5 Year old pooping in underwear

Chrissie - posted on 03/13/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I have a 5 year old little girl who absolutly refuses to poop on the potty. She says she is afraid. Mind you I am in the process of registrating her for Kindergarten. When she goes in her pants she will go to the bathroom and change herself. I have tried the taking toys away. I told her for every time she pooped in her pants I put a toy in the garbage bag. That stopped working. She wanted to give it a hug, a kiss and a high five bye befoer she put it in the bag. She likes to clean the bathroom so that is not punishment either. What more can I do? Doctors have said that we are not to ackowledge her and she will soon figure it out. They told us that older kids are the same way. really? I do not want to do this the rest of my life. Any one have any suggestions that will work? Thanks

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Elizabeth - posted on 12/31/2011

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Wait.....you did what??? You told her friends? Let me get this right..you thought that HUMILIATING your daughter into pooping was the right thing to do??

Toni how would you feel if someone told all your friends about your poop issues? Her friends are at an age that they will remember this..and may not be her friends when they get into the higher grades. They can use this against her to humiliate her more.

This is information that you should keep at home.

Deepti - posted on 03/14/2011

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u can tell her that she is about to join school and make new friends and that her friends do not do it like the way she does..also if she wants to enjoy appreciation and gifts from her teacher and friends then she should stop this... this may help you!!

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I am so frustrated! My 5yo daughter who is already in her second year of preschool. She is so stubborn and I don't know what else to do. She poops at night so her logic (which she told me) is that she doesn't need to go during school time. I have told her friends,tried rewards,taken toys...everything I can think of! Help!!!!!!!

Melanie - posted on 03/25/2011

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I'm sorry to say there are other children with this issue. My son is one of them. What I find works the best is keeping on top of them. EVERY hour ask if they need to go and if they keep saying no then every third hour get them to sit on the potty and just "TRY". For my son, until about 4 months ago he didn't get the urge to go until is was almost too late. I had to watch him like a hawk. He would get really quiet and he would sit funny because he would try to hold it. He never even used to get cramps from not going.



When my son was your daughters age I remember asking my healthy families worker about the problem and she said that some kids won't go in the potty because they are giving something up that they won't get back. LOL I always thought that was so funny but I guess it does happen. They don't want to lose their poop and watch it go bye bye LOL.The best thing you could do is do what I suggested and make a big deal out of it when she does use the potty. Lots of praise and love. Make her see that you are extremely happy when she does use the potty. and hopefully for you it stops. My son is almost 9 and still has accidents BUT they are just "accidents" now and not anything else.



Oh and one more thing. You can buy something called fibre sure it's a powder that you can put in ANYTHING. it has no flavour and will help her poop be softer. I give it to my son everyday and he goes to the bathroom every morning before his shower.

Melanie - posted on 03/25/2011

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I'm sorry to say there are other children with this issue. My son is one of them. What I find works the best is keeping on top of them. EVERY hour ask if they need to go and if they keep saying no then every third hour get them to sit on the potty and just "TRY". For my son, until about 4 months ago he didn't get the urge to go until is was almost too late. I had to watch him like a hawk. He would get really quiet and he would sit funny because he would try to hold it. He never even used to get cramps from not going.

When my son was your daughters age I remember asking my healthy families worker about the problem and she said that some kids won't go in the potty because they are giving something up that they won't get back. LOL I always thought that was so funny but I guess it does happen. They don't want to lose their poop and watch it go bye bye LOL.The best thing you could do is do what I suggested and make a big deal out of it when she does use the potty. Lots of praise and love. Make her see that you are extremely happy when she does use the potty. and hopefully for you it stops. My son is almost 9 and still has accidents BUT they are just "accidents" now and not anything else.

