How can i get my 3 year old daughter to listen to me?

Samantha - posted on 03/17/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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She gets cuts and bruises all the time because she gets into things she knows she isnt supposed to. Im afraid she will hurt herself badly if she doesnt start listening. I admit I am also not the most even tempered person and I need an alternative to yelling at her. i grew up with that and I dont want to be that person but i dont know what else to do. Help please!

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Nicolle - posted on 03/18/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

well what i had in mind more was that my daughter is very much like a monkey. She is always climbing and jumping on furniture and falling off it as well. I thought that after a few times of falling she would get it but she doesnt and I recently saw something about a bookcase falling on top of a little girl and it freaked me out a bit and I dont want anything to happen to her like that. SOme things she will listen but she never does about climbing on things.



my son is the same way he loves to climb thats why we use timeouts each and everytime he climbs on something he isn't allowed to but if he stops when he is told no then he doesn't deserve the time out. Also take her to the park and let her climb on everything just be there to help her so she doesn't fall it gets that need to climb out of her system so she won't do it as much at home

Mandy - posted on 03/18/2009

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If your child is climbing things, I would really recommend securing things to the wall like bookshelfs. I've got a monkey in my house too. Just take all the preventitive safety measuresyou can and then from then on, its natural for them to climb and get hurt. If she loves to climb so much, make it a controlled enviroment for her. Spend time once a day making a fun climbing structure for her out of boxes, books, blankets, pillows etc. Make sure she understands that that is her climbing time and not any other times. :D

Rachael - posted on 03/17/2009

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I don't think spanking is the answer. When she is not listening sit her on your bed (yours so she is not around toys) explain to her what she did wrong and leave her there for a few minutes ( she will most likely cry so you could leave her there untill she stops then talk about it again. If she tries to get up and come out keep puting her back in wiithout saying anything to her. I only had to do this to my daughter once but i recently started watching my niece while my sister works and she dose not listen so i do it with her and now when she don't listen all I have to say is do you wanna go to the room? and she will say no and listen to what I said

Erin - posted on 03/17/2009

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I am not sure what kind of spanking you have been around Robin, but up here in canada, a small swat is generally all it takes to get our kids to listen.
If my daughter is doing something like running into traffic, I would much rather give her a firm swat to the butt than have her plowed over by a car.
Sure its sad, and sure it causes a mild amount of shame and maybe a vague amount of pain, but your butt is full of fatty tissue and muscle, which absorbs almost the entire force of any blow. And in the long run, it causes much less grief over many situations, since they remember "Hey, I got a spank for that once, not doing that again!"
and generally they dont. Acceptions of course are always there, such as;
-Only the mother or the father have the right to do this, at any time, no matter what.
-Reserve this punishment for the worst of the worst behavior, and dont suprise them with it, give them a fair warning. Sometimes thats all it takes.
-If your child has a developmental issue, Attention Deficit Disorder, etc, then perhaps this is not the course to go, since sometimes your child may not be able to help his or her actions.

Thats just my opinion though. I spank my daughter, maybe...once a month tops, if that. She knows what actions deserve a spank, and she makes sure to stay clear of any problems that could lead down that road.

Samantha - posted on 03/17/2009

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well what i had in mind more was that my daughter is very much like a monkey. She is always climbing and jumping on furniture and falling off it as well. I thought that after a few times of falling she would get it but she doesnt and I recently saw something about a bookcase falling on top of a little girl and it freaked me out a bit and I dont want anything to happen to her like that. SOme things she will listen but she never does about climbing on things.

Mandy - posted on 03/17/2009

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Our butts are the ONLY place on our body designed to take a swat. It'll take so much force before you will even bruise it. Not child abuse.



Anyhow, if these are constant things she's getting into, I would first ask yourself: is it more important for me to keep this item here and teach her not to touch or is it safer for my sanity to just move the item? If it's in something, use child-proof locks.



If the infraction is minor and just an annoyance, use a time out. If its really important and she needs to get the idea ASAP, I use a spanking.

Laura - posted on 03/17/2009

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Spanking does not equal child abuse. Using things like a belt repeatedly, leaving marks when over spanking, hitting anywhere other than their padded little butts....that can be considered child abuse. But a swift swat on the hiney when your child is not listening and potentially endangering themselves...perfectly fine IMO.

My daughter gets a warning about what she's doing that she's not supposed to. Then she gets time outs (usually a total of 2 if the behavior continues). If the time outs don't stop the behavior...then she gets a good swat on the butt and sent to her room for her 3rd time out. Low and behold...she all of a sudden grows ears, and begins to listen to what I tell her once her time out is over!!

Robin - posted on 03/17/2009

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I don't know about what goes on in the Bahams, but in the United States spanking is called "CHILD ABUSE". The only thing you are teaching your sons is to be abusers themselves. Violence begats Violence. Hit a child and you teach that child to hit.

Rhonda - posted on 03/17/2009

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Hi, I grew up in the Bahamas and over here the best way for us parents to get our kids to listen to us is by spanking it lets them know that whatever they're doing is wrong and kids don't like the feeling of getting spank so they avoid doing the same thing twice to avoid getting spank and trust me it works I have 2 sons the first is 3 and the last is 1 so try it but not hard okay

Robin - posted on 03/17/2009

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Something that has worked with us is to put her favorite toy in time out. My little girl can sit in time out and do the very thing she got in trouble for as soon as she gets out of time out. But if I put her favorite toy in time out she seems to listen better.

Nicolle - posted on 03/17/2009

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Using time outs works wonders. you have to be consistent though. Anytime she does something she isn't supposed to and after being told no, if she doesn't listen put her in a time out for about 3 minutes. You don't have to yell, just explain to her while she is in time out that she has to listen to mommy. Just keep repeating the time outs each time she will learn. It works with my son he is 2 and a half it took some time but it really has worked. I used to yell to and it didn't do any good I count to 3 and take a deep breath if I feel like I am going to yell. That also works with my son if he is throwing tantrums he has to count to 3 and take a deep breath.

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