How do u get a 2 year old to put his self to sleep and sleep in his bed?

Amanda - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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i cant get my 2 yr old to sleep in his bed or put his self to sleep. any tips?

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Stacey - posted on 06/12/2013

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This is an old post but current issue. My son has always had a routine dinner okay bath books and bed but he always wants me or my husband to stay til he sleeps. He was breast fed for 14 months so he got used to falling asleep nursing. We don't mind being with our child til he falls asleep it's just when it take 1-2 hrs for him to do that. My husband works long hours and he puts our 2.5 year old to bed I have the 6 week old. He gets no time to himself at night if he's ok my sons room til 9:30 every night he falls asleep in there bcuz he's so tired from work. We need our couple time and I don't think it's bad parenting to want your child to learn how to fall asleep on their own. We don't do the cry it out what we started was doing our same routine but then after books give kisses turn on night light leave the door open and lock the baby gate. We say its time to sleep mommy an daddy are on the couch if u need us. We have a video cam the first night he tossed turned ask for mom and dad but we didn't get into the bed we went in his room laid him down and said its time to sleep. Repeated if he did it again it took an he but he was out. I don't like the cry it out bcuz I too believe a child will learn that if mom and dad don't care now then they don't care other times when I cry either just my two sense. This time does fly and there should be a routine and a balance for kids sake and parents sake who need those hours after kids go to bed to be a couple.

Erica - posted on 08/09/2009

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Ok, the way I did it was hard on me and takes time to accomplish, but worked when I needed to switch my daughter to a toddler bed at 13 months. First, make sure that you have a good bedtime routine. We do bath, lotion and jammies, read two books, say our prayers, then lights out. Set something that works for you and your son, but make sure that it is something you are willing to do every night.
Now for the hard part. Put him in his bed and walk out. Stand at the door and wait, cause he's going to get up. When he does you walk back into the room, put him back in bed, leave the room again. Don't say anything to him.
He will get out of bed multiple times. The first night with my daughter I finally left her door after about an hour and a half. It sucks, it's hard, and since they cry you feel horrible doing it, but believe me it works. Every night you will spend a little less time at their door. After about two weeks with my daughter she would just roll over and go to sleep, without getting up once. At two, she no longer fights us or fusses when it is bedtime. We go from bath to sleep within an hour which is wonderful. Hang in there and he will get the hang of it, it just takes consistency and balance.
This also worked a lot better for me than just shutting the door and letting her cry. Yes she is crying was crying as I put her back in her bed each night, but at least she knew that I was still there for her.

Kerryn - posted on 08/08/2009

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my hints may help you I hope they do

#1 find a way so he cant open the door

#2 if need be get him a night light ( I dont like them but he may be a bit scared to be alone in the dark)

#3 get him a teddy bear which he puts to bed at bed time my daughter and nephue have one each they put to bed with themselfs so when I say bed they grab their teddies and i tuck them in next to them (helps with the lonelyness) I also go shhhhh teddy is sleeping to show so they understand its quite time

#4 make sure he is put to bed the same time every night eg 7pm

#5 tire him out all day in other words if he has a nap in the day shorten it or take it away sure at first he may be grumpy but after a bit he be used to it this will help him self though the night with out waking up

#6 if he gets up after you put him to bed you and your partner go to bed the same time you should only need to do this for a week and after he falls asleep you can get back up just make sure he understands the lights are out and the t.v is off then he thinks he isnt missing anything

Personaly I have never aloud my daughter to sleep in bed with me and my partner she has her bed and I have mine when she first went into a bed she climbed out and cried a bit but I didnt pay any attention with in a week she was perfect my nephue on the other hand is alittle diff he would climb out and play so we locked his toy box up and his mum and dad turned the tv and lights out now he knows 7.30 is his bed time he doesnt climb into their bed anymore and I also dont like the idea of sitting next to them when they sleep it works for some kids but then it can also back fire my friend tried it and now her daughter wont sleep unless she sits in the same room with her but some ppl say it works great each kid is different and you may have to try more then one way all we can do is offer our advice and wish you luck

Aleksandra - posted on 08/06/2009

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I don't agree with the above posts. My sugestion is to hug and enjoy being with your baby as much as possible. Time flys. In sertan period of time you will be begging your kid for a tiny kiss or huh, so...... Use your time now. Believe me :) (sorry for my bad English, my native language is macedonian)

Cynthia - posted on 08/06/2009

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I don't have any helpful advice, but we are going through the same thing with our 2 year old son. I am checking in with the suggestions you get and gonna try them myself!In the meantime, good luck to you - hopefully we'll have successful little sleepers very soon!

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Angela - posted on 06/12/2013

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My son has being in his own bed for a long time now. The problem I have is getting him to go to bed on his own. I have to wait for him to fall asleep with me downstairs then I take him up. I have tried a routine but it didn't really work. I have also tried letting him cry it out but it's lasted for like an hour until I couldn't take it anymore. Any advice is welcome :)

Kristin - posted on 08/09/2009

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My daughter was in her crib until she turned two. On her second birthday, I made a big deal about her becoming a big girl and going into her big girl bed. She has a TV that has a DVD/CD player. At night I have a lullaby CD that I play for her. I tell her that she is to stay in bed until the songs are over. I then set the TV on a timer and tell it to replay the CD. She's always asleep before the songs stop. I do this at nap time and bed time at night. I've never had a problem with her getting out of bed. Sometimes she does cry at night but I just tell her I love her and walk out of the room. Oh, and I put a child's tension gate in her doorway so the door can stay open but she can't get out of the room on her own (she's on the second floor).

