2 year old behavior issues

Tiannagittens - posted on 11/25/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter came home from grandma the other day and called me a fucking bitch in front of her so I addressed it and my mother said that she called her a bitch too and I know that that's a lie because I do not swear in front of my daughter. This is not the first time she has come home from being with her swearing. She once went beep beep and then said move you fucking bitch. As a background my relationship isn't good with my mother to begin with I use her mostly to have her in my daughters life but need help from you guys as to it's worth it or not and ways to have her stop. Disciplining my child doesn't work such as eye contact eye level talking and time out chair. I do not hit but when she comes home from a day with my mom she hits left and right. I'm afraid she'll go to daycare and say these things and dss will get involved. Please help

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Tiannagittens - posted on 11/28/2016

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We have had the talk thanks for the responses. I do discipline her that way sometimes it works and others I tend to find a nap is necessary.

Michelle - posted on 11/25/2016

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I have a very strained relationship with my Mother and only really keep in contact with her for my children. She is the only Grandparent they have in the same country!
I have never relied on my Mother having my children regularly. I pretty much raised my children on my own as it was my choice to have children so they are my responsibility.
My oldest is 15 and he has probably spent a total of 10 days with my Mother in his whole life!!!!! She also doesn't even offer to look after my children so it works for me.
Is there any way you can limit the time she is with your Mother? You know where the problem is and I would suggest cutting down on the time they spend together would help. I would also not leave your daughter with your Mother alone, visit together.
What Ev said is helpful in regards to discipline but it doesn't help with the cause.

Ev - posted on 11/25/2016

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So then what do you do for consequences for her?

She is old enough to understand simple things like:

It hurts when you hit me, stop it.
Those words are bad words and you need to stop using them.
If you can not stop hitting me then you will go to the naughty spot.

Just keep it simple when you do tell her why she should not do something.
Also be consistent with what you do. Doing it once or twice is not going to get her attention and she will keep doing it just because it gets her attention. As for example, placing her in the naughty spot for 2 minutes; if she gets up put her back but do not say a word after you tell her the first time why she goes there. She is going to push the limits and get up a lot. You need to continue to put her back until she gets the message that you are not going to put up with it.
When you tell her no about something, stick to it. Do not back down if she tosses a fit when she does not get her way. Actively ignoring her fit is the best thing you can do if at home; if you are out other places simply leave and if you have to carry her--that is part of it but she will learn quickly that you are not having it.
Praise her for the times she does the things you expect of her.
Rewards every now and again are fine but constantly will become to be an expected thing.
It is also time to talk to mom and tell her that you know your child does not get this language at home and if she can not follow your rules on discipline with your child or stop the language she will only get to see your child when you are with them.
Also if you do put her in daycare you are going to have to expect that there will be a transition that will take place--time to get used to new adults and kids. She won't be the only one hitting because there will be other kids that do this too. They have also more than likely heard kids swear as well. What you have to do is to tell them about these issues up front and where they started and why you removed her from that situation. They may be able to help you or suggest resources for extra help in getting your child to mind you and not talk that way. The only way DSS will get involved is if there is actual abuse, neglect, or signs of those things. I

I know this because I worked in preschools. I had kids that did all of those things even using the exact words your child is learning. I worked with parents on getting the kids to stop doing that but as for hitting that was a continued lesson on why we did not hit. Kids this age will hit for various reasons such as a toy being taken away, because they got told no, someone got in their space, to get across what they can not say in words and other various reasons. Your child is normal in that.

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