Pamela - posted on 03/24/2011

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Have to reply because I went through the same thing. My pediatrician told me to have my son sit on the toilet after breakfast every day and tell him to poop. He would pitch a big fit at first, but I told him I knew he wasn't trying as long as he was in there throwing a fit. It was like a miracle. I would just be firm and tell him he could not get up until he pooped. We called it "toilet time." If 15 minutes or so went by I would let him get up if he said he didn't have to go. At first I would make him sit there after every meal until he went. Anyway, don't let it get worse. Nip it in the bud now! I made sure I didn't make it seem like a punishment and I always gave him lots of hugs and kisses when he did go. He got to be so proud that he was the "boss of his body." Now he goes whenever he pleases! Yippee!!!

Good luck!

Lily - posted on 03/22/2011

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I'm wondering if you might try a reward for pooping on the potty instead of a punishment for doing it in her pants. You know, think back to when she first potty trained with the charts, stickers, canides, $1 toys, etc. Maybe a treat everytime she does it plus a special outing if she can keep it out of her pants for a designated time period, say 2 weeks or something like that. She's a big girl now so it might have to be a pretty big reward, but worth it so you can address this problem and move on.

Jenn - posted on 03/20/2011

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OMG, I feel your pain...I have the EXACT same problem with my four year old son, and he is also starting kindergarten in September. He was doing great with potty training then he got pretty constipated for a few days and it hurt him to poop, since then he WILL NOT go near the potty when he is pooping. He will pee no problem, but when he poops, he stands up in the corner all tense and does not want to be touched, he does not want to sit down on anything, let alone a potty. I have tried everything, rewards, charts, punishment, ...I have resorted to putting a pull up on him because i am tired of cleaning poo up. I do NOT want my child starting school in a diaper..It is good to know I am not alone in my struggles...Feel free to message me if you want..I actually just posted about this topic on my blog about my son, check it out at http://www.moonstruckmama.wordpress.com/

If you get any good suggestions please pass them on and I will do the same! Take care!

Megan - posted on 03/19/2011

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hi my niece did it up till she was 6 years old and then a week be4 then when on hoilday my sister said to her if u dont poop in ur pants u can come on hoilday if not u stay with ur gran and that worked and shes 8 now and hasnt done it since

Chrissie - posted on 03/19/2011

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Really 12?? I am not sure if I can handle that long. She used to be on Miralax everyday when she was younger to help soften it. She does go pretty good now just in her pants. I will be patient it just gets frustrating when she is 5 and should know better by now. Other people said it will take that one time to do it in school and be embarassed...time will tell. I will have one big victory party when it happens!!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/17/2011

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I have a cousin that did this until 12 years old. I don't know that punishment is a way to deal with it. I know it can be frustrating, we dealt with it with our oldest daughter who is now almost 5 years old ..it was a good year where she was afraid to go anywhere other than her pants. She would hold it back to the point that it would hurt when she finally went because a week had passed. The pediatrician prescribed a stool softener peg-3350 (over the counter meds) which we used for about 5 months to train her to see that it didn't have to hurt. I don't know if she is holding it back ..but if she is that is not a good thing..it stretches out the intestine and needs to be dealt with.



It's worth noting that we thought it would NEVER end and we were stressing because school was going to start soon at the time. It did correct itself before school started with the help of the peg 3350

Chrissie - posted on 03/15/2011

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I have explained to her that she cannot go to school if she poops in her underwear but she is not worried. No one really knows that she poops her underwear for she does it at home. She will not go in public. She does pee and has been for a long time...for some reason pooping is a full blown fight and temper tantrum. The Dr said she must have had a time when it hurt her and so she thinks all poop will hurt. She will clean her self and throw the underwear away....just not understanding

Brianne - posted on 03/14/2011

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Is she excited about kindergarden? The old you can't go to school if you poop in your pants trick worked on my little brother. Do you throw the inderwear away when she poops in them? That's what I do with my 3 year old, worked really well! Or maybe make her wash them out? If she is scared, find out why. If she pees on the potty she must not be scared of the toilet.

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