Home Based Daycare VS Daycare Center/Preschool?

Mary Renee - posted on 08/09/2011

I am only going to tell you of my personal experience at an at-home care vs. YMCA/School setting care.

The first time I went to day care in a woman's home when I was 18 months-4 (I went there for after care after a half day of preschool from 3-4) While I was there I was abused, hit, spanked, they even would refuse me my snack or juice cup if I had an accident while I was being potty trained. For some reason this woman just "picked" me to be that kid that she hated. For no reason! My parents ended up taking me to the doctor because they couldn't figure out why I suddenly became silent and stopped talking. They knew that I knew how to talk, and I still spoke to my sister. I was even writing stories on folded paper and reading very early. It was because this woman scared the living crap out of me and I didn't want to speak because I was afraid of her and afraid of getting in trouble. I never told my parents anything about the abuse because the lady told me "You're bad, you're a bad girl. You're dirty because you had an accident. You're lucky that I don't tell your parents what a bad girl you are. You better not say anything to them about how you're in trouble for having an accident or else they won't want you anymore."

I didn't say anything about the woman hitting me and spanking me and humiliating me in front of all the other kids for ten years because her words were that powerful and I really did believe there was something wrong with me and I deserved that treatment and had to hide it from my parents.

This woman "seemed" perfect. She was a grandmother, three of her own grandchildren attended her at-home daycare, as well as my best friend who was the same age as me and lived across the street from me and maybe two other kids and my baby sister. This woman would knit bonnets and booties for my baby sister so my parents thought she was the greatest thing in the world even though for years afterwards she warped my self-esteem as a child.

Later on I went to a YMCA daycare, and a Campagna Center (after-school) day care. Then I went to another at-home day care.

I my experience, the at-home day cares were worse. It was much easier to just space out in front of a TV and the day care provider (usually a grandmother) had all the freedom in the world to be horrible to children, even when I was older, I witness a lady at the other home day care pinch a three year old's ears and drag them by their ear. I saw them yell at a four-year-old until they cried for nothing except they ate a cookie that was left right in front of them on the coffee table. And when the parents came they're always sweet as pie.

I am NOT saying this is the case with all at-home daycares! You might have someone that is really great and that you really trust. I've even considered starting an at-home day care in my home so that I can continue to stay home with my daughter and still bring in some income.

But at a school-setting/pre-school setting, campagna care, whatever... there are a lot of pluses. There are more kids to talk to, usually a wider variety of activities, endless supply of crayons and paper, and also NO TELEVISION!!! Plus there is always some oversight to prevent abuse. I was never abused, nor did I witness any abuse as there were always at least two adults, a main "counselor" and an "aide" or sometimes two counselors and two aides, depending on the size. There is just more regulation at these things where as at-home day cares often aren't certified or licensed unless they're watching more than 8 kids. I personally enjoyed the school setting day cares as a child a lot more. I think they will do more for your child's socialization if you're concerned about that.

I hope I haven't scared you too much with my stories, and again, my experience might be unique, but I just thought I would let you know.