co sleep gone wrong

Jessica - posted on 09/11/2012

We had a similar situation. The cry it out method worked for us. I started by letting him fall asleep in our bed then would transfer him. The next couple days I would do his routine; bath, lotion, brush teeth, pacifier, book(s) then crib. It took about a week (and MANY tears both his and mine) to get him used to it. Now he doesn't even WANT to sleep with us! My fiancé gets kind of sad about it sometimes lol. Good luck!

Ana - posted on 08/12/2012

I agree with you. I don't spend much time in my daughters room, and she only likes to go in there when I go in there for laundry and diapers or whatnot..

Lately I have been going in there, sitting on the floor, folding clothes and organizing drawers just to spend time in there while she is with me and I have noticed that she goes in there twice as much, even when I'm just near in the bathroom or something.

So I guess me being around in there more means her room is no longer her clothes and toy abandoned little storage room, it's more like a nursery..

Good info.

Ana - posted on 08/12/2012

My daughter sleeps with us right now.. i'm slowly working her into her own bed. It's my fault, but it's not like she'll be in my bed forever..She's 26mths old. She's an only child and we have a large house...and I just don't want her all alone like that for now..(my excuses, I own them).

So my hubby and I did manage to make another baby!!LOL..I'm 4mths preg... so now I really got to get her in her own bed..because the new baby will be with me..

Oh boy, it doesn't stop!

Desiree - posted on 08/07/2012

We co-sleep, but use two big mattresses, placed side by side on the floor (& wall-to-wall so no chance of getting pinned in a corner or rolling over and falling), so my son gets his own mattress. He might want to cuddle at first for story time, but the we'd move to the other mattress. That way we get some privacy, and we're always there when he wakes up in the middle of the night.
P.S: we're currently ttc too

Amanda - posted on 08/06/2012

I haven't had this problem, but my cousin has. Try a reward system with your son. He is 2 1/2 - so I would get a calendar and put it where he can see it / access it and some stickers (like stars or something). For each night he sleeps in his own "big boy" bed, in the morning he will get a star. Set a goal that is he gets so many stars then he can.....ie: get a new toy, book, go to zoo...ect ect....that might motivate him to sleep in his bed. Also, try getting him new sheets that he picks out for his "big boy" bed. Or if all else fails, if there is a cousin or friend he likes playing with that might be just a little bit older, tell him that they sleep in their own bed at night, dont you want to be like that? Motivation to be a big boy might do the trick, but it will probably be a slow process. Good luck!!

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2012

I had the exact same issue with my daughter, I don't know exactly how it happened but it took a week to get her in her own bed, I just did what my gut told me. I always read her a book before bed, she sits on my lap or lies down and I sit on the floor beside her. I was also having trouble not breastfeeding at night and this helped I would give her a little bit then encourage her to lie down on her bed she gradually just stopped having it, she has always like having her bottom tapped and I would sit and do that while she fell asleep although she would wake up not long after so I started sitting in her room and she gradually started to sleep longer, during the night she would constantly wake herself just before she dozed off and so I found that if I stood a little bit near her bed she would lie back down and I gradually moved just out of sight around the door in the hallway. It took a week and she slept wonderfully for about a week and then started waking up during the night but its only really frequent when she isnt well. She usually just wants a cuddle, and then will lie down and I will out her lullabie night light thing on for her. Hope this helps good luck.

Kristen - posted on 08/05/2012

One tip that most parents don't think of is to spend lots of time with your child in their room during the DAY. Play, sing songs, help your child pick out posters to make their big kid room special. Often from a young childs point of view their room becomes some mysterious unknown/disliked wing of the house because if mom and dad don't hang out there it must not be much fun. But do establish a calm bedtime rountine, and whatever you do, dont get upset. Start with a story in their bed every night, very happy, very calm. You can choose to either stay in the room quietly but away from the bed or leave the room entirely. Everytime your child gets out of bed, put them back in, gently and calmly. Be emotionally and mentally prepaired for the fact that it could take 3 hours the first night!!

Debra-Ann - posted on 08/05/2012

My little guy had a hard time at first getting used to his bed! I was to blame for it but only because when he as first born, he could not sleep on his back or would vomit or just not sleep. He became a belly sleeper and because of all the recommendations I slept in his room for 6 months cause I as worried sick! When he got old enough to understand, such as your son, I took ine to get some things for his room. He was obsessed with "Cars" so I let him pick out a Lightning McQueen Pillow, got him a Cars quilt set & he also liked a lamp! He wanted to stay in his room but still wanted me, so uld lay with him and read (Cars of course) until he would fall asleep. If he woke during the night, I was in there in a flash s he had that security of not being alone. Now he is 4 1/2, still loves his Cars & kicks me out of his room!! Best of Luck!

Gabrielle - posted on 08/03/2012

Have you tried laying down with him in his bed until he falls asleep? If he falls asleep and sleeps thru the night in his own bed then give him a little reward like a new book or something little. You could also do a chart and if he sleeps in his own bed for so many nights then he gets something for that. Just like a chart for pottty training he will soon learn that he is doing something good and he will start to do it more often

Kristin - posted on 08/03/2012

Try "doing" elsewhere!! Makes it more fun anyway!!

Tasneem - posted on 08/03/2012

Sorry I referred to ur baby as she at first....saw it later after I posted it!!

Tasneem - posted on 08/03/2012

Well I m a mother of two a nine yr old n a four n a half yr old n also due wid da third one. My children have always slept wid us all dis while. They got separated jus a month back n ofcourse it seems like a vacuum in my room but ofcourse I m njoing it also. I don't c ne harm in ur lil one sleepin wid u. Spend time wid ur hubby imm as she goes to sleep n u know she's actually in deep sleep. Normally children tend to sleep for atleast two hrs at a stretch if their tummy is full. Or try goin to another room for ur quality time. I don't think this issue shud come in way of u having another baby. believe me njoi dis time wen he cuddles u n sleeps or holds ur hand at nite. Once they grow big they don't like all dis n we simply miss it too much. Don't worry if u r gonna have a baby it will definitely happen someway or da other. All da best!!

Rebecca - posted on 08/03/2012

Try putting the bed, if it is a toddler bed, into your room. Small adjustments help relieve all the tension. It takes awile, but at least you and your husband get some cuddling time together. My kids also had their favorite blanket, pillow, or stuff animal. They still sleep with their pillow pets until this day, and my daughter's purple unicorn looks like it is time to go...but it helps comfort her.

Lauren - posted on 08/03/2012

When my oldest was young, his dad lived on campus for school and not with us during the week, so he either slept with me, fell asleep with me (and I put him in his bed) or fell asleep in his bed and then came to my room. But I always made it a point to have him to go bed in his room at least once or twice per week so it wouldn't become a problem. When he was first starting to sleep in his big-boy bed by himself, I would lay with him for a few minutes until he was asleep or just about asleep and then each time go a bit earlier. There were times where I let him cry it out for a bit, but I've never been a fan of letting them continuously cry uncontrollably...I would go in a soothe him for a minute (not picking him up), maybe sing a short song and rub his back, and then leave again. We never really had a problem because I would never let him sleep with me unless he was still going to be on his own okay. Now that we're both home every night, he still asks for cuddle nights and sometimes gets sad when I say we can't. But it's special "mommy-Scotty" cuddle time when Daddy's not home. And now he's added his brother to the mix: "Mommy-Scotty-Tyler" cuddle time...sometimes Daddy gets to join. And we'll read books and all fall asleep together...and then we'll move him to his room later.

Don't feel like you have to let him scream for an hour is that's not what you're comfortable with, but also don't make a habit of falling asleep next to him every single night. Start with him in his room to help him realize it's a good thing to have his own space--make it part of a full bedtime routine with books, a song together, a special stuffed animal, whatever he likes. And then each day, gradually leave a bit earlier until you're able to just give him a kiss and hug and leave. Even my 6-year-old wants to be tucked in, kissed and hugged, and occasionally tries to get away with cuddling with us, but ultimately, when we say no, he doesn't argue. Be patient, but confident in what you say to him, and it'll get better. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 08/02/2012

Have you tried laying in bed with him in his room till he's asleep? That's what we do with my 2 1/2 year old, she usually comes into our bed in the middle of the night but she starts in her bed. Actually because she likes to play with her dolls so much at bedtime I thought I would try leaving her to fall asleep by herself last night she got this really sad look on her face and was getting ready to start crying when I left so I just layed down with her. My husband and I don't mind co-sleeping we did it with our oldest, there are other rooms in the house to make a baby in ;)

S. - posted on 08/02/2012

Some people live by co sleeping but it's just not for me, however my youngest was sick for about 6 months on and off and she spent a lot of time in with us. I tried everything! But for us the only thing that works is to sit by he door gate with our heads down giving her no attention what so ever, she would cry and scream but realise we are there but she's getting nothing from us an take herself back to bed. It is a cry it out method and not for everyone,, you do have to be strong for about a week but it most certainly payed off for us. She goes to bed and stays in bed till the morning.

Chaya - posted on 08/02/2012

Try putting him in his own bed after he's asleep.