HELP!! Single mom of a Toddler! I have been losing my cool withmy 2 year old son all weekend!

Kellz - posted on 04/05/2012

so i need some help. i have a 3 year old girl. shes driving me inssane. she doesnt care if i yell, and if i put her in time out or tell her to stay somewhere. she refuses she will scream at the top of her lungs throw things beat on doors and walls. she back talks and will cry here eyes out even though she knows i mean what i say when i say no or tell her i will not let her do/have something if shed crying. she was at one point fully potty trained, she pees in her pants every day now. im a single mother, i cannot afford a sitter, and i work 5/6 days out of the week. i would love to spend quality time with my daughter, but i very seldom get to because she just wont do anything i tell her. her father lives about a thousand miles away and i am ready to send her to him for a while. But that is my last resort

Candice - posted on 09/07/2009

if my daughter had been stuck inside for 3 days, she'd be acting the same way. lol.

on a different note tho, kids seem to know what their limits are with each person that watches them. and they tend to feel more safe pushing those limits with MOM. Here's the advice i give...and keep in mind, my daugther is not 2 yet, so this may bite me in the ass later...but it seems to be working so far:

1) pick your battles. for example...i choose, at this age, not to fight with her over WHERE she eats. she usually eats while wandering around the living room. I personally figure she has a short attention span, so strapping her in a chair until a table full of people finishes eating seems to be expecting too much. i chose not to fight that battle.

2) When you pick your battle...DON"T GIVE IN..NO MATTER WHAT! even if it takes HOURS and a million CALM repetitions...just keep standing your ground. they will eventually get the hint that you are serious.

3) if he misbehaves, remove him from the situation, explain why (making sure he's looking in your face when you say it), (no throwing toys!) and if he pitches a fit COMPLETELY ignore him. no eye contact, no talking, nothing. If he does it again, REPEAT it again. the second he starts behaving, give him lots of praise so he knows good behaviour gets rewarded.

as for not loosing it...HAHA..been there. we all have once or a million times. i suggest you both get out of the house, let him run around. And when he goes to bed...take a DEEP BREATH...and maybe a glass of wine. lol

Latosha - posted on 09/07/2009

When you feel that things may be getting out of control, take a ride and spend some time to yourself.

Cailie - posted on 09/07/2009

My husband and I have been feeling the same way. we have a 14 month old and we feel that no matter what we do he cries! he won't eat and i use to be able to brag about how good he is but latly it seem like soem one has replaced my child with a brat! i am worried that i will lose my cool as well! good luck!!

Lucy - posted on 09/07/2009

oh yeah and cabin fever is a killer - we all need a change of scene once in a while!! I can sense when we're both getting and we just run outside for 1/2 an hour or something!

Lucy - posted on 09/07/2009

you're not going to raise a bad child and he clearly isn't a bad child, just testing you!! My son has responded well when i say "no" in a low tone voice (not shouting) and move him away. If he throws a toy i take it away, if he hits me I put him down or move him away from me. All I say is "no". He has really started to improve his behaviour. The physical aspect of creating some space seems to be something he understands. The first few times he cried or threw a little tantrum and i just ignored him but then he learnt that's what would happen if he did something wrong. I was trying to explain to him why hitting was wrong and all that really did was give him attention when he was bad, and if i shouted he's just shout back and it would get worse. At this age they can understand a lot but if you respond with shouting or talking to them a lot then they know they can get your attention. If you physically move them away slightly they quickly get the message, without the situation escalating. It's worth giving it a shot!

Christie - posted on 09/07/2009

I think you may need to get out of the house and send some quality time together. I am not a single mom, but understand the frustration. 2 year olds go through periods where they don't eat a lot, its pretty normal. As long as they are growing, they're fine. Children won't starve themselves. Have you tried time outs for your son? Put him someplace where he will be safe (not in his crib), and let him know that he's in timeout and why he's him time out, then walk away for 2 minutes. This allows your time to cool off as well. Just be consistant. I would also say get a babysitter and take some time to yourself. Even if its just for a couple of hours every couple weeks, you need to take care of yourself so you can be the best mommy you can be. Your doing a great job, just know that. 2 year olds can be very difficult at time. Good luck!

Jael - posted on 09/07/2009

I understand completely. I have a 2 n half year old who has a pretty bad temper at times likes yesterday he bit my arm because i wouldn't let him leave with his cousins. I try to keep my as busy as possible which cuts down on the melt downs. We swim, ride bikes, play trucks, anything he enjoys we do. Sometimes just go riding around in the car.

Lyndsay - posted on 09/07/2009

Keep in mind that though this is not really typical, all-the-time behaviour for toddlers... EVERY toddler acts out sometimes. You're not going to have a perfectly well-behaved robot for a child, it just doesn't work that way. That being said, maybe you need to try a different approach then yelling at him all the time. Yelling is not really all that effective. After awhile the children realize that you're just raising your voice, but nothing else is going to happen so as long as they can bear the loud noise for awhile theres no reason to change their behaviour.