I think my husband doesnt find me attractive

Toni - posted on 02/22/2012

Hey guys. Thanks for all the advise.

I did talk to my husband about it and I was just freaking out over nothing.

He started the account on Tagged the night before I noticed it, and he was going to tell me about it, but he noticed I was acting different and didnt want to stress me out. He thought it was just me getting my period, lol.

I feel alot better now as he has cancelled his account with Tagged. He just went on there to see if it had gotten better, but when I spoke to him about it he had no problems with canceling the account to make me feel better.

Phillipa - posted on 02/22/2012

The best thing is to discuss this issue with your husband and find out what he likes and what needs to be improved. Here in Africa, Zimbabwe most of the men like big women and they are not afraid to tell you. Mine likes big bums kikikikiki!!!!!!

Colleen - posted on 02/16/2012

Toni, you need to talk to him. If you are open and honest with him and tell him you are feeling insecure about your weight and feel he does not find you sexy, he may ease your fears and re assure you. If you don't give him that chance, you cannot fix anything. I to am so insecure. I have a hard time feeling good about myself and in the beginning of my marriage I was afraid to say anything because I felt he would think I was searching for a compliment and being dramatic. But, one day he pointed out how pretty I am and said I need to overcome my insecurities because it will help with my confidence! I worked on this a lot, and I have days where I just feel I look so ugly, but he helps me and as long as he finds me pretty, I'm happy! But, having confidence also helps your self esteem! I'm sure you are beautiful, If you are naturally thin, that is how you are, don't beat yourself up, he married you for all of you. Give him a chance, talk with him, it may make him feel needed too. Us insecure girls tend to try to fix everything ourselves in an attempt to over compensate!! Good luck!! Keep you chin up!!

Michelle - posted on 02/15/2012

have you tried protein shakes that help you gain weight? I know here in qld aus. you can get small ones for about $20 just need to talk to your pharamcist to make sure they are the right protein shakes (not the weight loss or supplement ones). If you want to try something new then maybe start off small in the heat of the moment just tell him or show him to do something then gradually work it up. It sounds like you have always been skinny so just remember that he fell for you while you were skinny. I read a story where the guys partner would wear wigs and he felt he was with a different girl each time, if you want to try something more extravagent try googling ideas to see how to set it up so its like a surprise to your partner but make sure you work him up to the thought and make him excited about having sex first or he could be not up to it when you surprise him and that could be awkward. But just remember he fell for you the way you are which means he is attracted to you maybe he just needs to be reminded. (you could try to make yourself look the way you used to when you met if that image has changed or try a new look altogether)

Toni - posted on 02/14/2012

Sorry about the confusion.

What i mean by open reationship is as long as he speaks to me about it first, he is alowed to do pretty much anything.

What i mean by I cant talk to him about sex is I physically cant talk to him about requests, things id like to try., ect. Its like i get stage fright. I completely choke up and cant say anything, then I start freaking out.

Ive been thinking about it all morning and i think he may be thinking im to boring in bed.

I dunno, maybe im just freaking out for nothing.

Its not that he is doing this that has me worried, its that he is doing it behind my back when he knows I dont really mind, as long as he talks to me about it.

Ashlie - posted on 02/14/2012

I agree with Kaitlin and you should talk to him about it. I am confused on the part of...you said that you have an open relationship, but you can't talk about sex to him? Maybe you should slip into padded underwear and see if he'll notice your bigger butt? It'll give you curves! Just a thought! Don't be hard on yourself at all girl be proud to be a woman and a great mother! Hold your head high in and out of the bedroom!

Toni - posted on 02/14/2012

Im not worried about porn, hell, i watch it as much as he does. Im not worried about him talking to other chicks or having a perv, Im worried about the physical characteristics of the girls he chats to.

All of them are on the larger side, and he has said before t hat he likes girls with some meat on them.

I am really skinny and I cant put weight on. I try but the best I can do is put on a few kilos , which I lose almost instantly.

Him talking to these girls isnt what is making my self esteem low, my ex somewhat ruined my self esteem.

Kaitlin - posted on 02/14/2012

I think you should talk to him, very honestly. It will be very uncomfortable and awkward.



I had the same issue with my husband before we were married- he was addicted to pornography and didn't realize how much it hurt me and my self esteem, and our relationship. We worked through it together. He now no longer uses any pornography it all. It was a tough and long journey that we overcame together.