How can I get my 5 years old to stop acting like a girl?

Magaly-Genevieve - posted on 07/03/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

19

10

0

My son was raised by me for the first 4 years of his life. By me and my mom and sister in france. Now that we are living in the state, I have a lot of people told me that my son is a cece. They told me that he act to much like a girl and should be a little more "boyish". For me I don't think he is, I just don't see why because he doesn't fight or cry that he is girly. But he is indeed a little girly how can I stop it?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amanda - posted on 07/04/2010

2,559

3

365

Why would you want to change the little person you son has become? My son was raised by only woman, and is not girly at all, so maybe this is your sons natural personality. By trying to change him you are teaching him that he is not good enough for you or the world. Leave your son alone and allow him to grow up with the personality he was meant to have.

Brittany - posted on 07/16/2010

98

22

3

If I were you I'd ignore people's comments. My husband is sensitive, likes watching chick flicks, has always been close to his mom.....even used to play with Barbies growing up. I think it's great, because he's a lot more attentive to me & romantic than 90% of my friends husbands/boyfriends. I wouldn't change him for the world, & I can only pray that our son will take after his father & be a sensitive, sweet guy. :)

Kristin - posted on 07/03/2010

1,645

40

305

Expose him to more boyish activities. Sports like soccer, baseball, tee-ball, martial arts, etc..

I would like to say that a boy who is more interested in quieter pursuits is not a sissy. Nor is a boy who doesn't care for fighting. Just love him for who he is and encourage his exploration of his interests and those of his friends and classmates.

For your own peace of mind, IGNORE what others are saying about your son. Unless he brings it up, it isn't an issue. Good luck.

Pip - posted on 07/19/2010

275

17

53

He sounds like a lovely little boy, why change that? My brother at 5yrs loved to dress up in my clothes, wear his hair in a fountain on the top of his head and he always carried a red leather hand bag. He's now in his mid 30's, married with a son and a sucessful career. Being girly at a young age didn't effect him and nor should it effect your boy.

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2010

70

10

23

This makes me sad. He's 5 years old! Let him be. I don't think there's such a thing as boy or girl activities. Lots of girls play sports or practice martial arts. And many boys take dance or gymnastics. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean the boy is more feminine or the girl more of a tomboy. I hate that they're being labeled this young. :(

While I agree that it's always great to have positive role models of the same gender, it doesn't always work out that way. If you're all he's got, then be the strongest PERSON in his life.

And tell eveyone else to STFU. :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

17 Comments

View replies by

Jessica - posted on 07/19/2010

91

36

6

That may just be who he is. He doesn't NEED to play-fight unless he wants to or has fun doing it with his Dad. I do agree that what really matters most to him is what YOU and Daddy think of him. Let him express himself and grow how he feels comfortable and I do believe he will be a more rounded and more coveted man when he grows up.

I strongly agree with the other ladies in introducing him to martial arts. It teaches important lessons such as discipline, respect, self defense, confidence, structure, keeps him active, healthy, provides disciplined and respectable role models and kids generally have a lot of fun with it!

My husband taught a "Mini Musa" class (Little Warriors) and he would play games with them while teaching and made it a lot of fun, but they also learned self defense, respect, discipline and a few of the basic moves and patterns. They also had little padded nun-chucks to work on hand-eye coordination. Part of their testing actually had one of the teachers randomly come up and grab them to try and take them out of the door. The kids were instructed to treat them as a kidnapper and do absolutely anything necessary to keep them from taking the kids out of the door. If they got out the door without too much fight, they failed the test because this was a very serious safety lesson. The teachers did wear cups and they got hit, kicked, bitten, headbutted and everything else the kids could think of, but my husband and the other teachers went through it with every kid because they cared about them staying safe.

Martial Arts is a great way to get so many things to your child and I would very strongly recommend finding a good school that cares about their students to introduce your son to.

