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Associates bedtime with mum only

Lesley - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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61

Hi there!



I have a 16 month old daughter who only associates bedtime with mummy. I have been the one that puts her to bed at night and for naps since birth. My husband works till 9pm Monday to Friday and till 8pm on Saturdays. My daughter is in bed by 8pm so it is me that does it.



Problem is, when she wakes up from her sleep unexpectedly, she cries. One of us will go to her to calm her and resettle her, however, she makes a HUGE fuss if it's daddy that goes in and not mummy. If we persist a bit, she gets so upset, it takes forever to get her back to sleep. Which I spend doing all over again!



She is still breastfed (and used to nurse to sleep but now I nurse her till she's almost asleep and put her in her crib) and even though she eats solids as well, again, she associates eating with just mummy. She's getting better with eating with just daddy. I just wish she would let daddy put her to sleep too! She also never takes a bottle with my milk - never has in all 16 months of life.



I am going out of the country for an interview in a few weeks and am very nervous about it as I will go alone. My husband will have to figure out how to get her to sleep without me. I'm hoping since I'm not there, it won't be too bad.



Anyone have any ideas on what we can do to help her understand that sometimes, daddy puts me to sleep? Just remember, she is in bed BEFORE daddy comes home from work 6 days out of 7. Sundays we have let daddy have a go but it never works. She gets so worked up and upset, it takes me hours to calm her down and get her to sleep!! Then I'm ready to go too!



I don't have family here for support either - they live in Canada and we live in Greece.



Thanks for your help!



xox

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2 Comments

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Lesley - posted on 02/22/2010

203

61

Unfortunately, I don't really have a choice since her bedtime is before daddy gets home from work. That's the way the cookie crumbles. She is quite a sensitive child and really gets upset. Her dr has commented that we have to be careful of that as she can make herself quite sick.

I'm just at a loss of what to do. I won't change her bedtime to suit daddy's hours as even though he finishes at 9pm, he doesn't get home till 9:45pm on some nights.

Kristen - posted on 02/22/2010

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15

Ah yes, the age old issue with babies....basically, its not going to change if you keep jumping in and being the hero. I know it sounds harsh but it really is true. She will not respond to daddy if she knows she doesn'nt have to. I'm sure it'll be rough when you first leave, but I'm sure that it'll get better. It may take awhile, but it'll pay off to be consistent. For us, if our son was being difficult with one of us, we left the room for a few minutes and would use a sort of "ferber" method on him. This way they see that whats there is what they'll get.

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