Frustrated about potty training

Jennifer - posted on 05/10/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son Dane is 3 1/2 yrs, he will be 4 in August. We have talked with him several times about potty training. We have done sticker chart, if he potty's he can get a new toy, school, play sports, go spend the night with a cousin. I've put fruit loops and cheerios in the toilet, food coloring. We've sat and stood. He will tell you what he needs to do and what he gets to do when he starts using the potty but flat out refuses to want to do it. Last week I told him we were out of diapers and he needed to use the potty, I was fighting him about it, he'd run and try to hide in the corner when I told him he needed to try to use the potty. Is it just gonna click in his head one day that he needs to use the potty? Should we be worried that he doesn't want to use the potty yet? Because we are. At the rate we are going, his sister who turns 2 in August will be wanting to potty train before or while he is.

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Sarah - posted on 05/10/2010

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Here is what I would do. If you have not already go together and pick out some underwear. Then the next morning when he gets dressed having him try to go potty (don't worry so much if he goes or not). Put the underwear on. Make it a BIG deal (he is a Big boy now, etc.). Have the potty chair out where he is playing. At first I would have him sit (don't ask if he wants to just have him sit) and try to go potty every hour. Again don't worry if he does not go. He will probably have some accidents...this is how they learn. Often times they don't like how it feels to be wet in underwear. I am not in a huge rush to change them. I will clean up the floor and stuff first and then change them. I also do treats when they go potty in the potty chair. 1 jelly bean or tootsie roll or pee and 2 for poop. I know some people do not like to use candy (I understand), but it does work. Having his sister potty training (if she is ready) at the same time he is might work really well. I only give out treats if they have done what they needed to get them. So seeing sister get a treat for peeing in the potty will give him an insentive to pee in the potty also. I trained a girl and a boy (both same age) and this is how I got the boy to go in the potty. Once they start having less accidents and getting better at going in the potty then I ask them every hour if they have to go, but only require them to sit if it has been awhile since they last went (2-3 hrs). When he gets good at doing that then move the potty into the bathroom, but still asking and doing the same thing. When you feel he is comfortable with that switch then try to get him to tell you when he has to go. Ask less often and only do reminders when you think he may need to go (you will have noticed a pattern by now on when he generally goes). I also change the reward system to reflect what I want them to be doing. So in the last stage I only give the treats when they tell me they have to go. If I tell them to go then no reward. Once I start using underwear I don't use diapers anymore. I use pull-ups at night ONLY. For naptime I just have them go right before nap and right after they get up. You may have some accidents, but I have found that kids do a better job long term wise if they don't have the pull-ups on during naps.

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