Do You Ever Feel Overwhelmed

Melissa - posted on 07/05/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Hello

Ladies I was just wondering and so hoping Im not alone,I have a 2 year old son,whom i love dearly however some days I dread the day I just feel really overwhelmed and question whether Im doing this mom thing well and feel bad for raising my tone of voice to him when he ahs gotten on my last nerve.My fiance works constanly there fore 99% time Im with Jake.Do you ever feel this way any advise,should I not feel this way?

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I am sitting here reading all of these posts and crying because I feel so overwhelmed with my almost 2 year old. I am glad I am not the only one going through this. He is such a wonderful kid and he makes me laugh everyday but he is SOOOOO active. He is in everything. As soon as I try to sit down, he is in something else. I feel like I need 8 sets of eyes because he is too fast. I quit my job to stay at home with my son because that is how I was raised and I felt that was the best thing for my child. While I don't regret one minute home with him, I just wonder about me. What about me? Do I matter anymore? I feel guilty for even typing the words. Thank you ladies for being honest in your post. It makes me feel so much better and as I type this, my son is yelling mommy. Here we go again. LOL

Allison - posted on 09/20/2012

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I feel overwhelmed every day of my life. I work a full time job and a part time job on the weekedend. My partner works during the week as well. Both of my kids are in school, my daughter is 8 and my son is 4.5 will be 5 in December. Sometimes I'm so aggrevated from a hard day at work dealing with everyones issues that I come home and just want to go into my own zone. But I have to clean, cook and do laundry. Not to mention the baths, homework and bedtimes. I love my kids so much but feel like sometimes I don't give them my 100%. I work the two jobs because financially we need the extra money, but will be quitting soon. I got it while my partner's job was so hit and miss that he would go weeks without work. However now he's at a new job, the boss at that. Anyway, I know that us moms always feel like if we're having "me" time than we're not doing something we're supposed to be doing for our kids. But sometimes it's okay to take a few moments to yourself to just breathe. I always like to read, or do facebook, or of course computer. lol.. And then it's off to do fun stuff with the kids and able to enjoy yourself. Good luck

Esther - posted on 07/06/2009

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I feel overwhelmed ALL the time!! My husband travels for work frequently (not so much anymore thank god) so I would have to get up in the morning before my son woke up (i.e. 5:30 AM) quickly take a shower, then wake him up (well, he is usually up before I'm ready), get him fed, dressed, packed and ready for daycare. Rush over to daycare, drop him off there at 7 AM sharp, race over to the parking garage so I can catch my 7:15 AM train into the city. Work a full day, rush home, pick him up from daycare, feed him, play with him, have some quality time, put him to bed, try to pick up the pieces of what was a livingroom before my son hit it, fix myself some dinner, clean that up, do some more work, go to bed (usually around midnight), if I'm unlucky (most of the time) get up again at 2 AM because my son is calling me, hope he'll be back to sleep quickly (often up for hours though) and then at 5:30 AM the whole thing starts all over again. How can you not feel overwhelmed at times??

Cynthia - posted on 07/06/2009

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OMG Melissa . . . you are reading my mind girl. I have a 3.5 year old that drags every last ounce of life out of me some days. When its just he and I, he HAS to have my 100% attention. He is a very HIGH MAINTANCE kid. He doesn't listen, I have to constantly redirect him which more often than not leads to yelling, arguing and then spanking. I feel like the worst mommie on the planet! I just loose my patience with him and I know it's not his fault but I just wish he would be as good for his preschool teachers (or anyone else for that matter) for me. Just for 1 day, shoot I'll take 1 hour of us getting along! You are not alone, I guess it's normal and I guess they grow out of it?! My first one was sooooooooooooooooooooo different which makes it harder to cope. good luck and any time you want to vent, I'm here!

Amy - posted on 07/09/2009

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everything you are saying is totally normal. my 2 year old drives me CRAZY more often than not. and dont you for one second feel bad for feeling this way. IT IS OKAY. some moms feel this way and dont want to admit because like you said, they are not sure if they are doing it right, and might be alittle embarrassed about it. you should be proud of yourself for 1)being able to admit it, and 2) for asking for advice..... it is natural to raise your voice when you are frustrated or upset, and it is natural to feel bad after, so dont feel too bad about it (but also try not to make it to much of a habit...lol) there are some days when i wake up and beg my fiance to call in sick to work cause i just dont want to do it bymyself that day (PROPS TO ALL THE SINGLE MOMS!!!)....(and those who have husbands who work ALL the time). and as for you "not doing it right", get that out of your mind and remind yourself that you have come this far already, so you must be doing something right....right??? and also remember to keep your chin up, otherwise you cant see the beautiful rainbow after the rain.... :)

