Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, MINE!

Ashley - posted on 02/12/2009

I agree with Marlene on this being a phase.  I have a 2.5 year old who is in preschool full time and she does this. We also have friends her age over to play regularly. She doesn't have any siblings her age. So, she has tons of time to "share" with friends at preschool and with her own toys at home.

When she gets on a "mine" kick, we tell her the truth and teach her good manners. If the item is hers, we agree with her and say "Yes, it is yours but you need to share. Your friend is playing with it right now and you can be next." If she has it and her friend wants it, we tell her that she is not being nice and we tell her friend that he/she can be next. If the item is NOT hers, we tell her "That's not yours, its _____'s. If you ask nicely, you can be next." In any of these situations, if she pitches a fit or grabs/throws the toys, she goes straight to time out. We just try to be really patient, calm and consistent.

These techniques seem to really be working. She's been in this phase for about 6 months and rarely pitches a fit now over a "mine" issue. Of course, she pitches fits for other reasons now... ultimate patience... :)

Marlene - posted on 02/12/2009

I think that the Mine thing is just a phase. My 27 month old does this as well. He is in a home based daycare, and he totally still does this.

What we have/are doing to minimize this is to talk to him when he gets on a mine tangent and explain to him that he has to share, and that this toy can't go home with us.Then, if necessary, we make him share, and if he goes to tantrum stage, he goes on a time out.

Now like your son, it is rare that someone comes over to our house to play, so I'm not sure how he would behave if someone is over. I'm kind of interested in having him have someone over now to see how he shares.

Gabrielle - posted on 02/11/2009

Try taking your son to places where he can interact with other kids more often. It's pretty common for kids his age to "Mine!" everything, but he can learn some interactive skills that will help some. Do you have a Kids Clubhouse or Kidsville or other place where you can take him during the day to play for a few hours? We have several places like that near us that we have used for playdates with friends. It's a kid-friendly area so you can chat with friends while you all watch your kids, and they get to be around other kids to learn those skills.

Lisset - posted on 02/11/2009

My son is 2 also, and for a few months he's started on that "Mine!" statement. At first I thought it was kinda funny, but now I try to explain to him that everything is not "his." He too doesn't ever see other kids, I am a Ft student, but also a stay-at-home mom after school. My husband works second shift. So all he ever sees is us. I think it's pretty normal, but I totally understand what you mean.

Jenny - posted on 02/11/2009

hi i cant tell you how u can stop it but if you do find out as believe me, i know what your saying as my little boy does it to,even if i take him to the library to play with other people, everythings still hes, well let me know if you get round the problem,,id love 2 solve it