at what age do you take away the binky,and why even take it away,i mean is it really a problem?

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[deleted account]

My son is 20 months and we are aiming to have his paci gone by the time he's 2. His pediatrician said that it needs to be gone by age 2 or it will cause dental problems, no matter how soft the silicone is. He said it will cause his teeth to be misalligned and it can also cause him to have speach problems. The only reason I'm allowing him to keep it until 2 is because he never took to anything else for a comfort item. He doesn't have a teddy that he prefers or a blanket or anything like that. I'm working on replacing the paci with a stuffed bear that his grandpa gave him. I also don't take it out in public with us and he only gets it for naps and bed time. No exceptions. I always have the paci, not him. When he is ready for a nap or for bed, I go get it. It is not something he has in his control. Maybe that's where you could start with your daughter. If she is the one in charge of her own pacis, then you need to take that control away from her. First of all, you NEED to know where they are at all times because they need to be cleaned every day. Second, once she no longer has the control, she may lose interest and find something else to "be in charge of". I like the paci fairy idea but I don't think my son would understand that yet so I plan on just going cold turkey, which will be no fun, I'm sure. I'm sure he'll be unhappy for a few days or so but as his mother it's my job to do what's best for him, even if he doesn't like it sometimes. Good luck :)

Kim - posted on 06/23/2009

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Whatever, I don't judge other peoples parenting choices unless they are abusing their kids.. As far as the dental /speech problems I was told by our pediatric dentist that as long as my son only used the orthodontic kind that he would be fine. He is almost 3 and still uses it to sleep. If it makes him happy and comforts him I am fine with it. He will get rid of them when he is ready. He mainly uses them to play with in bed. I hear him talking to them at night. Yes he has a very active imagination.

Shannon - posted on 06/22/2009

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Quoting Traci:

  My first daughter used it only at bedtime for a few months after she turned one, but she didn't have it any longer than 18 months of age and NEVER out of her bedroom. .



 



My son only ever had his in bed also - and in the car if we were taking a long car trip and I wanted him to sleep.



 



But I also think it is up to each mother what you decide after you have the facts - check with the doctor about teeth and speech and such.

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BeeJay - posted on 03/02/2012

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My daughter quit hers at 13 months. I tried many times before that but couldnt stand to listen to her cry for it. When I would go to her room when she woke from a nap she always threw her paci at me and giggled. One day when she was 13 months, I didnt catch it and it rolled off somewhere. I told her it was lost, gone. She cried once and that was it.

Caroline - posted on 03/02/2012

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You don't have to take a pacifier away if you don't want to. Then again you don't have to get them out of diapers if you don't want to. Think about it and you don't have to stop them from touching a hot stove if you don't want to.

Point is, when you are a parent it is you responsibility to teach how to grow up.

Who gave them a BINKY to begin with? It's a soothing device for a very limited time and they need age appropriate skills to soothe themselves.

Meditation can be used for most all ages, for a variety of issues,sleeping, anger, loneliness, ET-cetera.

There are numerous things for you to teach your child. You are EXTREMELY BLESSED to have your child, now grow up and do right by them.

Amanda - posted on 06/26/2009

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lots of people dont know this but keeping a passie lets added bacteria stay on the back of the teeth. we recently had a friend have their daughter's front teeth capped because keeping her passie rotted the back of the front teeth and no one noticed it because who looks at the back of your front teeth. it also cuts down on their willingness to talk. our nephew kept his for the first two years and has a very limited vocabulary at three cause he never took it out long enough to learn how to talk.

Jewel - posted on 06/25/2009

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Dentist would say to take it away right when they start getting a couple of teeth, my kids had them but only used them rarely and then I took them away at around 10 months. If you let your kids use them for too long they could get buck teeth or their teeth could grow in crooked and other things.

Lauren - posted on 06/24/2009

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it is bad for there teeth down the road but don't force her to get rid of it. she will stop using it when she is ready.

Monica - posted on 06/23/2009

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I am having the same problem with my 1 year old. I never wanted her to have a pacifier, but that seemed the only thing that could comfort her. She was also a breastfed baby, so she needed that extra sucking. Now that she is one she knows what it is, and asks for it. She even wakes up in the middle of the night to look for it, which makes it so much harder to take it away. The problem with it is that it is bad for teeth, and for speech development (if they are allowed to have a pacifier with them all day, they cannot learn to properly pronounce words.) I started to gradually take it away since she turned one. She now only takes it for naps and bedtime. She is not allowed to have it throughout the day at all.

Traci - posted on 06/22/2009

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Well, since you asked....my honest opinion is that I think it is terrible when I go shopping and see a 2 year old with a pacifier. It looks ridiculous. I mean, if a kid can talk, they shouldn't have a pacifier!!! It's somewhat of a pet peeve of mine. I took my kids' away after they turned one. My first daughter used it only at bedtime for a few months after she turned one, but she didn't have it any longer than 18 months of age and NEVER out of her bedroom. To me, the only reason to let your child have one any longer than that would be because the parent doesn't feel like dealing with the crying for a few days. But the longer you wait to take it away the harder it gets for the kid to let it go. You're only making it harder on your child by letting them have it.



All you do is throw the pacifiers in the trash and never buy them ever again. You may have to deal with a little crying for a couple of days, but it's well worth it-don't cave and go buy new ones! :)

Valerie - posted on 06/22/2009

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My daughter gave up on the paci @ 3 months when she got her first teeth. She quit all by herself. She's a lil odd ball though, everyone else I knew that started with one went with it for a while! My son (5.5 months) rarely takes it, unless he is chewing on it, or rubbing his gums with it. I'm sure once these teeth come in hes going to get rid of it.



Idk. My daughter never had any security object... She has a stuffed animal or 2 that she sleeps with but thats it. Nothing that HAS to be with her all the time. She never caught on to that stuff.



Binkys are really just bad for teeth and dentists will ALL have something to say about that. But they will also cause an issue for when/if she goes to preschool. Some teachers just will NOT deal with it. and the tantrums that may be thrown when getting dropped off without one are just a pain for everyone. The benefits (easy to calm her down) really don't outweigh the negatives. IMHO.



Good luck!

Shannon - posted on 06/21/2009

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We took our son's a month before he turned 2 and he was fine. However I decided to take then because I didn't want to deal with it when he was older and would argue back. He yelled, was mad, and then went right to sleep. (I switched him off a bottle to a sippy before he was 10 months old too, same reason, easier for me).

Basically the longer you let it go the harder it will be to get rid of, and that's my whole philosophy on it. When I see an older kid with a pacifier I think just that, "that is going to be tough to give up, that poor Mama." because that won't be a fun fight to go through.
(Same with a blanky, a bottle, or any other thing a kid can be attached to.)

Good Luck on whatever you decide.

[deleted account]

Excessive binky use can cause dental problems and inhibit speech.



My girls were totally mouthy babies. Didn't matter what was in their mouths, but they had to have something. We gradually weaned them down to just nap and bed (by around 18 months) and 3 weeks before turning 2 we took them away completely. They had a bit of adjusting at bedtime, but did fine... except they quit napping! Yikes!



My son has never taken a binky. I wished he would when he was really little cuz he would (and still will) only take my boob. He's an addict for sure. :)

Miranda - posted on 06/21/2009

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We just gradually took our away from our daughter. I tried cutting it down little by little (made sure there was nothing loose on itt). She also stopped wanting it herself. By a year, it was gone. I really didn't like the binky b/c she always dropped it, no matter where we were.

Kelly - posted on 06/20/2009

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It can cause there teeth to grow funny. That is what all the dentit I have meet have said. Plus I have abrother who when he was younger sucked his thumb all the time by the time he was 3 his teeth had a hole where thumb went. They just grew all funny even if you think they are baby teeth they will fall out it still can mess up permanent teeth. The baby teeth are guidline for the permanent ones. You should take binky away at the same time the bottle gets taken away that way you break habits all at the same time and dont have to hear all the fussing that accompanies both.

Erika - posted on 06/19/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

For one it's not good for their teeth at all. I'm one of those parents that hate to see toddlers with a binky in their mouth. The only time my son had one was for about 5 seconds b/c it's the only thing we could get him to learn how to start sucking on (had problems with him latching on to breastfeed and sucking). My son has not had one since that moment the day he was born. I believe that at this age it's more of a security item than anything


my daughter was a breast baby too and thats how it started,she always wanted to sleep latched on and the binky just replaced me especially when i nursed before nap or bedtime. i felt so bad after i stopped nursing i kind of feel guilty taking it from her,even though me not nursing her hurt me soooo much worse then it hurt her.

Jessica - posted on 06/19/2009

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For one it's not good for their teeth at all. I'm one of those parents that hate to see toddlers with a binky in their mouth. The only time my son had one was for about 5 seconds b/c it's the only thing we could get him to learn how to start sucking on (had problems with him latching on to breastfeed and sucking). My son has not had one since that moment the day he was born. I believe that at this age it's more of a security item than anything

[deleted account]

Only 2 of my children have taken to dummies. My daughter stopped having her dummy when she was 2 and 2 months as she started biting holes in it! (which is obviously a choking hazard) My eldest son stopped having his around the time of his 3rd birthday as we felt he was too old for it. With both of them we just went cold turkey, explained why they weren't going to have it any more and took them away- had a couple of tantrums but they do adjust to it amazingly quickly!