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Beth - posted on 07/16/2012

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Thank you Amy Macyk and everyone else's posts! I just read all of the posts and cried reading most of them! I was thinking my hormones are to blame due to being 19 weeks pregnant and having to deal with my 2 year old son. I just get so embarassed when we go out in public because all he wants to do is fight me and not listen. And when he starts throwing a tantrum and everyone starts staring I just want to walk away and leave him to his tantrum! I ended up today just leaving my cart at the store and going home because he was throwing the ultimate meltdown. And the whole way driving home all I could do is cry and think why does this have to be so hard! In those moments I start to think if I really was cut out to be a parent? I love my son and I'm excited to be having #2 in December but somedays are just so difficult. I try to talk to my husband but all he does is criticize me for how I'm raising our son. (His work schedule has him working 4 weeks across the state and when he does get his days off he's lucky to get a full 2 weeks.) I've told him I've felt like a single parent and he does worry about me with the stress of being pregnant, raising a toddler and working full time. But I guess everyday is a new day and I just have to get through this.
I just can't thank you all enough for making me feel normal and not a complete failure as a Mother! You are all wonderful women and gave me the inspiration that I CAN DO THIS!

April - posted on 01/11/2012

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Oh my gosh am so glad am not the only one !!I have a 2 yr old an a 4month old an i feel like some days am going crazy !! Am so overwhelmed an I don't wanta talk to my family about it cause all they do is judge !!! I love my kids to death but my 2 yr old is something else . I really do need to find some me time ! My husband works a lot an am a stay at home mom..... An am so glad i came across this blog today cause I feel like am doing it all wrong ! :/ am so glad to hear am not a bad mother an that its ok to feel overwhelmed !!

Kamere - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting Janna:

I know that I get frustrated with my daughter, she's 2 1/2. She can be so much fun, but then she is still 2 and doesn't always listen. I have to ask her 7 times to.."please stop that", "honey, please don't", "G, please don't do that", "OK, You NEED to stop", "you're not listening, do you need a time out?", "IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GOING TO GET A TIME OUT", "OK, TIME OUT"....as she kicks and screams all the way to time out. Since she's still in a crib, I can contain her there for a time out while I get myself back together. I think it's normal, and I feel bad alot too, but I know that I need to be consistent with her so she understand the rules now to hopefully make tomorrow easier. Hope this helped? It's kinda funny....now that she's peacefully asleep and I read back my own words:)



Lol, I have to beg my son to behave and chill out, but most of the times all he does is smile with me, and repeat everything I say.

Kamere - posted on 07/09/2009

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Oh my gosh I get overly frustrated at times and wish for breaks from my son, but then when he's gone for some days I miss him like crazy, then it back to the same cycle again. He very very active and demanding and coming home from work to him i'm wayyy pass tired.

Andriana - posted on 07/08/2009

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Thank you for being normal. My 3 year old is trying to adjust to my 3 week old and I swear it's gonna drive me crazy.

Melissa - posted on 07/07/2009

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Thankyou ladies,I seriously feel so much better,Jake is the best thing that has ever happened to me but somedays I feel like a failure.Im new at this and he is a new person so I guess we all just learn everyday.Im so organized so the unorganization drives me nuts but the mess will still be there tomorrow and the memories with my son will last a life time.

I as well feel horrible when I want me time I love to workout and don't get to do it as often as I use to because I feel guilty to when I want time for myself like I wanted to be a mom and I should be there for him all the time.

Such the hardest job ever wow.

Thanks everyone I feel your pain.

If there are any mom's on the North Shore Area in Mass,that would like to do playdates please let me know Id love to have Jake play with other childern.

Mel

Candra - posted on 07/07/2009

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I feel this everyday.. I am 22 years old a student and a full time mom to a almost 3 year old and a 2 month old and everyday my son stresses me out yes he can do more on his own but now he does all the annoying things people warned me about with a two year old and ontop i have a new baby. I do have a husband that does help when hes not at work but he still can act like a kid himself so i have my days of just crying and wanting to go away for a bit.. does that make me a bad mother... i think we all go through it

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Hi I have kind of the same problem/situation I have Braedyn he is 18mths and constantly on my back everywhere I go he goes and I know it is a attachment. seperation disorder and it is hard to say the least I am a stay at home mom I take online classses but it is hard I hope and pray he grows out of this because I have days where I really think I am gonna lose it

Rita - posted on 07/07/2009

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My daughter tried to eat out of the toilet, and I completely lost my cool to the point where I made her cry! I felt so bad for making her cry but you DON"T eat out of the toilet-geeze!!

Julie - posted on 07/07/2009

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A mothers guilt is never done! I agree! This stage is frustrating, and physically and emotionally exhausting! I have a 14 month old and a 21/2 year old, and some days I wish they would nap till their dad gets home! (never happens) Before I had kids I had this ideal idea about the type of mom I was going to be! There were two things I was set on!!! I wasn't going to yell, and I wasn't going to swat (spank). I have resorted to both! I slap fingers for touching things not supposed to be touched, and I yell when I have been pushed to my limit! But at the end of the day when I tuck them into bed...... all that goes away and all I feel is unconditional love! (unless they are going to bed for doing something naughty!)

