A mom struggling with toddler tantrum

Eva - posted on 06/28/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone,

I am a working mother with a little boy just turn 2. Since early this year, we start to experience his temper tantrum. It has been 6 months, sometimes it gets better, but most of the time, we have to live with him. Honestly I am so tired.

I work in financial industry. Although my job is very demanding and stressful, I manage to request flexible working hours from 6AM to 4PM. So I usually come home at around 5PM. I usually handle his dinner, bath and bedtime since my husband goes home relatively late. Although my schedule is very tight, I usually try my best finishing my work so I can go home in time to take him to the park. You can see how busy my life style is. I was always happy and felt it's rewarding when seeing my son's smile.

However, starting a few months ago after he turn 18 months, he starts his temper tantrums. Things start changing a little bit. I understand this is part of the development process. Almost everyone goes through this process. I am now dreadful and do not look forward to going home. I feel guilty and sad. I miss my boy so much at work but I am also tired of his throwing fits. I often wonder what I do wrong. I follow the advices I can find from internet. I read a lot of books. Consult my pediatrician. Everyone seems to be relaxed about this but I feel living with him is a torturing rather than enjoyment. I am so unhappy now but I still love him so much.

Is there anyone sharing the same thought? Do you not feel like going home because of your kids' tantrum? How do you resolve your stress?

Thank you for reading... and apologize for long and unorganized post.

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4 Comments

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Heather - posted on 09/04/2012

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I'd have to be able to LEAVE home in order to not want to go home to it...lol but I understand the pressure.



He's going through the toddler tudes, and it will be there until he's a teenager. Then it'll be him in his room 24/7, pretending he doesn't know you, and sporting his ipod 24/7. :) It's hard to enjoy our kids when it's constant stress, and that's normal. I was in the Army National Guard before my son was born and didn't get out until two years after he was born, his father is a sailor and is gone about 98% of the time at sea so I've been a full time SAHM since day one. If you can get a break to go do something strictly for mommy, I highly suggest it. Maybe get a manicure once a week or get a kid-free coffee date with the girls to decompress. You might just need a break from the tantrums, and that's beyond reasonable to ask for.



Have mommy timeouts. They are like the ones you give kids, except instead of kiddo going into the corner, mommy takes a few minutes for herself. Get noise canceling headphones if you need to. Plug in an ipod, sit down and look at a funny website video or two, sip some coffee (again, wear noise canceling headphones if necessary, nobody will judge you), etc. It's just for a couple minutes so no excuses! He can go play for a few minutes in his room, or if you have a yard with a fence, I'd put a bouncy ball out there and let him go crazy. During daylight of course.



Take him out of the house for one on one time if you can, whenever you can. It'll help you build a positive vibe with him again. My son drives me completely batty (picture flinging yourself off the cliff every minute of the day, every day of the year), but when I see him at bedtime pulling his covers up to his chin and snuggles them, it makes it all worth it. Boys are a handful for sure.

Bethany - posted on 06/29/2012

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oh you a sooooooooo not alone, since the age of 18 or 19 mths my "darling" son whos coming up 29 mths has hit the terrible twos.....
if i say no he cries and whines or just out right hits punches and screams!!! i work mon thru thurs mon and tues hes at daycare and as their policy's say its postitve re inforcement only those nights are really hard as he acts out whenever we say no!
wed my mum has him and its not to bad but thurs nyts are the worst my inlaws have him, if nanna is there then he can deal with nos but if papa has him most of the day (usually happens as its mil shopping and ceo board day) papa helicpoter parents and follows him around dustbuster intow!!! i have him fridays and i find it very hard to get him to follow my directions ie go play in your toy room or such but weekends he redeems himself usually cos daddy is home!
im told its a phase and it will pass but im yet to see the light at the other end!!!
just remember there is so many mums going thru it u just need to keep up the rules and dont take no shit from them!!!!!

Brittney - posted on 06/28/2012

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Offer choices...like 'do you want to wear the orange pajamas or the blue ones?' and hold them up for him to decide, Offer 2-3 choices for dinner/snack...etc. this gives him the freedom to choose and you get to choose too. (better than I want a cookie...no, you cant have a cookie, then a tantrum starts). Limit how often you say no, some things don't need to be told no, instead try directing the attention to something else. With the example of the cookie, instead of saying 'no, you cant have the cookie', offer an apple. I hope this helps! and a way to de-stress..try taking a relaxing bath at the end of the day. Your son is fed, clean, and sleeping, so you can take a nice long, relaxing bath (or shower if you prefer)

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