How do you 'convince' your husband to have another child? (please don't respond with

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Jenni - posted on 12/08/2011

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This thread is over 4 years old. Please start a new thread if you wish to discuss this topic.



Thanks!



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Jenni =^;^=

Nadre - posted on 12/08/2011

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I'm currently stuck in that same situation. Our daughter will be 2 soon and i've been ready for #2 since her first birthday... I really don't know what his hang-up is. I was an only child (unfortunately) and he has a brother and two sisters. I would think that he would be more enthusiastic about giving our child a sibling. This is a very sensitive topic in our house at the moment, but I refuse to let it go. Patience will get me through...!

Rachael - posted on 01/25/2009

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hey. i had that problem, and i just nagged and negged. and hes the one whos more up for it now

Kelly - posted on 01/25/2009

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Is your husband an only child? I personally think it is so important to have those healthy sibling relationships. Someone to relate to, when it comes to dealing with your parents together, knowing what's going on from your (a child's) point of view. NO matter how much siblings fight, they have a bond that only they can relate to. My two older brothers and I are best friends, and never fought the way the stereotypes claim siblings fight. Having a younger/older sibling helps a child to learn responisbility, and they are usually less selfish. They have to learn how to share, to help someone get ready, even help mommy with a new baby, etc. My best friend is an only child, and he has no experience staying up to play games with a brother/sister, or a secret language that only siblings know and understand. I agree that finances shouldn't weigh so heavily.



What made your husband change his mind? Is he overwhelmed? Is your son in the terrible twos? Is parenting more work than he imagined? His mind change might be much more to do with his inability to imagien coping/working/dealing with/raising two kids. But #2 is easier because there aren't those surprises, yet of course, now you're dealing with two. Has he discussed with you why he changed his mind? Other than a minimal reasoning?



Good luck, I really hope it works out. I don't come from a large family, but I totally understand your point of view.



 

Kelly - posted on 01/25/2009

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Is your husband an only child? I personally think it is so important to have those healthy sibling relationships. Someone to relate to, when it comes to dealing with your parents together, knowing what's going on from your (a child's) point of view. NO matter how much siblings fight, they have a bond that only they can relate to. My two older brothers and I are best friends, and never fought the way the stereotypes claim siblings fight. Having a younger/older sibling helps a child to learn responisbility, and they are usually less selfish. They have to learn how to share, to help someone get ready, even help mommy with a new baby, etc. My best friend is an only child, and he has no experience staying up to play games with a brother/sister, or a secret language that only siblings know and understand. I agree that finances shouldn't weigh so heavily.



What made your husband change his mind? Is he overwhelmed? Is your son in the terrible twos? Is parenting more work than he imagined? His mind change might be much more to do with his inability to imagien coping/working/dealing with/raising two kids. But #2 is easier because there aren't those surprises, yet of course, now you're dealing with two. Has he discussed with you why he changed his mind? Other than a minimal reasoning?



Good luck, I really hope it works out. I don't come from a large family, but I totally understand your point of view.



 

Kellie - posted on 01/23/2009

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Make sure you've told him exactly how you feel.  Sometimes we just assume they understand what we're feeling and they don't.  Men need it spelled out.  Otherwise just be patient.  Maybe he would agree to have another when your current baby is a little older.  Good luck.

Gabrielle - posted on 01/22/2009

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I agree that an "oops" is not the way to go... my personal opinion is that its morally wrong but the issue at hand is that you are desiring another baby. Continue to talk to him and express your desire of extending your family, you love him and want a "complete" family with him. We have two sons, the last just being seven months and I am wanting another "blessing" already. Although, I don't plan to go through the plunge again until my little little one is two and a 1/2 - three, my maternal side loves the house full of babies. I hope the best of luck to you and your family and hope that this soft reasoning will help him see this is a huge part of you.

Tiffany - posted on 01/21/2009

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I had the same issue with my husband. When my second son turned one I started to get baby fever again. My husband was dead set against it. From his point I could see why ( I'm a bit irrational when I'm pregnant). He thought it was just because I wanted a little girl, But I just had that feeling of not being complete. It took a whole year of talking, begging whining etc for him to see where I was coming from. He finally understood that my maternal insticnt to have another baby was not going to go away. People told me to just do it and get pregnant and pretend it was an oops. I don't believe in that, it's not fair to your partner. He finally agreed and then some compromises,( I am getting a tubal after). I am now 7 months pregnant. It just took some time for him to see that he wanted me to be happy and feel complete. Once you have one two is no different, You and him are gonna love it the same. Our relationship is stronger because of it. It was a conscience decision and there is no resentment, which I think eventually there would have been. Mothers know.

Angela - posted on 01/21/2009

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Sheila, I am so with you.  I have a wonderful 2 year old daughter and want nothing more to grow our family.  My husband is with that, but I long for another one as well. We also are professionals and we are not hurting financially, but there is something that is holding him back.



Let me know how your situation works out.



 



Angela

Sheila - posted on 01/21/2009

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Sorry - new to this game.  I typed more than is showing up...



to finish what I was saying, no "oops" reponses... it's just not me. 



He's an only child and is perfectly fine with only one (before he said two was ok).  How can I stress the importance of healthy sibling relationships?  He never wanted for friends, but his mother had time to bring him around...  I am wanting very badly another child for both me and for my son.   I just don't feel my family is complete and every day that goes by I feel worse and more longing... I've never been an "only" person.. I come from a very large family and don't think finances should weigh that much in the decision (mind you, we are both professionals making decent incomes).

Lisa - posted on 01/21/2009

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if you find out let me know, i would love another baby but my partner not keen at all x

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