moms, do you think that kids between the ages2n5 should b punished?Ask a Question!
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Candyce - posted on 06/17/2011
Actually.... I think it's just that the standards of "abuse" have changed. While even a generation or two ago, taking your kid out behind the woodshed was acceptable and beneficial, while now everyone is aghast at the thought of even 5 licks with a belt! It's all in perspective
Amber - posted on 04/07/2010
My Daughter is 28months old and she knows right from wrong. i actually punished her before she was 2, because she did know she wasnt suppost to be doing some things. dont get me wrong i gave her warnings and let her know what she was doing but she is smart children are people like to under estemate how smart they are sometimes. and there is nothing wrong with sending them to there room when they are crying to try and get there way. I dont beat my daughter but one swat on the rear or hand wont hurt them. my daughter is awsome when we go out in public she is never the one that is screaming from one end of the store to the next because she does know its not right.
Hannah - posted on 04/07/2010
It depends what you mean by punishing. I dont think putting my daughter on the naughty step is mean when she has scribbled on the walls or taken all her toys and clothes out of her draws! Thats my way of punishing her when she behaves badly - I always tell her why she is being punished so that she develops an understanding of what she has done wrong. But to be honest its not so much punishing them as it is teaching them and disciplining them. Sometimes i will take her dummy away or not give her treats if she is having tantrums or lashing out. Obviously beating is on another level - that definitely is neglect and abuse. I find that shouting is useless as your toddler will just shout or scream louder - If you stay calm you get a much better reaction from your child - talk about it to them even if they don't understand, as they will eventually get the picture! At the end of the day its best to be calm but firm with toddlers. If you don't try and build some kind of 'ground rules/understanding' between you and your child they will just run wild!
Stacia - posted on 04/06/2010
also agreeing that punishment and abuse is 2 different things. if a child gets into things they know they are not suppose to i think its okay to smack their hands or butts and tell them no but not to sit there and hit them where they get hurt or leave marks just enough to teach them that its bad. I hate being in a store or place where these moms treat their kids like they are worthless and drag them around for no reason just because they asked for something or didnt really do anything wrong! the other day i was at the park with my kids and this girl who was probably around my age (20) and i think her little girl was walking away from her and she said something to her about gettin in the stroller so the little girl stopped and got in and the mom exact words were "yeah, thats what i thought" i was like omg i turned to my friend and told her what happened and said what was she plannin on doing if she didnt listen beat her? its ridiculous
Sarah - posted on 04/05/2010
i think kids should be disciplined but not by being spanked no child should be hit i was spanked as a child and i was scared of my parents i don't want my kids to be scared of me i want them to respect me so they get a warning and if they still misbehave they get put in time out or a toy taken away
Kathy - posted on 04/05/2010
i have a three year old and a five year old and yes i do think they can e punished but not over doing it i think time out is a good thing but i will have to admit my five year old throws the worst tantumms and ive learned the hard way that just giving him what he wants dont work and time out dont always work with him either so i end up giving myself a time out
Emma - posted on 04/05/2010
children should be punished but not by being smacked i beleive they should be decplined from when they understand right from wrong i beleve deplined kids grow up to respect you more my children have there naughty step or there bedroom works a treat
Sharon - posted on 04/04/2010
Punishment should be removing a fav toy, no sweets for a day or two. No t.v or something like that. I believe it is very wrong to beat a child. A bold corner is a great idea and works well in our house. If the bad behaviour continues the child is sent to their bedroom which doesnt have any toy's in it.
Ella Marie - posted on 04/04/2010
true punishment is different from discipline, it depends on the child how they understand at their young minds...when you see that they understand when you try to explained to them things, i guess that's the time you have to do some spanking or mild punishment when they KEEP REPEATING some moves that are really WRONG for a child to do...and explained to them why you spank or punish them, child really needs explanation when they are spank by moms or dad, when we try to disciplined them.
Caroline - posted on 04/03/2010
Discipline is something that should be there early on for a child to know their boundaries which are there for their safety and security, and is essential in the long run to their understanding of the world and the 'rules' in society. Using the word 'Punished' puts it in a different light and suggests an idea of harm within the question to me. It is personal choice to give a smack, but I believe you reep what you sow and by showing that a smack is ok to give out puts in the mind that it may be ok to give it back. Child abuse is a whole other story and shows when some sort of pleasure is obtained from administering a beating here and there no matter what age the child is. This is never ok.
