im having a hard time with a baby daddy issue.....please help.

Melissa - posted on 03/02/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

10

11

2

so the father of my child is currently in jail.....for an assault charge on me. he gets out very soon. he has mental issues that require him to be on meds for the rest of his life in order to stay stable. he has always been the best man to me other than his temper getting out of control and gettting physical. it was nothing too bad but that is besides the point. i am torn as to whether i put myself back in that situation and accept the fact he has issues or sit back and wait for him to make the biggest change of his life and turn all of this around and make it right. not only for himself but his daughter and the girl hes fallen head over heels for......me. i love him dearly and am more than willing to look past everything that has happened if it never happens again and we can be happy like we were. i so desperatly want us to be a family again. hes missed so much in his daughters life. so many mile stones. i dont know what to do. i dont want to stress out my family anymore than i already have. any suggestions? please dont look down on me for wanting to give him another chance. i dont need critisism. i just need suggestions and meaningful thoughts on this very touchy and painful matter in my life. thank you

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

8 Comments

View replies by

Ashley - posted on 03/11/2010

11

15

0

Take him back and make him take his medication and tell him if he loves you he wont hit you again and if he does you will wait til hes sleeping and split his head open by a two by four and then i bet he doesnt touch you again just keep being strong you did a good decision but seriously stand up for yourself and for your daughters sake hope this helps hope everything works out.

Melissa - posted on 03/11/2010

10

11

2

thank you all. your help has been greatly appreciated. to sandra... most of the time no he does not remember doing it. which is a whole other thing in it self. but he is currently on meds. we have been seperated...goin on 8 months now. hes been on the meds...(theres quite a few..for different reasons) for about 2 or 3 months now. so so far things are looking up and hes putting in the effort to make this big change in his life...not only for himself but for his daughter and i. more will come and ill make the update as it comes. thanks again all :)

Sandra - posted on 03/05/2010

68

13

12

Safety first. He needs time to work through his emotions, and you need to protect yourself as well as your daughter. I agree, that gradual is the way to go. Seek counseling (family counseling). Does he remember doing it? I have a son in a similar situation, and it is a very tough situation to be in, but at the same time you can not sacrifice yourself. Just make sure you are safe. Keep us posted, and I wish you the best of luck.

Lauren - posted on 03/04/2010

9

12

0

oh my... i suggest the same. You have to think about the safety of your daughter. You may not always be his target. Even if meds can help whos to say he wont forget or just get tired of taking them one day like my ex. I know its hard when they havent cheated or wronged you but physical things are on another level. Theyre things they cant HELP... and that's the problem. Im sorry youre in that situation especially since hes your childs father. I hope we're all helpful. Be very safe! good luck! i hope all goes well. :)

[deleted account]

I agree with both of these moms... Give it some time. Start out slowly and make him prove to you he's changed. Have him see a counselor or go to anger management... I really think it would help. I really hope that he changes and stays on his meds for you and your daughter. Hope everything goes well. You are all in my thoughts

[deleted account]

My advice would be the same.. get him to prove how serious he is bout getting on track and keeping on his meds... have the visits and family time but take it slowly... remember too your child has had you all to themselves for a while so interducing someone else onto the mix even if it is her dad needs to be done gently so she can get use to him again and change in their enviroment... Good Luck but follow your instincts

Jamiee - posted on 03/02/2010

8

12

3

U just always have remember its not about ur love for him anymore its about ur daughter now and whats best for her.I've been where ur at before the father of my kids also had a temper. U should give it time let him get his life back together first, start off with small family visits, let him show u hes ready and has changed first. I know that feeling of just wanting to be family. Hope all goes well. Keep me posted!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms