how would you discipline a one year old.. hand slaps & slaps on the legs dont work anymore.

Amanda - posted on 12/05/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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She gets into stuff she's not suppose to - I know she is suppose to shes a baby but when she can't play with stuff like the christmas tree or the computer i tell her no & so on slap her hand and she does it again!!

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Heaven - posted on 12/22/2009

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I have had the same problem with my 14 month old son. I have noticed that telling him no and if he does it again I pick him up, say no and tell him he can't play with or touch that, I then put him in a different area usually were all his toys are and tell him to play with his toys. My husband says he really noticed a difference in how my son listens now when we say no. I was slapping his hand whenever he was touching something he wasn't suppose to and it seemed like he didn't really understand and then he started slapping me every time I picked him up to move him away. After I stopped and used this method the slapping started coming to a stop, he still slaps me sometimes when he gets mad and I then put him down get to his level and sternly tell him no hitting and walk away. It can be very frustrating, there were and still are days I want to pull out my hair when my son wouldn't listen, but consistency is key, don't give up. It feels so good when you start to see a difference. Good Luck.

Paula - posted on 12/13/2009

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be constant with it. do not let her play with it items. do not give in to her and try to find something else to entertain her.

Tiffany - posted on 12/11/2009

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I think it's funny how easy people are on their kids today! No wonder we live in a "microwave" society and today's generation has a sense of entitlement! People can't seem to remember that 20 years ago, you were a bad parent if you DIDN"T spank! I had to fetch my own switches, and I had better have came back with the right one!! You're doing something wrong if your kids learn hitting is ok from spankings!! I know hitting is wrong, and I was spanked.



As for a 1 yo, I have one (and 3 older ones). No, spankings are not effective. They are too young and lack the mental abilities as of yet to reason through the why's. And you can explain until you're blue!! Redirecting or distracting after firmly saying no is best. At this age, playing IS their job!



And, honestly, my personal favorite is a reward system. That's what works best in my house. Spankings are reserved for the serious offenses. Small bad behavior is ignored, good behavior (no matter how small AT FIRST) is praised. And this method comes straight from my daughter Development Psychologist!

Debbie - posted on 12/10/2009

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firm no-no's, redirection, and time-outs work best for me. At this age, the burden of keeping her our of trouble is on you. Keep no-nos out of her reach or offer alternative toys.

Karen - posted on 12/09/2009

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My sons started understanding time outs, or at least that they did not want them, around 15 mo. My 20 mo old now definitely gets it. It just took LOTS of time the first few times for them to stay in time out and not get up and play. I spent and entire afternoon putting him back in time out because he would get up, but eventually it worked!

Sarah - posted on 12/09/2009

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for me i slap my hands together to get her attention when my 17 month old does something she shouldn't. then she'll look at me and i say no and point to an oppiset direction. if that doesn't work than i'll call her over to me and distract her with something eles.

Veronica - posted on 12/08/2009

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i'm going through the same thing right now!!! but instead of calling it time out tell her it's quiet time. if she doesnt listen then it's quiet time. go to walmart and buy a kid chair that's only for quiet time keep it in the same spot. then if u want buy her a play chair different color so when u tell her "quiet time" she'll go staright for that chair and after awhile she'll get what she's not supposed to do and realize that if she does a certain thing that she'll have to sit in the blue chair. also whatever age ur child is is the number of mins u put them into time out. and then look at her face to face and explain in a kid way like "the tree is a no no not nice" and then after awhile she'll point to the tree and say no no and then you reply as "yeah it's a no no good girl!!" and you'll be set!! i hate hitting renee but sometimes u have to slap their hands so that they know that your serious!! good luck honey!!

Sandra - posted on 12/08/2009

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well with my son usually those work if not, i'd put them in a timeout, usually letting him sit in a chair and if he didn't listen he'd have to sit back down.

Geralyn - posted on 12/08/2009

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I don't think that one year olds even know what they can and cannot get into. Just imagine that there is a reset button, and you will have to redirect her many times before she gets it. Just be positive with her, and explain to her that something is dangerous or not for playing with. We got into the habit of explaining things to her even at an early age, and as their language develops - their receptive language develops at a faster pace than their expressive usually - they really do begin to understand.



You have to find your own natural style of parenting, but try to think out of the box. I love my parents dearly but I dare to parent/discipline differently that they did. Every interaction you have with her, even disciplining, is helping to shape her. I think that you already learned that hitting or slapping results in slapping back. I think, too, a big factor in successful disciplining is disciplining with respect and not fear.

Maggie - posted on 12/08/2009

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remove and distract! Tell her no, pick her up and move her away and give her something she can have. Hitting her at this age is pointless because they don't understand actions and consequences yet.
There are some things that one year olds will want to check out, especially big bright shiny things that are new - like the Christmas tree. Maybe you could hang some unbreakable ornaments at the bottom of the tree and let her touch/hold those occasionally. If you make it forbidden she will want it more!
As for the computer - kids want to do what you do. If you limit your computer use when she's around she won't be as interested in it.

Sheal - posted on 12/08/2009

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Spanking does not work at all. It's like teaching your child that slapping is the solution to slapping...

Have you tried (in this case, it's age appropo) parent present time outs and redirection methods. A favorite toy to redirect with, when the child does something that is inappropriate redirect by distracting the child with the favorite toy. Make it the best thing in the world, hype it up (Oh my look at what I've GOT, it's so cool, come check it out!!!).

Unfortunately, at that age repetitive redirection is what is needed. Children learn from repetitive activities.

Dina - posted on 12/07/2009

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I can relate to your frustration but I have to tell you based on my experience that hand smacks or any smacks for that matter don't work. Especially when you're talking about a 1 year old. They are naturally curious about the world around them so what better way to find out more than to investigate first hand! They don't know what limits are at that age so it's best that you seriously child proof EVERYTHING you don't want her to get into. As for the Christmas tree, try putting your decorations up high where she doesn't reach them and direct her attention else where. Good luck to you and remember to limit your expectations of her and provide her with a safe environment that she's allowed to explore in.

Samantha - posted on 12/07/2009

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slaps on the legs? That seems a little much. My son is 17 months old today, I swat him on the butt or the hand, Redirection also works very well. Get them interested in something else. Could be something similar (i.e. a toy phone instead of the real one) I always move my son to a different area when re-directing. When he just wont leave my cell phone alone, I go and get one of the real but play ones and take him into the living room and give it to him. If he wont stay out of the cupboards, I give him a toy tea set cup and move him to the other room with it. It works. When he absolutely wont listen, I swat him on the butt or smack his hand

Michelle - posted on 12/06/2009

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we dont spank as hitting it just teaching them hittin is ok... we do distraction at this age and start time outs closer to 2

[deleted account]

Consisency is the key to discipline. If you let her do or get away with something even just one time, you will have a much harder time. Set very clear boundaries. "You do not touch the computer. If you touch the computer you will sit in time out." Then, each and every single time she touches the computer, she goes straight into time out, even if it is inconvienent at the time. Have you ever watched super nanny? She has a good time out routine. 1. warning 2. explain why they are going to time out 3. time out, one minute for each year of life 4. explain again why they are in time out 5. make them apologize (she may be too young for that) 6. hugs and kisses. I'm not against spanking (I was spanked and I do spank) but time outs work the best for my 18 month old. The best part is she LOVES the hugs and kisses at the end of the time out.

Maureen - posted on 12/05/2009

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Please rethink the hand slap. The old saying that children learn what they live is true and someday your kids will make your helathcare decisions. An alternative is the time out. Give a warning first and then follow through. Use a kitchen timer and avoid reacting to attempts to get you attention or it won't work.

Kassie - posted on 12/05/2009

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yeh time out is good but make sure it isnt for too long because then she will forget what she has done. and u have to explain to her when u let her off time out what she has done. and make sure the time out isnt in a fun and exciting place. it needs to be boring and dull. no toys or anything

Amanda - posted on 12/05/2009

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that is true because she does slap back. lol she is baaaaaad . & I do know they learn by exploring

Alyssa - posted on 12/05/2009

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Unfortunately she's at that young age where she just doesn't understand. My son is 2 now but when he was that age, I found the only thing that really works is just to take them away from the situation and tell them no. Consistency is the key. I think at that age they are just too young to understand between right and wrong. Hang in there and just be consistent on taking her away from the situation and telling her no. Save the spankings for when she does something really bad :-) Hope this helped!



Alyssa

www.SwitchingStores.com/AlyssaMaliska

Jaime - posted on 12/05/2009

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Time out is effective most of the time, and you cant really expect her to mind all the time, she is so little after all! We use the counting system, to 3, and then if he is still doing the no no, then he gets timeout. Yes we have spanked him a few times, but only when he is doing something dangerous- playing with outlets, running away by a busy street.
I have noticed that kids that get hit when the do bad things-- tend to hit when they are playing with other kids more than kids that don't get hit. Also after awhile they will start to hit you back!!! (it is kind of unfair to tell her not to hit, if you are hitting her to tell her not to hit... right?) Good luck, and patience and repitition are your best friends!!!

Amanda - posted on 12/05/2009

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well it hurts my feeling when i have to yell at her or spank her. but i will deff try the time out chair.

Melanie - posted on 12/05/2009

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I know what your going though my daughter does the same thing all day every day .I have a time out chair i will put her in and tell her no you dont mess with whatever . i make her stay in the chair for a min if she gets up time stops till she is seated again . when time is up i look her in the face and tell her dont mess with that again are you will go back to the timeout chair .. it works most of the time . i dont like slapping are spanking her but i have once when she was running out to the road . good luck

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