Anyone have tips for disciplining toddlers?

Kd - posted on 09/25/2011

Take things away, start by sitting next to her and eating a cookie, and let her know it would have been hers but she did not listen. Tell her you will not take her where she likes to go unless she behaves. IF you don't get this under control now you will pay for it later and in the long run she will respect you!

Ann - posted on 09/25/2011

I wouldn't hit, she'll do that to other children & then you'll have more problems.
At this age I'd give her 1 warning then remove her from the situation & interest her in another activity.
As to hitting I'd sternly say "No hit Mommy."
Also, expect this. It's her being independent. Let her have her way when it's not a big deal. Another is to let her choose between two items ex: this or that shirt.
Kirk Martin has a website called CelebrateCalm that a lot of mommies swear by in my area. I'm trying out his methods.
Hope some of this helps.

Angela - posted on 09/21/2011

This is a complicated question because she is doing exaclty what she is suppose to be doing developmently. She is suppose to be testing limits and exploring the world, which includes climbing. Unfortunately this also tries our patience. Most kids at this age stink at "listening." MY son is no exception. At 19 months I used the crib but I also had to be careful at what I expected of him. Being proactive helps. What is she climbing? Can you block it some how? Thinking about how to prevent the conflicts is the sure way to win. Praising her good behavior also encourages it to happen. Giving lots of attention to the bad behavior increases it. They also take their clues from us. If we hit to express our frustrations they will do the same. Then you have a whole new battle. The first few times you use the crib, time out spot or take away a favorite toy she will throw a fit... oh well. Walk away and let her see that her fits do not control you. I have seen a family where the fits run the house because the parents spend so much time trying to get them to stop. As long as she is safe... ignore her tantrums. She will then learn that you have control and dont dance to her tune. Pick your battles and get support when really frustrated. You will make it through toddlerhood. And if you do it with consistently and being the boss you should be good until she is a teen :)

Moody - posted on 09/19/2011

My daughter is 3 now, and generally very good but sometimes she tries pushing the boundaries and testing the waters. Other times she just gets so caught up in what she is doing that she ignores me. I started with disciplien when she was 10 months. I use positive reinforcement mostly and talking to her as I go through the discipline process. I find time-in's are best to give them something to miss when I need a time away from her. I sometimes use kind ignoring when she whines and nags and I find being clear about what will happen if she doesn't do as she is instructed works well. For example, if she doesn't want to pack away her toys I tell her what will happen if she doesn't pack them away, I give her time to comply and a count down, and then I follow up by doing what I said I would. In the case of toys I tell her if I have to pack them away then I will take them away and she won't have them to play with tomorrow or the next day until she learns to pack them away herself.

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2011

This is actually a hard question because kids are so different and individual! What works well with one may not work at all for another.

In my house my daughter gets told twice and if I have to tell her a third time (third strike) she gets a time out in her room. This is not as fun as it might sound because she has a separate play space out in the living room so there are no toys in her room to play with. If she just takes the time out quietly she is in and out in a few minutes. If she throws a tantrum I shut the door and it remains shut until she calms down.

If she got the time out for not doing something (like not picking up her toys) then she is still required to do that chore when she comes out of a time out. If she still refuses then she gets a sharp swat on her butt. This has, actually, become more effective now that she's potty-trained because she doesn't have a diaper/pull-up padding her butt and protecting her anymore! Also she gets a countdown before I actually swat her and if she gets moving then she won't get the swat. I don't usually get to this point because the time out is, usually, enough but when I start counting she'll look at me, "Don't count!" and usually hop to whatever the chore was.

The biggest thing is consistency. Don't let her get away with something just because you're frustrated and unsure of what to do. The minute you do she knows she can win if she just makes you frustrated enough.

If she's still in a crib you could use that as a punishment of last resort. When she starts tearing apart the living room pick her up, put her in it and tell her you will come back and get her when she calms down. Check on her frequently but don't actually get her out of the crib until she has calmed down. Doesn't have to be a crib, any sort of space that will hold her and has no toys (and nothing she could hurt herself on) will do. When she does calm down, give her a hug and explain to her that she cannot act this way. She may be a bit young to fully understand but it sets up a good precedent for talking to her when something is wrong and after a few rounds of being in the crib she will attach the tantrum to being placed there stop.

Also, aside from punishments for bad behaviour make sure you're rewarding good bahaviour. Lot's of extra hugs and snuggles when she does something right and maybe a special treat when she learns how to do something new or if she does something nice just completely at random. I've also found that it helps to just, randomly, tell my daughter some days, "You know what, if you're a good girl today we'll go do (insert some favorite activity here) this afternoon." Then if they are good they get the reward and if they are bad they lose it. It helps them learn there are consequences for their actions.