Kathleen - posted on 04/03/2010
Age 2-5 is not too young for discipline...However, 'spanking' is a little much for a two year old. My Son just turned two and we've been using a 'mini time-out' for a few months now when he behaves badly (ie: hitting, screaming, etc). He goes and sits on the bottom step of the staircase for a short time until he has calmed down. It works so well, that all I have to do is point and say, "Go sit!", and he complies! I think he, like other children, WANT to have a break from their frustration! The only time I've EVER swatted my Son's hand is when it was an immediate safety concern and he needed to know that the situation was VERY serious and he ABSOLUTELY should not do it again, (ie: reaching for a hot stove, sharp object, etc). I also feel badly whenever I have to raise my voice or take something away due to his behavior, and when he's done w/ his mini time-out, I give him hugs, tell him he is still loved and also reinforce the lesson, (ie: we don't hit...). I don't know yet if we will employ a 'spanking' in the future...But that decision will not come for a few years yet.
Abuse is physical or emotional trauma that is uncontrollable by the abuser. There is a HUGE difference between that and disciplining your child.
Marlizet - posted on 04/02/2010
Punishment is so important starting at a young age as they understand muh more than what we think. It gives them boundaries, rules and security things that makes them feel safe as you are in control. The more you repeat it from very oung the more the rule becomes second nature to them as they get older. If you do not punish from young you will have your hands full after 5. Mine is already challenging authority and he is only 4.
Heather - posted on 04/02/2010
displined.... some view it differenly. my take on it is.. my son is 3 he is constantly trying my patients but i only spank him as a last resort... i have tried corners and time outs but he gets back up and does what he is not supposed to again 5 mins later. or now just not at all... i usually take his toys away if he does wrong..if you don't disapline them early and they see that they can get away with alot it is going to keep continuing so they can see howfar they can push the bounderies.
The moms that go to the extremes need to be punished them selves. i don't see how they can abuse their kids.... i mean if i spank mine i feel bad and go and give him hugs ( i don't even spank mine hard. and always on his bottom..)
Anna - posted on 04/02/2010
yes, children should be disciplined, but the "punishment" or "discipline"should go with the crime and the age,even the child. Some children@ 2 don't understand some of the same things as other children their same age.You have to start somewhere, so start small if you have to.
Yonedi - posted on 04/02/2010
Punishment is a away to help mold them for really teaching them...the sooner you start the easier it will be for you and the child. With out rules and guildlines how will children know what bounderies to respect. Face it mom we only do it to protect and help our little ones so that one day they will be great well rounded adults. Punishment doesn't mean hitting it means guildlines to help your child. The method is up to you and often depends on each child. Remember what works for one may not work for another.
Amy - posted on 04/02/2010
Punishment is just part of discipline. It isn't a different thing altogether, and punishment can mean taking something away from the child, putting them in time out, speaking sternly to them, or spanking. Children need discipline even before 1 year of age. If they have started being able to crawl or walk and are getting into things that they shouldn't, they need to be taught not to do that, but you don't need to spank them to teach them that. At the same time, some kids don't respond to non-physical punishment. It all comes down to the childs temperament. I've found that talking about feelings helps a lot with disciplining my kids and it's better than spanking because it's giving them life skills as well. Most toddlers don't have much (if any) empathy for other people, so explaining how their actions make me feel helps develop empathy in them.
I personally do not agree with spanking at all, but have had to resort to it with my step-son because of the parenting he receives at his mothers house. When he was 2, I found out from observing his play behaviors and then asking his mom that he was being spanked and then sent to time out at home and at the baby-sitters house. That is overkill to me - pick one or the other - otherwise you are punishing the child twice for the same offense. It's taken 3 years, but I've finally managed to stop using spanking with my step-son. Unfortunately, because he was spanked so much at his mom's house, after about 6 months of her spanking him, that was the ONLY punishment he would respond to. Now I send him to time out, make him deal w/the natural consequences of his actions, or speak sternly to him. Occasionally I will tell him that I am disappointed in him - and he almost always starts crying when I say that to him.