Rita - posted on 07/07/2009

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I also feel overwhelmed! I also feel like whatever I am doing, is never enough. I feel like Evelyn's well being solely relies on me, my husband doesn't count! Sometimes I feel like I hold Evelyn back. I don't know. I feel tremendous guilt for silly reasons-like I should be more patient, or talk to her more. You are so not alone, I guess it is just part of being a mom!

Sharon - posted on 07/07/2009

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I have days like this too. My husband also works alot and we are having trouble getting our child to eat. Shes stubborn. I either want to scream or cry some days but I also know I would never trade her for anything in the world. And I know I am doing the best I can. Its hard. Nobody ever said being a mother was easy. And Im sure 99% of mothers have had days like this.

Kathleen - posted on 07/07/2009

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I have twin boys that are turning two this month. I understand the overwhelming part. It's great to vent to other parents. I think this puts our lives in perspective. There are days when I'm not sure if I'm really all here "mentally." I think after a while we go into autopilot and forget about ourselves and our chidlren because they are testing our patience. We tend to focus on making it through the next snack, meal, temper tantrum or what not. At least I know I do! At times it takes my husband to remind me that they are only 2 and that their behaviors are normal. He tells me all the time, "Don't get upset, it's not their personality just a bump in the day."

Ovetta - posted on 07/06/2009

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I have found that coulseling helps. It's nice to have a neutral party tell you that it will be okay and who will let you know that you don't have to feel guilty and you will make it through

Miranda - posted on 07/06/2009

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After reading what everyone said, I even feel better! LOL I thought I was alone, too. My daughter's 3 and ALWAYS likes to be doing something. She isn't the best listener either. I'm home more then my husband is b/c he doesn't get home till 9pm :( I love her to pieces, but sometimes I need time away and I feel gulty b/c I feel tha way.

Melissa - posted on 07/06/2009

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Thanks so much I hear you Jake is like 10 kids in one and yes somedays im like do I have to do this all over again tomma,Im a stay at home mom and with him always and I just hate the feeling that comes with the bad days we do have wow it is def hard,thanks ladies,kudos to women who have lots of children i do want one more I just some days not so sure LOL

Tanya - posted on 07/06/2009

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Its nice to know I'm not alone in this. I have an 18 month old and a 3 month old and some days I just wanna sit done and cry. When one is cranky so is the other. I think what helps me most is calling someone (or visiting) that is understanding and helps me feel more calm.

Melissa - posted on 07/06/2009

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Thankyou so much ladies Iam so happy Iam not alone,Once again thankyou so much It does come with some crazy days.
Melissa

Cathy - posted on 07/05/2009

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ohh yahhh...I've been there - especially with my older son, when he was going thru the terrible 2's, I remember going to bed at night thinking..' oh God, I've got to go through it all over again tomorrow!! ' - but the good news is it passes and they move on to a new stage and get more agreeable and you start getting more sleep and so on and so on. Hang in there, it does get easier !!

Janna - posted on 07/05/2009

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I know that I get frustrated with my daughter, she's 2 1/2. She can be so much fun, but then she is still 2 and doesn't always listen. I have to ask her 7 times to.."please stop that", "honey, please don't", "G, please don't do that", "OK, You NEED to stop", "you're not listening, do you need a time out?", "IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GOING TO GET A TIME OUT", "OK, TIME OUT"....as she kicks and screams all the way to time out. Since she's still in a crib, I can contain her there for a time out while I get myself back together. I think it's normal, and I feel bad alot too, but I know that I need to be consistent with her so she understand the rules now to hopefully make tomorrow easier. Hope this helped? It's kinda funny....now that she's peacefully asleep and I read back my own words:)

Sasha - posted on 07/05/2009

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Melissa - I am totally with you. I know the feeling well - I also have a 2-year-old, and a 3 month old. The toddler drives me totally crazy some days! I find I have much less patience than I wish I had. Some days I feel that I love her totally, but really don't "like" her behaviour that day.



What do I do to help? Well, I have recently started doing some things for myself - selling my handcrafted purses on etsy, and I find that gives me something else to think about. I also try to get rest - sleep is the key to my moods!



You are definitely not alone....

Jan - posted on 07/05/2009

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Hi Melissa;

Take it from a mom with grown kids---your normal! Just remember your son is learning how to be a kids and your learning how to be a mom. You both have a lot of learning to do and just when you think you have it all down pat, you have another one and then-----it begins all over again. Each child is different, has their own unique ways and personality, so you never have all of the answers.

Overwhelmed! you bet! But you will live through it and so will your kids. Do like they do, just take baby steps, take one day at a time and don't sweat the small stuff!

Just take lots of time to kiss that little guy, the cleaning will be there in the morning! They grow up!

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