Keisha - posted on 08/08/2009

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If you don't have a bedtime routine, establish one, that ends in his bed. Now if he's anything like my son even when he's sleepy he won't want to lay in his own bed. So either you put him asleep in his room then put him in the bed or you put him in the bed and stay until he falls asleep. Now he may get up in the middle of the night and wonder into your room, where he is most comfortable, however its up to you to put him back in his bed whenever you notice he's in yours, even if its not until the morning and he wakes up for the day 5 minutes after you lay him down. This will help him to associate going to sleep and waking up in his room, in his bed. Hopefully this helps him want to sleep in his own bed and room. GOOD LUCK

[deleted account]

well, i just dont c how some people do it but i dont feel that letting them cry themselves to sleep is how they should learn to sleep. i wouldn't like to cry myself to sleep. I have a 3 yr. old who does great and a 18month old who i hold until she falls asleep because I feel that she will learn when she is ready whether it be before or after the age of 2. i worry less about her and sleep well myself when i take the xtra 15mins to hold her every night. its worth it to me :)

Christy - posted on 08/08/2009

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I got one of those doorknob protector things so the kid can't turn the knob and I put it on the inside of his room. That way he can't get up and crawl into our bed, that was a habit I didn't want to start. You could try giving them a sip of milk too when they wake up during the night. Just keep working on it.

Christy - posted on 08/08/2009

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My son was actually pretty good about switching, though we have had a few hiccups along the way. If he wakes up during the night I just put him back to bed. What we like to do about half hour before bedtime is to get him into his jammies and his teeth brushed and then we get him to settle down on the couch and we read a few stories and watch some tv. That way he's calming down and starts to get sleepy. Then we give him kisses and he gets to give the kitties a hug and it's off to bed. If he starts crying we will sometimes keep him up a little bit longer but then it's the same routine and back to bed. Sometimes if I put him down and he doesn't want to go, my husband will go into his room and tuck him back in and he'll go to sleep then. Yup and I totally agree with letting him sit at the door and cry, I think he may have even slept on the floor a couple times b/c he just didn't want to go to bed and I didn't want to keep going in there.

Lisa - posted on 08/07/2009

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The same routine is great. However, to get to that point I first had to lay in bed with my son until he fell asleep (about a week) and then moved to a chair next to his bed for a couple of days, then next to the door for a couple a days, then outside the room for a couple of days (telling him that mommy was right here if he needed me). In the end he didn't notice that I wasn't outside the door anymore. It's a process, and he did cry with each transition, but now Daddy reads a book each night and we turn on his music lamp and to sleep he goes.

Amanda - posted on 08/07/2009

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Thanks so much everyone for the ideas, were putting him in his bed and the problem isnt crying its him getting up we put him right back and he will eventually go to sleep but then during the night hes back in our bed and the routine begins again. this has been going on for at least 6 months. ill keep everyone posted on our progress!!

Danielle - posted on 08/06/2009

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I don't know how you feel about this but I would just let him cry it out. My son is now 2 1/2 and has been sleeping in his own bed all night long since 5 months. At 6 months I stopped rocking him to sleep. At first he cried for a little, sometimes up to a 1/2 hour but I was very persistent. Now he goes to sleep at night and for naps without a problem. My daughter is 4 months old and I started putting her down without rocking her. She is already sleeping through the night in her own crib so I didn't have that problem with her. Good luck.

Carson - posted on 08/06/2009

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get a routine going

bath,read,etc....give them kisses and let them know its bedtime hes a big boy/girl lights out when they get up dont say a word just put them back in there bed ..might take couple of days but they will get the hang of bedtime..and i agree with top post dont give in dont hurt for them to cry its hurts us more hearing them cry.....

Avelina - posted on 08/06/2009

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I am going through the same thing. What I do is take my son a bath at night, get him dressed in pj's or not and put him in his bed. He is really new to this but he is catching on. Your son will cry, and all you will want to do is pick him up, DONT!!! He will cry himself to sleep eventually. Also just make sure he gets tired out during the day. That also helps.

Kirsty - posted on 08/06/2009

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be persistant and dont give in at all i had same problem dont communicate with the child when you put them back to bed no eye contact nothing i had to do it with all 3 of mine its hard but keep goin

Khamisha - posted on 08/06/2009

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I never had that prob ( my kids have always been in there own rooms w/ own beds but.... My friend said to put them in there beds at the same time develop a routine of maybe a bath and then read them a book then turn off the lights if need be get them a night light of there fav character and tell them goodnight. It worked for her daughter so maybe it will work for you. I hope this helps. She said her daughter screamed and cried at first but just let them do it after awhile they will realize it is the routine and get used to it.

Heather - posted on 08/06/2009

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This my not help much but my daughter has that problem too, and my husband and I have been trying this. Put them in their room everynight at the same time. Turn the lights out and shut the door. If they cry, let them, don't give them any sourt of attention. It may take a while but eventually he'll cry himself to sleep.

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