How do I get my husband to appreciate me more?

Barbara - posted on 04/02/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I work my ass off around the house, am constantly stressed out with the kids, and yet my husband seems to think that "telling" me he appreciates me enough isn't good enough. Yesterday I worked my ass off cleaning the house, I did the dishes, cooked chicken parmesan, corn on the cob, and salad for dinner (hardly any help except for when i had to breastfeed), my son was clinging on my leg the whole time while my husband was playing ps2!!!!! He's always rubbing in my face that I don't work, when I kill myself making everybody else happy and am constantly cleaning up after him. He has some stupid job where he is on call 24/7 doing roadside assistance. He barely makes enough money to pay the rent, maybe about 800 a month. He hardly ever gets a call in the middle of the night, but last night a 1 he did. Then when he got home from the call, he stayed up til 4 am playing video games. So this morning at 8 am when my 2 year old was waking up, i ask him can he please get up with him because i was just so tired from the day before, and he completely blows me off. so of course i'm pissed. He said he couldn't sleep last night because I am stressing him out!!!!!!!!!! (try taking care of 4 ppl you ass hole) SO wtf. U only want to sleep and be awake when it's convient for you??? What about ME??!?!!?!? He does the dishes once and says he's been helping out. Um, there are 4 ppl in this house, there's way more than just one load of dishes. He used to have a reguler 9 hours a day job and then i didn't mind doing all of the cooking cleaning and child rearing. and now all he does is sit on his ass. And when I ask him for help, I get chewed out for it, like I'm calling him lazy or something, all i'm doing is asking for hlep. But if one of his stupid friends calls and asks him for a ride or help with something (and that's ALL they ever call him for) he has no problem doing it and most of the time blows me off to do it! I feel like I'm going to go insane, all I hear all day is bitching, from the kids, and from him. I just want some peace and quiet for a little while. when is it going to be my turn to relax? i wish i could just drive away for a few hours, even if i had to spend a total of 45 min. changing someone's tire and unlockinh their car. i feel like i can't even enjoy my kids b/c i am so stressed out and when i tell him these things, he acts like i am wrong for feeling this way and that it's my job so i have to deal with it.

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Addison - posted on 08/22/2010

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honey, i know exactly how you feel. before i went into the marine corps i was a stay at home mom. I did everything you're doing and he never said a damn word. now, i'm an officer in the marine, i make more than enough for rent, work 9 hours a day, and i still do everything i used to like cleaning, taking care of my son, cooking, AND HE'S A STAY AT HOME DAD! wtf? and he used to do that same "you don't work" stuff to me too while at was at home, and now his excuse is "I'm making up for the time you were at home". it's b.s. if you find a cure for lazy husband syndrome let me know.

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