 2 hours at a time, and still come out grumpy. When they are in 'meltdown' like that, we tell them to 'take it to their room, and come back out when they are calm.'

We have their rooms set up fairly basically, the vast majority of toys live in the family room, as do all computers and T.V.'s, so their rooms are a dressing, sleeping and quiet place.
By using this strategy, by around 3 years old, all of them have known the drill and take themselves (screaming) off to their room without having to be told. Eventually they learn to control themselves in order to be allowed to stay in the public area.
I do think frustration is a huge factor.

My 3rd daughter spoke very early, and most parents would be amazied at how complex the ideas are that they are trying to convey when all most of them can do is point, and maybe say " 'ook Mummy" or "dat". They may well be trying to get you to explain why the middle of the flower is a different colour (for example), rather than just pointing to it, or wanting it named, as we generally assume.

Shannon - posted on 05/13/2010

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your feeding into her bad behaviour with treats and soothing items. My daughter threw one once...in a shopping center... I ignored it and she never did again. maybe I was lucky

Kristen - posted on 05/13/2010

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Thanks Katherine for mentioning The Happiest Toddler on the Block Book! Although the book is great for extra insights and tips, many parents we have heard from find that learning these slightly "weird" techniques is easiest when they watch the Happiest Toddler DVD. Most say they noticed a decrease in tantrums in just days and the level of cooperation and patience (even in easy kids) increased dramatically!

Watching how to do The Happiest Toddler techniques is a big help because, like with The Happiest Baby DVD, these techniques are totally visual. (Imagine trying to learn how to tie your shoe laces from a book!).

If you want to see some fun excerpts and demonstrations please visit www.happiestbaby.com.

Have fun!

Kristen Terry from The Happiest Baby

Katherine - posted on 05/11/2010

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Read the book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp.

Kids get frustrated with communication and without realizing it we often speak to them in ways that increase this frustration. This book helped us out so much with my now 3 year old.

Good luck!

Kathleen - posted on 05/10/2010

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all i can say is welcome to the early stages of the terriable 2s. my son started that at 13 months also. nothing to worry about, just dont let her get used to you caving every timme she throws a fit. if she continues to get everything handed to her just to get her to stop screaming, she will continue to use this as a tactic to get whatever she wants whenever she wants it. just let her scream it out. (make sure she cant hurt herself and start doing something else. eventually she will realize she is not getting attention for throwing her fits, then she will try harder to get in your view so that you can see her fit, then they will stpo. you just have to stay strong and let her know that you have more important htings to do than deal with fits. now, my son knows that fits are not the way to get what you want, the fits still happen, just nowhere near as often. when they start, i tell him this-mommy is going to do something (dishes, cook, laundry, etc) and i do not have time for your fit. when you decide to calm down, mommy is here to talk about why you are upset. talk to me when you are done. -- then i walk away and do whatever it was i told him i would do. i keep myself within eye shot for him. after about a month of being constant, the fits went from being over an hour to maybe 5 minutes. (if even that long). It feels really mean at first, but its the best way to get them to learn to self soothe. (this has also helped with the grocery store- my son started to think that if he started to cry in the store that i would just give in and give him whatever, but when he realized that if he cried, we would leave and then he gets nothing,. hope this helped!

Brandi - posted on 05/08/2010

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My sons did that around that age, too.
I don't have much to add, other than she's likely doing it out of frustration. She doesn't know how to communicate what she wants. Sometimes it's just frustration and bad mood, just like you and I. Maybe she does this often because she's entering that Terrible Two stage already. Especially if she is advanced in her development, that can come early for her.
As many folks have already said, I've found it was best to ignore it. It can be quite difficult to do at times, but it's worth it. I works for me that tantrums don't get my attention, neither positive nor negative. Giving my son attention teaches him that it's ok to talk to me that way. Or at least that's how I've gotten through stuff like this, by thinking of him doing this to me in the future.
If it helps, I've got two toddler boys who are 13 months apart. Sometimes I have moments of wanting to snatch myself bald! They are currently 2 and 3, and things are really starting to calm down in the tantrum department. (Knock on wood it stays that way!)
I know that doesn't probably help much, but I wish you the best of luck in getting through this phase with her.

Nikki - posted on 05/08/2010

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i would give her choices but she can be playing then all of a sudden starts into a fit. i dont knwo what sets her off or what stops them. but when she is in the middle of one she cant even hear me. I talk to her and she screams louder so im trying to let her be but it drives me crazy

Lena - posted on 05/08/2010

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Wow 13months and doing that maybe youy should talk to her as if she ia older give her delimas not orders maybe even choices 13 months you have too nip this behavior

Nikki - posted on 05/07/2010

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well I think usually I could handle it but I am currently 13 weeks pregnant so my patience is at an all time low most days, and I just put in my mp3 player and ignore her but it still goes on for an hour or so but then just abruptly stops and she is fine. When I do read my son books in another room during these fits he gets mad at her and yells back which in turns makes me more irritable. Im at my wits end. Thanks for the advice

Autum - posted on 05/07/2010

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I have a 13 month old as well and she isnt throwing fits quite that bad but she is getting an attitude and she can be playing and out of nowhere she just starts crying and throwing a fit. Lately she has really started testing my patience and doing things she knows she isnt supposed to do and then screams when I just tell her no...it is frustrating and I as well have tried everything but to me it seems like just completely ignoring her works the best. Now when my daughter starts it I will totally act like she isnt even there or leave the room and it has seemed to work, she calms down and starts playing again. Good luck!

Lisbeth - posted on 05/07/2010

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Maybe she is doing it to get attention why not try it and while she is throwing these temper tantrums do something fun with your boy like read a story really loud and tell your son to ignore them too

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