Rachel - posted on 06/19/2009

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Like the one lady said the binky fairy...i would try it...girls love that kind of stuff. A friend of ours did for there almost 3yr son was that for x-mas he had to give up all his binkys for the other babies. They said for about a week he would cry and yell. And it SUCKED!
Did you try just having her have it at night? Or tell her Hey Cinderella does not have a binky...dont you want to be a BIG Princess? Big Princess only sleep with a binky. Thats just some stuff that I know some family has tried.

Erika - posted on 06/19/2009

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when amya was 9 months she lost her binky and i drove myself crazy for 30mins before i said "this binky is running my life and i won't anymore" so for a little while she was without a binky but one morning i went to get her from her crib and there it was in her mouth now she's old enough to keep up with it herself and i don't know what to do. lol but it doesn't bother me as much as everyone around us.

Rachel - posted on 06/19/2009

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Im one of "them" people that do not like the binky. Both of my kids used them. My oldest did till he was 7mons. I had got tired of looking for them and then going to to buy more. He went cold turkey for that. Now my 1yr old...thats another story. I wanted him off of it by the time he was 1. He is a sick baby so the binky makes him feel better. Now that he is 1 he only gets it bed time. Our doc said it was ok for him to have it till the age of 2 and ONLY for bed...witch is what we do.

For the most part its what you want to do. In our family we have LOTS of kids. Some have the binky and some dont. I have seen how HARD it is for a 3yr to give up the binky. I for one do not like to see my kids cry. The kids do need to learn how to soothe themsleves to sleep. I think binkys are for babies....

Again its just up to you....its about how much you want to hear people tell you something. And how much of a fight you want with the kids...or no fight!

I would let them keep it for the most part unless the doc says to take it out.

Cherise - posted on 06/19/2009

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Wow. I wish I had the answer to that! Other than it causing dental problems down the road, I don't really think it is a problem. I think it's the adults who have problems with children (especially older ones) that still use their soothers. It seems a total non issue in the kid world. I've heard, "oh, why does he still have that thing, he doesn't need that?!" from multiple people in my family. And I think to myself, he obviously does need that, or he wouldn't use it. The whole point of a soother is "to soothe". I'd like to grab my aunt's cigarette out of her mouth and tell her, why do you still have this? You don't need this? and grind it out on the ground in front of her. LOL Maybe then she'd understand my 3 year old's vice! It's a comfort to him. Similarly, you wouldn't grab someone's morning coffee and dump it out saying, "you don't need this anymore, do you? It's so bad for you!"

I've never seen a teenager headed off to college with a soother/binky/sucky in his or her mouth, so I think people need to ease up on this issue! :) It's just a comfort to your child. Having said all that, I do only allow my 3 year old to have his sucky at nap and bedtime. I'm not sure when to wean him off of that. I was hoping he'd magically do it himself! :)

If you do decide to take it away, I've heard some friends have success with the "binky fairy". They hang the binkies from a tree outside, and the binky fairy comes and takes them away, and leaves a gift in place of the binky. I thought that was a cute idea.

Erika - posted on 06/19/2009

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thx for the advice. i guess i just feel bad since i stlii suck my thumb (lol)

Lindsay - posted on 06/19/2009

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With my kids, I always just did things. There was no gradual and it was done quickly and over with. We didn't have the binky problem but the finger problem. Unfortunately, I couldn't take her fingers away! (LOL jk) I used the nasty polish on her nails and she had quit within a day. When we gave up bottles, they were gone on the first birthday and never came back. There was one major tantrum the first time and them it was over. If you know where all of her binkies are, I would just talk to her about how she's so big now she doesn't need it anymore and just get rid of them. She may need some extra comfort the first few nights but kids adjust very quickly. Good luck!

Erika - posted on 06/19/2009

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so how do i take it? do i just tell her tonight no more binky,do i do it gradually?

Lindsay - posted on 06/19/2009

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The main reason it's not a good idea is becasue it's not good for thier teeth, just as sucking fingers are bad for their teeth.

Erika - posted on 06/19/2009

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i just don't see the big deal. people comment all the time about her having it and i don't understand why its soooo bad for a toddler to have a binky.

Tashia Ann - posted on 06/19/2009

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my daughter still has hers an i wish she didnt an shes 3

my 4 month old hates hers

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