constant whining

Joanne - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My almost 4 year old seems to be constantly whining. It never stops. I've read all the articles and help stuff saying that if she's whining then there's something wrong but I don't know....she never stops. I am at the point where I probably over-react instead of ignoring it but I am so tired of listening to it. It gets my back up immediately and I feel like sceaming at her. I've tried everything from taking her favourite toy to ignoring it to screaming at her (which I am loathe to admit but would be remiss if I didn't). My Mum, who has had 5 of her own, says some kids are just like that and there's not much you can do about it except wait until she grows out of it. But how long does it take? Just as an aside - she is an angel at kindergarten - I never hear any complaints and they tell me every detail of what goes on each day so I assume they would mention this too if it were happening. Anyone got any advice?

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Joanne - posted on 02/17/2010

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you know that's funny - i've just started doing the whiny thing back and she doesn't like it one bit. She puts her hands over her ears and starts telling me she doesn't want to hear that!! Maybe I'll stick to that method and we'll see some results. Thanks ladies, it's good to know that I don't have the only whiny one on the planet and good luck. Here's hoping it's just a phase!!

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Joanne - posted on 02/18/2010

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thanks so much - i've already put these things into practice and it seems to be working a little bit. So as long as I stick with it I think I'll see results. She's a smart kid so I think she knows by my tone of voice whether or not she's going to win and today I guess I made a conscious decision not to listen to it anymore and so far she's zipped it! Positive thinking. Thanks again.

Christine - posted on 02/17/2010

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I would try to ignore it and by ignore it i mean dont show emotion about it. I think when kids do whine which is natural the more of a reaction they get the more it feeds the whining. You could try to make a conscious effort to keep and even tone in your voice and tell her she can come talk to you when she stops whining. That she can whine in her room but if she wants to talk to you then whining is not ok and it will not get her what she wants. and stick to it dont give her what she wants when she whines and reinforce good behavior, by telling her she did a good job when she does things that show she is a big girl like helping and talking things out instead of whining. Hope this helps

Joanne - posted on 02/17/2010

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i know you're right and I've been trying all these things but she's a very persistent little girl and in the end I get so mental with it all that I probably give in just to shut her up. I know it's all my fault and I truly suck at this parenting thing but I just need to take it on the chin and keep at it til it stops. Thanks for your comments.

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2010

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When she whines tell her to use her words. Then ignore her until she uses her words. If she is using words but whining with words. Tell her to use her words nicely. And again ignore until she does. Also let her know that if she continues to whine she will have a time-out. Then follow through with the time-out if the whining continues. Kids will whine if they get their way. If you require her to ask (using words and not in a whinnie tone) then the whining will get less.

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2010

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If she is 4 then she is whining for a reason, because its working for her. Do you give in to her demans when she whines?? At 4 she knows its not right to whine (unless its been going on for 3 years and no one has corrected her behaviour) so send her to her room, and tell her when she is in a better mood she can rejoin you in the area of the house you are in. If you are in public then tell her she will be going home if she does not behave. All actions should have equal reactions, yelling and screaming is a reaction a child likes to see, it means they have won when mommy or daddy has lost control. Givin into a childs demands is also a reaction a child enjoys, so be strong and put your foot down, do not torlerate the behaviour and the behaviour will stop. Of course I read somewhere it can take a full month for a childs behaviour to change, so stick to it.

Debbie - posted on 02/17/2010

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Oh goodness me i am going to have some problems then, my daughter is only 22 months and has started doing this to me and if i dont pay attention she has a tantrum i was hoping it might stop soon but it doent seem to be the case reading all 3 of your comments.

Katrina - posted on 02/17/2010

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My 3 year old is the exact same! he just never seems to give it a rest. Like both of you, I've raised my voice, taken toys, put him to his room but he starts again almost immediately. I'm actually convinced sometimes he doesnt even know he's doin it - its become a habit. For me, mocking him and speakin to him in the whiney vioce works best. It makes him laugh and (in a very childish way!) makes me feel better!

Kelly - posted on 02/17/2010

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My son is 3 and although he can be an angel at times he too whines non stop. I totally understand how you feel as sometimes I too have to stop myself from screaming at him. I give him a time out or put him in his room and tell him when he stops he can come out, it really is hard as he will whine until he gets what he wants, however he doesnt always get everything. The best thing for me is if I speak back to him in a whiny voice or tell him I cant understand what he is saying. I am hoping it is a stage but these all seem to work for me.

Good Luck I hope this helps.

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