Sumaiyah - posted on 09/13/2011

My son used to do the same. Fortunately a wise man, said to give them a choice. for example do you want the blue shoe with white stripes or the white shoe with blue stripes. It still your decision but you're making them feel important and that what they say matters. It seem all kids at this age seem to test if mom is the boss. I also don't respond when he is throwing a tantrum, I walk away and say mom needs a time out, or I turn my back and say I don't like that now. When he calms down, I give him a big hug and say I love you. He also responds to well done, or awesome baby, when he is doing something positive. It takes a few lessons before they learn that mom does not like to be disappointed or sad. It was rather exhausting at first, and I ended up in tears when he was not looking... but now I stay calm and just don't respond to the tantrums. I go to my room or do something else likeTalking to the pets or his teddy bears about how good they are, I start huggin them, he used to watch me hug the pets and his teddy bears, so I would ask if he would like a hug too from us all. I would get him to hug all the pets and his teddy bears too. It distracts him from carrying on with the tantrum.When his dad gets home we report to his dad that he was a good boy because he got cross but then calmed down. His dad then gives him a hug for this too. We also encourage family members and friends to say well-done or not nice depending on the behaviour.

Alexis - posted on 03/04/2010

Yes timeouts are the way to go. We started timeouts a month ago with our 2.5 yr. old daughter and she understands very well what that means. I use the supernanny technique. You give them one warning and the second time they do it they go into their timeout spot (we have a different spot in every room) and they stay there for every minute to their age (example my daughter is two so she stays for two minutes). But if she gets up before her time is up I just sit her back in the spot until she stays for the whole two minutes. It really does work. After timeout I go over and get to her eye level and tell her she was put in timeout for throwing her toys and i don't want her to throw her toys, I ask for her to tell me she's sorry and then I get hugs and kisses. Now when I warn her and tell her if she does it again she will go into timeout she says "no timeout" and she doesn't do it again.

Emilie - posted on 03/04/2010

naughty step works really well for my 3year old but you need to stay so calm and speak quitely to her even if she cant hear you as she is screaming, its really inportant to show her youre not happy with her but not mad.i always say "alexia i'm not happy, time for the naughty step" give it a few mins until you feel youre ready to talk calm then explain why you are unhappy and tell her she should say sorry then quikly change the subject, say i love you and give her something to do or a fun task like washing up :) no-one said its easy being a mum as all children are different but good luck x x

Charlotte - posted on 03/03/2010

Time out works really well. I always make my 2 year old daughter sit on the floor right in front of me with her legs crossed and hands in her lap.. she gets two minutes of time out bc i believe time out time goes great with there age.. I started the time out thing when she was 14 months old and it works really really well. She listens to me and knows what not to do and now that she is 2 I have no big disipline problems with her. O' also when she was in time out and tried to move I would place her right back and cross her legs.

Jenny - posted on 02/24/2010

we use time outs, but we also sometimes will have him sit on his bed with no comfort things (binky, blankie, animals) that he usually sleeps with. He doesn't like that, and it usually gets his attention faster than just a timeout in the corner. :)

Jay - posted on 02/24/2010

My son does the same exact things. Swatting is butt and smacking his fingers doesnt work.. i hold him in my arms for a minute or so when he does something that i told him not to do. Even if he is kicking and crying, he sits with me till i say its ok to go. Good Luck :)

Jessica - posted on 02/24/2010

Believe it or not I have found that what works best for my daughter is a dirty look. She does not like it when mommy is disappointed in her so she stops what ever it is that she is doing. Then I will sit her down and talk to her about what she was doing and why she is not aloud to do that. It really seems to be the only way I can get her to listen. Good luck! :)

Sarah - posted on 02/24/2010

I like using time outs. You have to be consistant with whatever kind of discipline you use or it won't work. I have two 16 month olds and one 18 month old that I watch during the week. They are not good at knowing that when you are put in a time-out then you must stay in the spot. So what I do is I have them sit by me for their time-out. I don't allow them to sit on my lap, as that to me is cuddle time not a time-out. So they sit right beside me with no toys or toys they can reach. I have them sit there for 1 minute (they do not like this). Before their time starts I will tell them "no throwing" (or whatever they were doing). I will also state that again after their time out is done. It does not stop the behavior from ever happening again, but it does teach them that if they are not going to listen or are going to be naughty then they will have a time-out. They are learning that when I say "no" in a firm voice then that means "no". Not saying that they always stop on "no", but it is getting better.

Crystal - posted on 02/24/2010

Time out works, Or you can have her bring you her Favorite toy and tell her that she cant have it back until she can start to listen a little better and take it and put it up you have got to stick by your guns good luck