get my 3 year old and 19 month old to sleep alone.

Saphilie - posted on 12/25/2010

oups, it bugged. So the child learns that you won't come to reassure him, and that basically he can't count on you. So yes, he'll stop crying, but is that what we want?
So trust your feelings! No matter what, at 15 years old, they won't be sleeping with you anymore, and you'll miss it :) Good luck!

Saphilie - posted on 12/25/2010

I agree with Heather, if the situation doesn't bother you, there is no reason the change. At some point, they will naturally want to be more independent, it's in our nature. But from the moment they're born, we are constantly told to not hold our babies too much, to not rock them to sleep, to let them cry...as if they were supposed to be born independent and self-sufficient! But if you really want to change the situation because it's hard on you or your couple, then you should. My daughter had a hard time to sleep through the night and to fall asleep on her own. So what I did is that I would put her down in her bed, stay with her a few minutes and leave the room. But I would go back if she started to cry, stay with her a few minutes and leave again, At first I had to go back many times, and then less and less, and now, she just goes to sleep on her own. She knows we're here, and that we'll come if she needs us,and I think that's important for her to feel secure and fall asleep peacefully. Letting a child cry it out works, yes, but that doesn't make it a good thing I think. The child learns that

Heather - posted on 12/23/2010

If you love it and they love it then why change it? There is only so long that they need you or want you to be with them. I say just enjoy the cuddles and relax time becasue soon enough you will be mourning the loss of it. One of my friends posted a quote on FaceBook yesterday and it was this "Most children of preschool age still need to fall asleep in the presence of another person and resist being alone. This is an innate tendency that we as humans share with all mammals. Young Mammals do not fall asleep away from their mothers but stay near them for warmth and protection" aletha solter.
I have a 3 yr old and a 7 yr old. My 7 yr old started going to sleep without a cuddle when he was about 4 1/2 and my 3 yr old is hit or miss now, somenights he falls asleep without a cuddle and sometimes he does not. It is tough cuz our mainstream society does not think we should nurture our children or do what feels right (cuddle them, keep them close, respond to them, acknowledge their discomforts and needs, etc) which totally undermines the nature of us and of our mothering. We are gonna end up with a pretty srewed up generation of kids who are in daycare all their waking hours, made to "cry it out". are not responded to or vallued or nurtured the way they should be, etc. I think you are doing the right thing by giving your kids what they need and what you want to do...that is juist my opinion tho :o) enjoy those beautiful babes :o)

Amber - posted on 12/16/2010

well i don't really know what to say..i started putting my daughter down by herself at 9 months..and she is perfectly ok with it..just recently(at 12 months) put her in her bed at naptimes too..just pat them on their backs tell them you love them and will come and get them in the morning when they wake up..unless they REALLY need something once they are alseep..i would remove the toys from their rooms and put them in the living room or a seperate play room..tell them they have to stay in their beds and let them cry..it is heartbreaking but it NEEDS to be done..unless you dont mind doing this for a VERY long time..check on them once they are asleep and if they end up on the floor just move them to their beds..they will get used to it eventually..if you are worried about them injuring themselves by falling off the bed put some pillows down or a playmat..just tell them everytime you lay them down that they are big girls and big boys now and big girls and boys sleep in their own beds all by themselves and big girls and boys dont need their mommys and daddys to fall asleep at night..it will make them feel a little better..just be consistent..you dont necessarily have to do both all at once they are loosing their mommy at bedtime they dont want to lose her at naptime too..so keep on taking that afternoon nap with them it will relieve their stress and yours too from all that crying the night before..make sure you let them know how proud of them you are the next morning..maybe start a reward chart for every night they don't cry or something like that

anyways good luck!! :D

o and dont expect it to be a quick process..i would say they will be crying for you for a good month maybe a little longer before they are well ajusted..