Jodi - posted on 04/02/2010
my husband and I struggle with this all the time with out 2y8mth son - he's not a deliniquent but he's no angel either. My husband has been taught by his family that spanking is the way to go whereas I'm trying my hardest to make that last resort - I find if it was up to the older generation (our parents etc) they would get spanked several times a day, every day. We find time outs and going to bed early hit the hardest with our son - the temptation with spanking is that its immediate whereas with the other methods it requires more patience. At this stage we have decided not to spank, but we'll see if he starts pushing our infant son down the stairs!
Racquel - posted on 04/01/2010
i think it depend how u punish the child for ryezel before u use to hit her but you know you have to explained why that thing happened and let her/him realize that he is wrong and you to as her mam explain to her why and that you are so sorry to do that and explained the outcome of what might happen...
Amanda - posted on 04/01/2010
I think its abuse when a parent doesnt disciplined their children between ages 2 to 5. These are the years when the mind is making connects inculding when a child learns what is right and wrong.
Jessica - posted on 04/01/2010
I believe children should be punished within reason. The punishment should fit the bad behavior. I don't believe in beating your child or talking down to your child but I do believe that we need to teach our children right from wrong.
Stacey - posted on 04/01/2010
Yes. Here's the kicker; every kid is different and respond to different reinforcement. I have two children so using positive reinforcement for the child that is doing well is a very powerful tool. Your child wants to make you happy so they will clean up if you are giving the other child attention for cleaning. This tool also help the other child's confidence. Win, win. This does not always work though. You must address their inappropriate behavior as soon as it occurs every time. This way you are setting clear boundaries and are consistent. Time out normally works, I do not think there is anything wrong with a little pop on the leg to get their attention if other tactics are not working; or if it is getting late I will just put them to bed. IF they are misbehaving they are probably tired anyways and need some rest. Spankings do not work for every kid. If you give him a little pop and he continues to misbehave; that does not mean you need to give another harder spanking. My 19 month boy is a HANDFUL. If all else fails, I put him in bed and do not respond to ANY negative behavior. most of the time he will fall asleep, or just get over it and come get in my lap after he has thrown a good fit by himself.
Claudia - posted on 04/01/2010
Absolutely, children at that age need to be disciplined. By the age of 5 they have developed the personality they will carry on into adulthood and if they don't know discipline they will just get worse. No I don't agree with child abuse AT ANY AGE obviously and I realize discipline is different for everyone. I discipline according to the bible and that means I do agree with appropriate spankings done out of love not anger. Children need to learn boundaries and rules because that is what they will have to deal with the rest of their lives.
Samantha - posted on 03/31/2010
Yes they need to be disciplined. Corners work great at that age and there is always a corner wherever u r at. Sometimes a butt whopping when they absolutely know they did wrong like push their little brother down the stairs while saying whoops. No more then one whoop otherwise ur just doing it to make u "feel" better and u r abusing ur child.
Gretchen - posted on 03/31/2010
There is a difference between punishment and discipline. The terms are often confused. Discipline can refer to positive training like, if you do ___, your reward will be ____. Punishment seems to be negative only, and can be rooted in anger.
Stephanie - posted on 03/31/2010
yes, children need to be disciplined. for me that includes appropriate spankings. for some people, it doesn't.
there's a huge difference between abuse and guidance, and banning all contact won't stop abuse. because that's a problem with the person's heart/mind that only God can heal.
Tosha - posted on 03/31/2010
Punishing and Beating are two different things...for any age! I believe that kids need a good butt whooping when they do things they know they shouldn't do. I don't know about a 2-5 yr old though. My son isn't 2 yet, but he is getting bad about getting into stuff that he shouldn't get into. That comes with age from what I am told. It hurts me to even spat his hand. You have to teach your child right from wrong, but there are better ways to do that other than in a physical manner. Different people have different views on what abuse and punishment are. What is abuse to one person may just be a spanking to another. For me to think a child is abused, is when the child has cuts or bruises that are obviously not from playing. Or if I see first hand that they are being abused. This is just my opinion though...
Meghan - posted on 03/31/2010
I think it all depends..unfortunatly not everyone views abuse the same way. Something that may outrage you wouldn't outrage another woman. But if we are talking beating and neglect those woman shouldn't have kids and should be locked up! That's all I can really say on that because thinking about what some kids have to go through makes me sick to my stomach and very very mad! I always say there is a big diffrence between dicipline and punishment. You don't need to hit your child to teach them right from wrong!