I am having alot of problems with temper tantrums with my 2 yr old. What is normal and what is not? I can understand the ones for when we say no, but he has some pretty nasty ones and I have no idea as to what it is all about.

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Michelle - posted on 02/28/2009

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I have been having this same problem with my two and a half year old boy. Lately, it starts the second he wakes up either in the morning or from a nap. He starts crying, "I want you, Mom!" I try to reassure him I'm here and it doesn't seem to work. He'll scream, kick, pull hair, hit, bite.. I always swore this would never be "my kid". I wouldn't be the one in the restaurant with the kid that's out of control. I'd love to keep hearing suggestions on this topic--the corner doesn't work for me, his bedroom doesn't work, not even bribing him with rewards. He can be the absolute sweetest kid--when he's having a good day. But man, those days seem few and far between lately.

Julie - posted on 02/26/2009

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I have learned after having four children that two year olds will have their fits! I do believe that sometimes it is because they are frustrated and sometimes it is only to see what kind of reaction they can get out of you. Either way, I never put up with it. If you try to understand what they want or need they will just keep repeating the behavior. So when they start I would ask them what they need or could they show me? Even if the can't talk well at two years old they can point and show you what they want. And if it continued I would place them in a corner and walk away. they could sit there and have a fit as long as they want but they were not getting anything out of me with that kind of behavior. If you stay consistent it works! Hope this helps a little anyways :)

Kasandra - posted on 02/27/2009

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i have found with ALL of my kids (especially my boy who happens to be on the autism spectrum) that if their fits and tantrums are going to injure themselves, others, or be destructive to put them in the "love hug" untill they calm down. this is what i have done: sit on the floor and place them between your legs with their backs to you. cross your legs over thiers to keep them in place (if your child is stronger then you proly want to sit against a wall or couch or something) and cross their arms over thier chests and hug them. not hard. it shouldnt hurt at all if its done right. watch your head tho if your child is a head banger... and tell them that you are loving them and as soon as they calm down so they wont hurt themselves or anyone else you will let them go. with my kids i always wispered in thier ear while i was holding thme. sometimes it would take 10 minutes before they were calm enough for me to let them loose, other times it was just a quick minute and they were done. at least then they are safe and so is everyone else. i havent figured out how to stop the tantrums. my "typical" kids seem to outgrow them... but my emmett still has his meltdowns yet... good luck

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Lina - posted on 06/12/2014

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My 3yo used to have long whingy tantrums almost daily, up to an hour sometimes. Tough love didnt work on her because if i ignore her she feels unloved & whinged even more for my attention - & she never gives in. Then i decided to show extra artention & affection when she's near a tantrum- talk gently to calm her, a hug and kiss. It needed lots of patience but it did wonders a lot of the times. Otherwise i find a good time after a tantrum & explain to her what she could have done instead if having a fit. But as she neared her 3 year - the tantrums subsided. She still cries if frustrated but soon stops or 15 minutes tops. I guess its different for different kids depending on their personality.

Amanda - posted on 06/10/2014

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When a tantrum happens it can be effective to give the child a timeout, however I agree with April, if you dwell on the bad behaviour all they know if what not to do. Which is not positive at all. Try to reward him for not having a tantrum, use positive reinforcement!

Christina - posted on 05/28/2014

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I think that if they have older siblings they get frustrates because they can't do the same like she was to be in the pool alone o wants to run outside its so stressful.

April - posted on 03/01/2009

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We have the same issues with our 2 y/o! It can be so frustrating! Distraction has worked the best for us.We try to change the subject and deter his attention. If the behavior won't stop, he gets time out. I've found that the more you dwell on the bad behavior, the worse it gets and the louder the screams are. I can tell when he's dragging the sobbing on longer just to get attention. Most days this works, but some days are worse than others as you all know, and I just have to try to be more patient.

[deleted account]

I understand about ignoring, I do that, but do you just ignore or do you send them to the corner/bedroom first?

Katie - posted on 02/28/2009

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I have had these problems with my boy for a while, most of the time its when he cant have what he wants or do what he wants

If i tell him no he smacks me or pulls my hair, if i told him to stop he would do it ten times as bad

A lot of the time he would hit his head on things like me, his chair, the floor



One day i had enough and i put him into his playpen (travel cot), which is in the living room where we are, he was crying for a a few minutes but i realised it was for attention, the way he would stop crying to listen or see what we were doing, so i didnt look at him and sure enough within 5 minutes he had stopped and was playing with a toy and giggling his head off

Gemma - posted on 02/27/2009

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My 2, nearly 3 year old has frequent temper tantrums...most are in frustration at not getting his own way, others can be for attention and others just because he feels like it! We try to ignore his tantrums and not react to them, we also found lots of positive praise when he is playing nicely and being a good boy as it is drawing attention to him for doing nice things!

[deleted account]

My daughter is the same way, I just ignore her when she's doing it and it's usually over within minutes. Sometimes it's over no, sometimes it's just because she's having a bad day, other times it's because she just doesn't want to be around people. Distraction helps on those times, I try to make up a silly game to get her into a better mood.

Jo - posted on 02/27/2009

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My 2 year old has temper tantrums so bad she smacks her head on the ground and gets bruses.. I tried the naughty corner but that did not help so I took her to her room as it is carpeted and she calmed down I am finding these tantrums really hard so any help would be greatly appreciated

Antoinette - posted on 02/26/2009

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What I have found out is that what happens because the little ones can not always properly say what they need or want they get so fustrated because they can not be understood. they have major fits of fustration and rage, I have experienced a few of those with my son, he is 21 months old. All we can do is try our best to understand what it is they are trying to tell us. As time goes on and they can express better these fits should decrease. I hope I have helped

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2009

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Thank you for posting this!!! I'm not alone!!! My daughter has the worst fits! i just let her scream and roll around on the floor until she's out of breath....there is nothing I can do to make her stop. Sometimes I think she's gonna choke she screams and cries - and most of the time is over nothing!

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