I could really use some encouragement!!!

Sarah - posted on 04/18/2009

Erinn, I know this sounds cliche (I know this because people have said this to me as well and I just wanted to smack them) but it is totally true-this too shall pass. I have two children 4 and 2 1/2 and at this time I am a single mother. You need to call on your husband to step up and be a man and give you a break. If he won't step on his own, you tell him that you are taking a time out and he will watch the kids and then lock yourself in the bathroom. I take a couple of minutes in the bathroom by myself whenever I feel like I'm losing it and it really does help. Do not give up. Your children are completely worth everything you are going through right now, even though it might not feel like it right now.

Carin - posted on 04/17/2009

I remember some days thinking "my life is now hell" I was really having a hard time, even when twins were a year old. I was just so down. Then, when I was just trying to regroup in the living room, my son decided it would be fun to climb into the dog's little kennel with him and was probably pulling his ears...needless to say, dog nipped him...a nick near the eye and mouth, but now those are there for life. My bad day was worse. So, if you need a break, definitely TAKE IT! But make sure to put the kids in a safe place...like their cribs...beforehand and then just go in another room and breathe for a few minutes.
Luckily, now that they're 2, they sleep at night and we can communicate a bit. Prayers have helped, God has always made sure we can cover what we need to cover--food bills, etc. somehow.
I still fight with feelings of inadequacy, though, that I'm not a good Mom, or that other people do a heck of a lot better than I do. It's terrible and not helpful. I think the best thing that helped me was taking kids for a stroller ride outside.
We know it's tough and I'm sure we all wish we could be there for you. The best thing we can do is be here online for you and send you our love and support. Things will change, try to give yourself a pick me up however you can.

Stephanie - posted on 04/17/2009

Keep your head up! It has to be very hard! No matter what -you and your hubby need to be a team. Talk about things and figure them out together. Pray A LOT it helps - God works miracles. He is amazing!!!!! Since your husband is unemployed have you thought about getting a part time job doing something you like but, you can earn some money. It gets you out of the house and you can figure out who you are again and meet friends and it would get your mind off things?!?! It is tough! Keep your strength up for your kiddies they need mommy - to be happy and healthy!!!!! I will keep you in our prayers:) Stephanie

Yvonne - posted on 04/17/2009

Hey Erinn, wish I could be there for you to watch your kiddies so you sould go out and let your hair down. I don't know if this helps but just remember that God never puts anything in front of you that you can't handle. Think of it this way. You have 2 beautiful children who love and adore you for just being you. :) A friend once told me that you need to thank God that you are exhausted because it means you are surrounded by a loving family. I know it's hard try get away each day for 10-15 mins, go for a walk, go water the garden, or leave the kids at home with Dad while you go to the shop. And girl try Peppermint tea with a lillte honey to sweeten it. It really works a treat, or even Calomine tea (sorry don't know the spelling). All else fails do what I wish I could do. Go out and get a part time job and leave hubby to look after the kids, just so you can regain your sanity. :)

Stephanie - posted on 04/16/2009

Hi Erinn! I can so relate to you! I just turned 30, homeschool my two kiddos, and take care of my two foster daughters. The day after day routines of the same things tend to get to us stay at home moms. What we do is so amazing, and should be fulfilling, but it doesn't always fee that way. I just started an inhome business, and I can honestly say that it has lifted me up.... it has given me something else to focus on and put energy into. I feel like I have more of a purpose and something to strive for. I also want to say that I love Jesus, and would not have started this if I didn't have HIS and my hubbys approval. Anyway, maybe something like working from home would help you be encouraged and feel successful!

I pray God blesses you exceedingly, abundantly above!

~Stephanie

Laura - posted on 04/16/2009

Join the club!! No punn intended. I haven't slept since my almost 9 month old was born either and my 3 year old has some moments where I swear gray hairs are multiplying by the minute. Hang in there, you're not alone. It has gotten better each month, but of course, it's always great to get away for at least a short time each week- even the grocery store alone... :)

Joanne - posted on 04/16/2009

Oh geeze... your poor darl :( I have only an 18 month old and I feel as low at that at times..... I have no idea how you do it!!!!!! You say your husband is unemployed... is he able to watch the kids while you take a bath or a quick walk or have a nap? Have you told him how you feel? Where I live we have Ngala who we can ring if it all gets too much and they have people they can send out to you to give you a little break etc. I do know that feeling you're talking about though.... it's as if you forget who you are because you have no time whatsoever to do the things you enjoy and what made you who you are.... it's as though you live to just please others. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though so hang in there. You have two beautiful children and they are growing every day. They won't be this small forever. You'll get back to wll the things you used to love to do. You'll get nights where you can actually sleep. When I used to cry at the end of those really hard days my husband used to say "Jo that's a day you'll never have to repeat again." and it's so true. You sound as though you need family help. Do you have your mom and dads around or any family who can help a little? Maybe you need to see your doctor because you're going to get very sick if you don't get a little bit of sleep. He might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help? I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I tip my hat to you because I have found having a baby so hard that I have pretty much made the decision not to have any more, for the simple reason that I couldn't cope with a child and a new baby. You have done it though, and you've made it this far. You should be so proud of yourself because you have achieved something in life that I am not capable of. Try to put some nice music on, take a bath or shower, try to go for a walk and get some sun on your cheeks and try to keep your chin up. Things are going to get better.... you'll be ok. Chin up and I hope you are able to sort something out. I hope your hubby is ok too and able to find some work soon. xxx