Keeping calm, while being a stay at home mother??

Brittany - posted on 11/20/2011

I have been a stay at home mom with my son since I was about 5 months pregnant, and I have found that I get really stressed out and short tempered with my son as well. The only way I can de-stress is to have some alone time away from the house. I go to a movie or take a long bath with some music on to block out the noises of the house. Just an hour every other day and I feel so much better and don't lose my temper as much as I used to.

Ashley - posted on 11/15/2011

I am sure that my boss would have made me manager but with me working part time she needed full time managers and I wouldn't really make enough to pay for child care for me to work full time. All around I am just stressed out.

Sarah - posted on 11/14/2011

Sounds like you can have alot of stress at the work too!!! ahahahah! If you are taking on the responciblities like a manager why dont you look for a possition as a manager? (When you want to come back to work)

Ashley - posted on 11/14/2011

The only thing about selling avon or doing anything like that is that I have an issue with speaking with a lot of people around me that I do not know. (Stage Fright I guess). I always feel like I do not know what I am trying to say. I wish I didn't have that issue otherwise I would probably be a lot more outgoing. I get embarrassed really easily. I only get out to work as a waitress and I get there and I pretty much end up babysitting 15-22 year old kids. I am one of few that have children there and I end up taking responsibility there too and I am not a manager or anything like that.

Sarah - posted on 11/14/2011

I understand what your going through as well! My husband and I moved to Mexico (his home) and I have 2 girls, one will be 2 in feb and the other 1 in feb. Only with me I dont know anyone here, just stay inside with the girls....It drives me nutts! Ive been here for almost 2 years and cant wait to go home! :( Back home it was easier to get around.

With you maybe you need to wait a little more and you can put the kids in daycare even if its pt? what about working from home like avon or something for the time you are at home?

Summer - posted on 11/09/2011

I also was selling Pure Romance for a while which got me out of the house for at least 4 hours a week. which was really nice. As soon as my daughter is Passed out thats when I tend to take a deep breath and try to find my peace. grab a hot cup of tea ( or a beer) depending on just how fried I am.... I also take that time to catch up on my facebook/COM or internet shopping. I also Bake a lot, which she is able to "help" with ( Im trying to start a cake decorating buisness) and I also Nanny for a friend, but Im able to take my LO with e, so she gets a play date I get out of my own house, plus GET PAID for it !!!! granted its not a LOT of money but its definately enough for a pair of nice shoes or new cake pans or soething else I have my eye on. My hubby also will let me go shower and keep little bit carraled for me so i can "wash my day off"

I hope I gave you some helpful tips.

and the Gummi bear thing ROCKS !!!!! when she kinda gets off on her own tangent all I have to do is ask her " do you wanna a gummi bear" and POOF does just what i asked.... she even knows there are certain things she does that warent Gummi Bear rewards and she knows to ask for them!!!! its super cute !!!! But GOD FORBID ..... NEVER EVER RUN OUT !!!!! I made that mistake once.....

Ashley - posted on 11/09/2011

Summer, I should try the gummi bear trick my 4 year old is starting to get my nerves all turned inside out with his not listening... it is hard enough to get one child ready let alone 2, but add now my stomach is so big I can barely bend over or do half the things I did a few months ago!
As for mommy time Ashley, I suggest as soon as the kids heads hit the pillows find a quiet place to enjoy a tea/drink (depending on your day lol) grab a book or magazine and tell your husband you are not available for 30mins. I do it every other night and I love it. Or I get on the phone with my best friend and we talk but I wont let her mention my kids haha. As for getting out of the house see if there is anywhere you can volunteer.. I do with my sons playschool and the community center and it gives me 2 nights a month that I get to be near adults and like minded people.

Ashley - posted on 11/09/2011

My husband always tells me to "Pick my battles", I am still trying to do that. It is very hard to break a habit once I start. I really appreciate everything you all are telling me. I need to just pick something and stick with it. I am really thankful that I found this site otherwise I would still be stressing and yelling.

Summer - posted on 11/09/2011

Im a SAHM of a 2 1/2 yr old little girl, there are some days that I sware my neighbors can hear me....and me getting fazzled and fried was NOT helping either of us. so i talked to a few friends, found out i am NOT ALONE and that was a big help. but i needed ways to "fix it" so Im gonna give you the info I was givin.... here you go...

Pick your battles.... sometimes its JUST NOT WORTH IT...

Sometimes just let them freak out and walk away from them and let them sort it on their own.

** my personal favorite !! AND OMG IT WORKS in SECONDS !!!** POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.... in a nut shell.... I call it "Gummy bear training" When EVER they doing something RIGHT or what they are asked to do the FIRST TIME.... or do Whatever you have taught them to do, give them ONE GUMMY BEAR !!! with my daughter when ever she goes pee pee on the potty, she gets ONE gummy bear.... when she goes and sits down the first time i tell her, she gets one, when we are outside playing and i tell her to come back to me, and she does she gets one gummy bear.... See where I am going with this??? it became a totaly POSSITVE enviroment for us BOTH... Im less stressed and shes not fighting me.... ( yes I carry a packet of them in my pocket) and I dont use ACTUAL GUMMY BEARS.... I use the 100% fruit, fruit chewy snacks. I have had people tell me that it reminded them of "training a dog" but I'll be damed it WORKS !!!! and she KNOWS that if I tell her to go "inside" she will get one if she does it the first time i say it.... if I have to say it again, or MAKE her come inside, no gummy bear and chances are she gets a swat on the hiney for running away from me.

The other thing that works is a CUP OF HOT TEA ( for mom !!) Chamomile tea is calming and will help

Kelina - posted on 11/08/2011

Like tara said you need to get some time to yourself. Go out for dinner, go see a movie with a friend, heck go out for coffee with a friend! just make sure you leave the kids at home! Also try to get outside lots, being housebound can contribute to depression, and maybe see if there's an indoor gym or soemthing nearby. When we moved, I ended up asking the pubic health nurse if there were any mommy groups in town because I didn't know how to find them. Turns out there's lots!

Ashley - posted on 11/08/2011

Thank you Tara for your advice. I had just moved out into the country out of town and I have not made really any friends that are moms. Along with being the stay at home mom I work part time after my husband gets home, so its hard for me to get away with a friend without the kids. Along with all of that my husband is in a band that practices once a week and they have a gig every other weekend.I have been trying to get a day where I can have it all to myself and go to the spa or doing something like that to just get away and relax.

Tara - posted on 11/08/2011

Hi Ashely, I am a stay at home mom to a 3 yr old boy and a 4 month old girl. I completely understand what you are going through!! I find I get very short with my son and I can be a yeller. I hate it to and I feel bad about it. Do you have any alone time, YOU time? I find that can be a big challenge between kids and well my husband plays a lot of hockey. I have just recently went through a lot of frustration with being at home so I started up a mommy time group! just a group of friends, also mom's and we are getting together once a month no matter what, going out for dinner, pottery class or whatever! I have also been trying to get out with a friend every now and then in the evening whether it be for dinner, drinks or coffee. Just to get that escape, leave the house (without kids!) and have that adult time. It is so important and sometimes we really let it slip away from us. Or even just taking an hour or so in the evening when your hubby is home to go read. During the day when I am frustrated with my son I have taken a time out myself, yup locked myself in the bathroom lol. Sometimes we need to just step away for a minute or two. He is in preschool now twice a week and during that couple of hours I read instead of cleaning, dishes, laundry...all the things that are in my head and I have had to stop myself to allow myself to take the time to just sit and relax. I have found it's made a difference with how I have been feeling and also my marriage.