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how to unspoil a 15 month old?

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my son just turned 15 months old, and is constinitly in need of my undevided attention, if i stop looking at him for even a few minutes to cook dinner, as wat happened this evening, he freaks out and starts crying like hes in serious pain, then after just a few minutes of him being upset, it seems as if he perposly falls and trys to hurt himself just so ill stop what im doing and run to the rescue, am i an spoiling him without knowing it, im currently 15 weeks pregnant again, and i just dont have the energy nor the time to be at his beccing call every second of the day, im having a hard time managing the daily chores and still being able to spend as much time as i can with him, but it doesnt seem to be enough for him, he always seems to feel or act out as if i dont spend enough time with him, i just need some info on how to unspoil him, we dont have playdates or have any pets to help keep him occupied with a friend/playmate, and hes still to young to be able to go to daycare, i also dont have any mommy friends that could come over for coffee, im pretty much all by myself all day until dinner when the hubby gets home, then by that time im so over tired i dont want to even do anything, so is he, so we sit and eat in silence while our son usually screams becuase im not feeding him fast enough, also i would like to note that he only recently started holding his own bottle, but still refuses to feed himself unless its fingure good, then the hubby showers and goes to bed pretty much, and thats my night, i bath my son, feel him his snack, read him a story and he goes to bed, but he refuses to have a set bedtime, and refuses to sleep in his crib, he wont fall asleep anywhere else but his car seat, but i have myself refused the cry it out methon.

But i need some help, am i really spoiling him without knowing it? And if so, how can i change that? Please someone HELP!!

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2 Comments

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Lise - posted on 12/17/2011

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You aren't spoiling him. He is still SO little, that all wants to him are still needs. Also, you mention you're pregnant - lots of parents experience changes in their babies when they are pregnant.

You can try increasing the time he's alone slowly. I did that with my daughter, and it was great. I divided her toys into 4 big bins and she only got one bin at a time. After a few days I'd cycle out the toys, so she didn't get sick of any toys. I also had a few special toys put aside for when I needed to do something like shower, cook dinner, etc.

Does he talk? Sign? It sounds like he needs your attention and doesn't have an appropriate way to get it. That would make sense as to why he'll fall and get hurt. Teach him to ask for you to pay attention to him (my dd says "mama, look at me" but when she was littler she'd just say "mama" or "come here"). Then, when he's consistently asking for you nicely, you can start asking him to wait. I started asking my dd to wait for short amounts of time - 2 seconds, 3. Now she'll wait for 20 minutes or so.

What kinds of activities do you set up for him when you need some time? He's too little to set up his own. Can you just provide him with all finger foods? Cut up all his meat, veggies, etc. so that he can feed himself? We did BLW, so no purees, and my dd has been feeding herself since 6 months - but it was all finger foods until recently.

Gina - posted on 12/15/2011

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Oh hun you just sound like a first time mom and we all learn from this and TRY not to do the same with the next one. I am not a believer in the cry it out method either I think that is just plain mean. Kids cry for a reason MOST of the time. My only advice is to ignore the behavior. That is really all you can do. My 4th child is 13 months old and when she starts with a fit I have started putting her in her bed to have the fit there so she doesn't hurt herself on a corner of the table or something like that. I don't make her stay there long before I go get her and sit down with her for a few minutes while I talk to her telling her if she has a fit she has to lay in her bed. It has taken some time but her fits are becoming shorter and I am able to get stuff done after her melt downs now.

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