Danielle - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 119 moms have responded )
My daughter is 22 months old. Since she's been about 10 months, she has been independent, determined, stubborn, and adventurous. I've done so much reading on the 'good' methods of getting her to understand NO, but they all have failed miserably despite a years worth of trying. I've done the firm NOs, and she laughs and says NO back at me (and no, I don't smile or laugh when she does this). I've moved her from whatever she's doing wrong, and she beelines back to it- every. single. time. I've given her distractions and she couldn't care less because she only wants what SHE wants. When she wants something, she gets it. I've given her time outs for 90 seconds. After doing this for three weeks straight, literally up to 20 or 25 times a day with no progress, I stopped. When going to touch things that might be dangerous (things in stores, hot things, glassware, whatever), I've given her quick 'pops' on the hand (just one finger, more of a firm tap, not slap), and now she walks around slapping her own hand when I tell her 'no' and laughing. It got to the point where I was just making really loud noises to scare her when she went for something she shouldn't. It worked for a few times, until she thought it was funny and realized she could just ignore me. She's been in terrible twos, I am assuming, because she just walks around screaming. She won't let you put her in the stroller or hold her, she has to walk, but then runs and doesn't even acknowledge that you are talking. She doesn't learn from any disciplining- she just throws massive tantrums until A.) you give her her way, B.) She's been screaming and crying for so long she doesn't remember why she's crying, or C.) She finds something else she is interested in- on her terms, not yours. So, any advice or suggestions would be great, because I don't know what else is left but a firm spanking on the butt, and I really don't want to do that.