Lamama - posted on 07/16/2010

7

47

0

listen that ur child u kno him best forget wat others r say'n but dnt let them name call him take him out where lots of different kids r at put him in sports n karate or taekwondo teach'n him 2 b tough dats all n from there u will know. 9 out 10 he might just b that respectful man u raised him to be really

Kimberly - posted on 07/15/2010

6

28

0

u no, its so funny how its fine 4 a lil girl 2 b a tomboy but boys r supposed to b "tough." But, I think that he should b him. My sociology teacher talked about it n class one time and i will never 4get it. she said that when boys r grow n up they r taught 2 b tough and never cry, but then we complain when they r grown and they r not sensitive enough. I let my son help me clean, he plays with baby dolls and trucks. I think that it will help them grow up 2 b good husbands and fathers. u r doin a great job!

Tracie - posted on 07/15/2010

79

36

4

My son liked pink and red and currently likes the colour orange, He's neither sporty or very co-ordinated. We just continue on with learning to ride a bike, exposure to things outdoors related ( he's still not confident at climbing etc) But he's a fantastic reader/writer/drawer and loves his drama classes. All kids are different, and as long as you're exposing him to all kinds of activities and not forcing him into things- let him be, other people will always have their opinions on everything all the time, just listen to your instincts - you know whats best for him, so what if he's not 'thuggish' and more 'boy like' whats 'normal' anyway?? He sounds lovely!! :-)

Mary - posted on 07/15/2010

45

22

0

If he has only had women to model after, that is very normal. At the same time generally, European men are not viewed by Americans as 'manly' as American men. You may want to find a male mentor for your son. An uncle, friend or teacher. Boys need direction from other men to know how to play male roles.

Melissa - posted on 07/13/2010

272

42

24

Sounds to me like you need to hang out with some new people. Not everyone in the US thinks purple is for girls. Kids have to figure out for themselves what their identity is. If he feels you as his Mom thinks their is something wrong with who he is and what he likes that will be more harmful to him in the long run than if he likes the same video games as the neighborhood girls.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/13/2010

511

19

156

Oh and if anything put him in karate it will give him confidence as well as teach him to defend himself and also really try not to tell him he is to girly or let anyone else tell him that and your are his mother not everyone else and if they have a problem with him being to "girly" tell them you are just trying to raise your son to be a sensitive male and there is nothing wrong with him their is however something wrong with who ever is judging your child. They are obviously not comfortable with their own sexuality so they feel the need to judging a child's.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/13/2010

511

19

156

If you give your child the confidence to be him self and to stick up for him self then he won't be bullied. Like I said before the little boy I used to look after liked playing with doll houses and his favorite colour to this day is pink and he has never been bullied b/c he sticks up for him self and even for his friends.

Michelle - posted on 07/12/2010

2,191

23

1087

put him in activities with other boys he will start to see what they are doing and he will start to copy.

Magaly-Genevieve - posted on 07/12/2010

19

10

0

I AM NOT REALLY TRYING TO CHANGE HIM BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE BULLY BECAUSE HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS PURPLE, HE LIKES TO PLAY GIRL VIDEO GAME. EVEN AS WE ARE LIVING WITH HIS FATHER, HIS FATHER DON'T DO THE BOYISH THINGS WITH HIM BUT FIGHT. I DON'T LIKE IT BUT IT SEEMS THAT I CAN SAY NOTHING BECAUSE EVERYBODY KEEP TELLING ME THAT I AM THE ONE WHO IS MAKING HIM A LITTLE GIRLY BY OVERPROTECTING HIM AND THAT I SHOULD BE MORE ROUGHT WITH HIM.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/04/2010

511

19

156

I agree completely with Amanda it is who he is love him for that and don't change him or teach him that being who he is is not good enough. I used to take care of a little boy who loved to play with dolls and dress up and play house with his best friend who was a girl and his favorite color to this day is pink he is know ten years old and couldn't be more of a "boy"if you tried to change him he has a girl freind and knows when he sees a pretty girl. So that being said it just made him a more rounded individual to be allowed to be who he wanted to be I really don't believe in "boy" stuff or "girl" stuff if a girl can do anything a boy can do and a boy can do anything a girl can do.

Ashley - posted on 07/03/2010

863

2

155

Dont Forget what other people are saying when he grows up and becomes a husband the very qualities others are telling u to get ride of that your son has are the ones that are going to make him a wonderful husband and father. But thats not to say that he may need a little male influence some one take him fishing do some male stuff lol he will be fine.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms