How long does it take to potty train a boy?

Sally - posted on 04/23/2010 ( 103 moms have responded )

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our boy is 2 21/2 will go on the potty..When he wants or is bribed.He tells me after he has gone sometimes. I am wondring if he's just not quite there yet and is terrified to stand at the toliet and go. If Dad has tried showing and he's like No Way!!!Any ideas

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[deleted account]

Try telling him "It's potty time" vs " Do you have to go?" Best times to start are in the am upon waking up, after nap and at bathtime (just before). I've been a toddler teacher for 10 years and I find that if you make it matter of fact and just part of life it doesn't become a power struggle (as much). We don't stop our kids from walking or growing teeth so why make a big 'to do' about another stage of life? Also, DON'T BUY PULL UPS!!!!!! They are just like a diaper, cost a lot and don't feel any different to the child. When ready just use underwear (the quilted kind work well). The MAIN thing is the PARENT has to be trained, be willing to take your child (once familiar with the potty) to the potty every 1/2-1hr and be aware of the cues indicating he needs to pee and be willinmg to do laundry :) For some reason boys have a harder time with BM's on the potty....seems to be a control thing. Anyway, hope I didn't sound too preachy and hope this helps a bit!

Cindy - posted on 09/11/2012

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My son turned three in June...and I tried training him a month before, but he wasn't having it. One day a month after his birthday he went to the bathroom and watched my nephew who is six months older pee standing up. Right then he wanted to do it too, and since then he has been peeing standing at the toilet off and on. Today I officially started to train him. Only 3 pee accidents, and he says "oh oh!" Hopefully he will catch on quickly and go poop.. he even told my husband that hes a big guy now ha ha! I haven't done the sticker thing or candy.....I know he wouldn't get excited about that...you have to know your child...instead he plays with my phone while sitting on the toilet...I mean...if he can figure that out...he should get this potty thing down in no time ha ha!!!! Kids are so smart these days....lets just hang in there together as good patient mommies:) The less I think too much about something new Im getting into...the smoother things go...and I had a great day with him. I know I will miss going through this once he is older:(

Christi - posted on 05/10/2010

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My son is 2 1/2 and he did not want anything with the potty either. But I bought him one of those singing potty and would ask if he could make the potty sing for mommy! I would only ask at the time his sister would go potty of if I needed to go! He has his days where he doesn't want to but I don't make a big deal about it. Now he asks to go on the big potty and says"let go mommy"

Mame - posted on 05/04/2010

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it took me a year to potty train my son. now i an trying for the night, i told him that on the pull up it has a photo if u make it will go away. if u dont make the photo stays. i told him every time he get up dry he gets $.25 yes and that worked for a week he got up dry

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Sara - posted on 05/05/2010

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My middle son is 4 years 4 months old and he still is not trained. We are really struggling with him because he'll start preschool in the fall. I have no idea what to do. We have a little potty and he won't even try that. He clings to me and bawls when I try to set him on the potty. I'm starting to get frustrated.

Gillian - posted on 05/04/2010

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My daughter has had 4 nights that her nappy has been dry in the morning.Last March i had a whole week dry pants (during the day)& dry nappies (at night).When i fell pregnant,it all went backwards thou.Fingers crossed.During the day still a bit of a challenge.My daughter was 3 b4 i started.Proper pants during the day i found was better,even with accidents

Teresa - posted on 05/04/2010

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im having issues also... my son will do good 2 daycare and let them know when he has to go potty(most of the time)... he has his good days and bad.. jakob is 2 1/2 now and we have been going full force for bout 2 weeks now... straight underware during day( naptime inculded) and pull ups @ nite only... when i home w/ him he has more accidents he wont tell me when he has to go... so i like some of the ideas that i read here and will give try... but i had my boyfriends son potty trained in bout 2-3 month and my son is fighting me more than his son did... so confused... and i started them bout the same age...

Meghan - posted on 05/04/2010

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My son is now 3 1/2 and we have just successfully finished potty training. We didn't really push him until he turned 3. He didn't really get the concept at first of "standing" so we let him sit to pee. Once he got the hang of it he started to want to stand and now does. He has been potty trained with going pee for a month already, but it was going "poop" on the potty that was our biggest battle. It only took about 4 or 5 accidents in his "big boy" pants for him to not want to poop in them anymore. Now every night between 5 and 7 he goes potty. My pediatrician gave us the best advice when he turned 3. She said you just need to be putting him on the potty every hour. If he says he doesn't have to go and gets off take him in every 15 minutes until he goes. Our son goes to daycare so we got the daycare teachers on the same schedule so we were all being consistent. We fought us in the beginning, but after a couple of accidents he was sick of having accidents and just goes himself now. We also made it fun by letting him pick out his own "big boy" pants in a character theme he likes. Hope this helps!! Hang in there. It wasn't easy, but if you stay consistent he will follow.

Dawn - posted on 05/04/2010

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My son loved the toilet target game ( use cerios or fruit loops as targets and see how many targets he can hit) make it a game and fun and all of the fears should go away Good Luck :)

Latasha - posted on 05/03/2010

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my toddler was potty trained in full the third month after his second birthday he never sat on a potty to pee but to boo-boo he does. we just told him big boys go to the potty little boys potty on there selves. i took him to this preschool because he is like a loner and he wanted to stay i told him if you want to stay hur you eould have to loose the tranning pants and become a big kid. Plus he loves the potty dance commerical!

Stephanie - posted on 05/03/2010

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my son is 15 months and i started potty training at 1yr when he initiated it. He's not fully potty trained but will go most of the time in the potty. Child care has been inconsistant so its really messing with the training but if anybody has any ideas or comments to help potty train even with the inconsistancy im all ears....thanks and good luck to all the potty trainers. :)

Becky - posted on 05/02/2010

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I heard that boys don't really get it until they're 3 for some reason ( so you may want to wait a while?) Plus that boys have to have the underwear on so they can feel the wetness (or else it just goes all over and they don't feel it) but I haven't really finished with mine yet and based on my experience (even though they were girls) I don't want to rush it until we're both completely ready and I've noticed that me stressing out just makes it worse so with me 2nd one I didn't freak and she got it really fast so I'm hoping with my son it'll just be a week-2 wks when we really just go "all out". Although that week can be very stressful because you feel like you can't go anywhere and really don't want to clean up a mess.... (My son turned 3 in April). :-)

Heather - posted on 05/02/2010

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my son 2 and we have just started watching elmo potty training , it has help . he does tell me after he has wet self but we are getting there.

Tiffany - posted on 05/02/2010

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I'm trying to reply quick while nursing, so please forgive me if this repeats others...

Most people train boys to go sitting down, and hey can learn to stand later. It's a lt easier, less messy, and less intimidating for them.

And, although you certainly have boys who train at 2 (or whenever), it is considered totally normal for them to train well after their thrid birthday (like my oldest)...

Joanne - posted on 05/01/2010

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My son took at little time to. To do a wee we played games like -can you make bubbles, or can you hit the back of the toilet, things like that. To do a poo, I used to read to Mathew, which helped about.

Amanda - posted on 04/30/2010

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My son was 3 before he got potty trained and even then he had no interest. We bribed him with something that he wanted. He picked the toy. I paid for it and it sat on the tv unopened until he came out of diapers. Which didnt even take a whole 2 days because he wanted that toy and has been out of diapers ever since

Stephanie - posted on 04/30/2010

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My little boy was great with peeing on the potty, but would poop in his pants every time until he was about 2 1/2. He's nearly 4 now, and hasn't had an accident (even at night) in so long, I can't even remember.
My best advice is to let him tell you when he has to go. If he has an accident, tell him it's okay, maybe we'll go on the potty next time. Don't make a big deal out of it. I can remember being so frustrated and wanting to scream, but I didn't. When you're potty training, it's also best to get rid of diapers and pull ups completely, even at night. I know it can be difficult to have to change clothes many times a day and sheets a couple times at night, but it makes them feel like they know what will happen when they have an accident.
Best of luck!!!

[deleted account]

mine is 2 in a half and a couple months ago he decided he wanted to start going...he still has his accidents and he seems to go better out in public. I didnt force it on him. I just let him tell me when he was ready. I hear ya about buying diapers. I am ready for underware!

Gina - posted on 04/29/2010

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i have a 3 1/2 yr old and he goes potty when he wants it has been a fight but what i was told to do is back off for a while and i know that is hard to do but when a child has that pressure put on them it makes it worse for them and then training them can take even longer and also boys are so much harder to train in the first place and for them it is a control thing in away for them to let go of their pee or poop they feel a since of lost because that stuff is part of them show with patience and i mean alot of patience you got to let them know that it will be ok and your are there to support them. also try cherrios and make a game out of it when he goes to the bathroom. my son is starting to feel better and wanting to do it with out us telling him to go all the time we have slowly taken the pressure off of him and it has been working.

[deleted account]

My son is 20 months, in the morning after he is wake up I letting him go to toilet, he is use to go but in the day time to hard to go every 15 minutes him go to toilet so he using pull ups and before going to bed he goes to toilet washing hands and go to bed. Then in the night time he sleep well.

[deleted account]

My son took a long time to potty train. I had more luck when I started telling him to try every 30 minutes.

Christine - posted on 04/29/2010

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My son is 2.5 yo. We started toilet training together with his daycare last October. We are now at the stage where he will tell me when he needs to do a #1 or #2 and go and sit on Thomas toilet seat. He stopped using the potty in December. However, he has recently (last month or so) been standing up and peeing in the park with his little friend when we go to the dog park. Sometimes he stands up at home but prefers the seat. It does take a while and particuarly with boys!! Also you might find that you constantly have to ask them - my son gets so fixated with things that he often forgets ;)

[deleted account]

My son took what felt like forever to train. It was just before his 3rd birthday that he finally started to get the idea. I did find that having him sit first was better, then after a few months he naturally started to stand. He wanted to be like Daddy. He still where's a pull up at night though.

Ashley - posted on 04/29/2010

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Well, we potty trained in 3 days for the most part, using the "official 3 day potty training method" - you can google it if you want, I don't want to advertise. It was just before he turned 3. He did so well, and really only had accidents once in a while when he would be playing with friends and forget. Now he is 3 and a half. He started having accidents again. Turns out, he is constipated - has been for some time, although I didn't know- he poops at least once a day, and it is often loose and runny. So now we are trying to get him to go again. I will probably have to get back on that 3 day thing again. One hint - don't reduce his liquid intake too much - the doc said that probably contributed to his constipation (I was cutting back on liquids at night and in the evening to avoid night wetting)...

Zara - posted on 04/29/2010

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I started trying early which I don't know if it was a mistake or not. My son was potty trained not too long after he turned two but he was starting preschool when he turned 3 so I told him you can go to preschool if you don't go potty in the toilet. And every time he went he got to put a sticker up on his chart! Then after so many stickers he would get an award. He also had one of those fun toilets. At first it was much easier to teach him to go sitting down he just wasn't a big fan of standing and going. The only real advise I can give is don't punish him. Lots of parents get frustrated and get mad at their kids when they have an accident but that only makes it worse for the kid. I had that problem:( I would get kind of mad when I knew he knew what he was doing and he would just stand by the toilet and pee so I would get so mad at him but after I calmed down then he did and he did great!! Good Luck I hope it doesn't take to much work for you. I have a daughter who will need to be potty trained before long not looking forward to that.

Zara Nichols
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4AHappyLife.com

Ayndriea - posted on 04/29/2010

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My mom when potty training my little brother used to throw a cherrio in the toliet and make it into a aiming game lol....He loved it.

Lindsey - posted on 04/29/2010

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hi Sally
it has been a long hard slog getting our now three year old potty trained! we have been doing it for nearly a year and thought we would never get there!
consistency is they key - all your son's carers should use the same technique so that he doesn't get confused.
we bought a potty really early on so that our daughter would be used to it and know what it was for. once she stopped keeping her toys in it and wearing it as a hat she started to use it.
we started a star chart for the week so that every time she used the potty she would get a star and one sweet (not a whole bag). i then always took her to the bathroom to pour her business down the toilet and wash her hands.
we waited until she was using the potty regularly at home then we took her out without a nappy. it took her about 3 or 4 weeks but she has really got the hang of it and now insists on using the proper toilet instead of the potty.
persevere and it should all happen eventually - whether you have a boy or girl it will happen when theya re ready for it - don't worry if it takes your child longer than a friends. if you have any concerns consult your health visitor or doctor for help and ideas. or try http://www.supernanny.co.uk/

Amber - posted on 04/29/2010

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My son is scared to stand up to go pee. He's 2 1/2. he will sit and pee though, but we still have a long way to go. He only goes when he wants. I'm thinking of making a sticker chart and when he fill it up he can pick a surprise( toy, treat, something like that) It worked for my daughter. Potty training can be hard, just try and be patient. He'll get it eventually :)

Sarah - posted on 04/29/2010

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I got my son potty trained at the age of 4 years its quite late but it only took me 4 days and I got him trained. I tried potty training him at 3 he wouldn't understand it was like him being in a world of his own but once he got a bit older and went to nursery he started understanding and listening. What I mean he was old enough to understand and I got him trained in 4 days. You need to be firm and make him wear an underwear at all times.

[deleted account]

My son has been potty trained since he was 2 the treat method really worked for me he got a pack of fruit chews for each time he went pee and an oreo cookie for when he pooped on the potty I did this for about 3 weeks and hadn't had a problem since however he is still wearing a pull up at night and when we go on a drive for longer than an hour. I also didn't train him with pull ups I went straight to undies and he didn't like the feel of wetting himself

Katie - posted on 04/29/2010

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We let our son walk around diaperless when home. He uses the potty everytime. We started putting him in underwear some of the time and he would forget at first. Now we're doing "naked butt" part of the time and underwear or cotton training pants the rest of the time (at home) Diapers or training pants when out depending on how long we will be out. He is remembering more and more often to let me know he needs to go when he has his underwear or training pants on. He doesn't know how to pull them down himself. We don't make a big deal out of it whether he makes it or not. If he forgets I remind him to tell me next time. If he asks me to help him I thank him for letting me know. When he goes on his own he doesn't even talk about it (I have to remind him to tell me if he goes number 2 so he can get wiped). I let him help pick out his underwear and he can move his potty to where ever he wants in the house. In last week he's decided he likes using the regular toilet as well. I got him a cover for it. He'll use it both with and without as well as still using the little potty. He uses whatever his choice is at that momment.

It's a long process. Bribes tend not to help long term. They need to do it in their own space and own time. They need to do it because they want to, not for their parents and not for a reward. Give him reasons to want to that appeal to him, like getting to wear underwear all the time. My son hates laying down to get wiped after a poopy diaper so I always remind him how much quicker it is to wipe when he goes in the potty. 2 1/2 is on the early side especially for a boy, many don't figure it out until they are closer to 4. My son almost 2 1/2 as well.

Dawn - posted on 04/29/2010

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My son is 3 and I am trying really hard to potty train him so that when my new son comes I only have to buy one set of diapers and he can go to preschool but I am not having any luck. I have asked if he wants to go potty and he says no. I tell him if he wants to go to school he has to go on the potty and that works sometimes but not all the time. Does anyone have any other ideas I am open to anything.

Emma - posted on 04/29/2010

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my son is 2 1/2 and is clean during the day, he uses the normal toilet now rather than the potty. But i have friends who's boys are coming up 4 an just getting clean. they say the average age for boys is about 3 or 4. another thing my son won't stand at the toilet he sits on it, but im taking it 1 step at a time.

Sarah - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi, I have a 3 1/2 year old. He was fully trained a few months before his birthday. He was scared of the toilet to at first but I used to get him to watch me empty his potty into the toilet and tell him that he was getting a big boy like daddy and poppy and his uncles, who ever was the flavour of the week and that he would have to use the toilet the same way as they do. I toilet trained him without help from his father so I can only tell you what I did. I would tell him when I was going to use the toilet and get him to sit on the potty at the same time and 'try' to do a wee. I let him see that the toilet wasn't scary and bought one of those inserts so he didn't feel like he was going to fall in. That was half his worry. I didn't let him wear nappies at home. He would wear nappy pants I found at best and less, I haven't found them anywhere else sorry, and I got him to sit on the toilet after every drink and before I gave him food so about every hour for a minute or two at a time. Also before we left the house and I would put him in pull-ups though they aren't much good if they dirty them so don't forget the spares and wipes. If he is using the potty then that's a start. Daycare one day a week is an idea if you can. They seem to respond well if they see other children their own age using the toilet to.

Becky - posted on 04/28/2010

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My son is 3.5 years old and has been peeing on the potty since before he turned 3. He has pooped on the potty, but currently he does not. His father and I aren't together, but we discussed it and decided we weren't going to push him, since he tells us when he has to go and doesn't poop in his clothes. I figure he won't go to kindergarten still using diapers, but I'm hoping he decides to use the toilet completely by the time he's 4!

Sharyn - posted on 04/28/2010

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i have been told that forcing them is not going to make it go any quicker. My 3 yr old son and my 2 yr old daughter are both starting. She is going pretty regularly-without my help! and i think she'll be trained first. I have bought a special top for our toilet, with thomas the tank engine on it. I also give them an m&m when they do something on the toilet. I found stickers didn't work for my son - he wants instant gratification - men!!!
Good luck. I've heard boys are harder than girls.. i think it prob just depends on the child. It will be easier when they are ready. I just make sure i take them to the toilet first thing in the morning, then every hour after until bed.

Tanya - posted on 04/28/2010

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my son was 2 wen he we took him out of nappies he was easy all we did was waited till the summer got him some big boys pants and told him he is a big boy now he really doesnt need a nappy on it took me two weeks to get him out of them and about 2 days after that to have a dry nite he still wees on the floor some times in his room but i got told he cound have a bladder problem he does know untill its to late that he needs a wee.it does mean lots of wet pants but it will be worth it in the end

Christy - posted on 04/28/2010

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Looks like you got alot of replies, lots of stories, so I'm sure you've already guessed every child is different. I also started PT'ing my DS at 2 1/2, he was interested at first but then refused every attempt until he was almost 3 1/2. He is my 1st child so I didn't quite know how to handle everything, fortunatly I had the help of his preschool and some loving experienced teachers. Making a #2 on the potty was THE hardest part, but once he got it, he really got it and never messed his pants again. So it took us a year! He's 6 and continues to have wetting issues at night, but this is very common and I think it's a maturity thing.
My DD also took her sweet time, she took about 7 mos to completely train, I also started her at 2 1/2.
Dr. Sears disputes the idea that boys take longer to PT than girls, but EVERY mom I've ever talked to says boys DO take longer (in general) and this has also been my experience.
The advantage to a child being older when the PT is they do it all themselves. My DD just turned 3 and she needs help pulling her pants up and down and help wiping, where as by the time my son pt'd he could pull his pants up and down, he did need help wiping (still does actually) so you don't need to immed. drop everything to help them, they have a little better control to hold it a bit if you say for example are cooking and can't walk away from a hot stove.
Patients, and persistance are key. There were many days I wanted to give up and wait w/ my DD and put her back in diapers, but I didn't! Also I don't believe in pull ups for daytime use, they just prolong the experience, you'll change alot of clothes for a week or so, but they hate the feeling of wet clothes so they get it sooner!

Eleasah - posted on 04/28/2010

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having the same problem. my son is almost 2 1/2 & he only wants to go sometimes. I'm tryin to get him trained by the summer. I need ideas as well.

Tanisha - posted on 04/28/2010

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try putting cereal in the toliet and tell him to try to pee on it. for example cherrios and fruit loops. make it fun or show him underware in the store when u go. try to find a charactor he likes and tell him if he stops potting on himself he can wear them.

Erica - posted on 04/28/2010

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My son is 3 and he started using the potty like a big boy just before his birthday. I tried before but took a combo of things for him. I let my son pick out his potty and his big boy underwear and it made him excited about going to the potty. I also gave him two M&Ms every time he used the potty which made him "have" to go potty every three minutes but he got the idea pretty fast. My best advice would be to make it exciting and rewarding for him and he might actually want to try.

Alicia - posted on 04/28/2010

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My son (he's 4 now) had no interest in the potty at all. He was a month away from his 3rd birthday and I had tried everything. I finally decided to try a method I had heard about that takes a lot of effort on the parents' part but seemed so worth it. It takes a while to explain it in detail, but I will attest that my son was using the potty by the end of our second day. I won't lie, the first day was awful and I almost gave up. Then I got to thinking that if I made the effort and showed him how special and important what he was doing really was, I would look back on it and know it was worth it. Well, it really was. I received a lot of negative responses from family and friends, saying it was forcing him to potty train, but he never seemed upset or "damaged" by the situation. There is no scolding, only praise. He has only ever had one accident overnight and it has been a year. Let me know if yiou are interested and I will give you full details on how it worked for me.

Jillian - posted on 04/28/2010

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My boy was over 3 when he started. I just let him decide when he was ready. He told me he had to pee one night before bed so I put him on the potty and he went. The next day we went out and picked out some big boy pants and a frog potty that he really liked. he went a few days with no pants and the potty where he plays. Then I put him in pants and moved the potty in the bathroom. there were a few accidents but I didn't make a big deal out of them. I did make a HUGE deal every time he used the potty. clapping and stickers, telling him what a big boy he is. I never thought we would potty train him so easily but he was ready. I think, like everything, you know your kid the best and just read different methods and come up with one you think will work for your child. Good luck.

Kelley - posted on 04/28/2010

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Real underwear, no diapers except at night. Wait about two more months when he is closer to three. Plan on three days when you can stay home all day. Put the big boy underwear on. With his favorite character if necessary. "no pee pee in the pants" this is your mantra. Ask him every 15 minutes. and just keep saying it. Make it a game. Everytime he goes in the potty rewards him with something. I swear to you, if you make it easy it will be easy. Huggies pullups for nighttime. They look more like underwear. Good Luck

Amber - posted on 04/28/2010

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Something else... my doctor told me that to help with the pooping training process, feed them a good meal, let them sit and watch tv for about ten minutes, then try. If they are regular at all, they should be ready to go right about then. It was really helpful too. I have six, have potty trained four. They are all so dang different. One was potty trained at 20 months, another was not trained til four. The other two were right in between there. I hope it's not horrible to train my last two. My least favorite part of being a mom. :)

Amber - posted on 04/28/2010

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The best advice I ever got was to not put underpants on them at all the first couple of days. I just put a long tee shirt, like an adult size small, on them so they were covered like a nightgown. Then I had them go every fifteen minutes. If I put underpants on, they had the sensation that they had on a diaper and would go to the bathroom, but having nothing on for the first couple of days reminds them that they don't have anything to catch it. I also did that when they were sleeping, and only had one bed wetter (it was a physical issue and had to be dealt with by a doctor) but the normal pee the bed nights.. . never happened. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 04/28/2010

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My son is 3 and stubborn. We have been trying pull-ups, but they don't work. They are just like diapers. He has tried to sit and stand to pee, and is shocked that I would even ask him to poop in the potty. We haven't made any progress in a few months. He fancies himself to be Batman, so I found some Batman underwear he is really excited about. I also found some Batman stickers and tatoos for rewards. I hope it works!

Molly - posted on 04/28/2010

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My son is 2 and a half. I understand your desire to ask other people about their experience but during my pregnancy and now parenting I realize it is a bad idea! At least for me, anyway. It makes me feel really discouraged. I actually read through some of these comments and had to stop because it made me feel discouraged. My son shows a little interest in sitting on the potty but not using it. I'm not worried about rushing him but when I read that other kids are doing it...and doing it younger...it makes me stressed! My son always tells me when he needs his diaper changed so I know he is getting to there but not ready just yet. Good luck!

Desiree - posted on 04/28/2010

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what do i do about my 3 yr old i have tried just about everything bribing,letting him do it when he wants ive even gone as far as giving him fruit snacks every time he did something he is now just refusing to go he will be 4 in august n he really needs to potty train

Kristen - posted on 04/28/2010

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It took until my son was 4 yrs old. He knew what to do but was just lazy or wanting attention. What I finally started doing was when he pooped himself, I would clean him up and put in the tub and spray him down with warm water. Wash him up and rinse him off with the shower head. He doesn't like that, so he stopped pooping himself. This is a technique used on sensory child as told of from a friend. He was already at the point of peeing when he needed to. He did get a small sucker for peeing and big one for pooping, but eventually that didn't work either. Good luck!

Karen - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi, my son is 2 & a half and he sits on the potty and does a wee/poo etc but he then tries to put his hand in it!?
he will sit on the toilet too and do a wee/poo but we have a little step for him and a soft toddler seat that fits around the toilet seat. hes too young for standing.
he may not be ready yet, my son still hasn't quite got it so putting it off for a little while longer - especially as im due baby no2 in 2wks!!!
Karen x

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2010

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All kids are different. I've got 3 and potty training each was very different than the others. My oldest was completely potty trained at 18 months old. Our middle was potty trained right after turning 3 and our youngest is 2 1/2 and we're still working w/ him. A friend of ours had to make her son clean up his mess when wearing training pants and then when he was 3 - she took away all of his toys and wouldn't give any back until he went consistantly on the potty. It worked for her, but is not something I'm ready to do. I feel that our son is just not 100% ready yet. Each kid will go when they are ready, but parents have to help them out and teach them to be big. Chin up - these times only last for a short time and then you'll be wishing your 12 year old was small again :o)

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