Mother in Law undermining my choices with my 2 year old???

Shelly - posted on 05/25/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone basically need to vent so my husband and I have a 2 year old she just turned two and we have been trying so hard to get her off the bottle, she falls asleep with it for naps and at night and drinks out of it all day.. So since me and my husband work opposite schedules me mornings him late afternoons he goes in at 1:30pm im off of work at 3:30pm so we dont see each other until 10PM at night when he is off ,so from 1pm -3:45pm my husbands grandmother which is basically his mother because she raised him lives with us and she watches our daughter for us until i get home around 3:45pm I always seemed to fail taking the bottle away because i'd get home to see my daughter with a bottle in hand... so basically I had a talk with my husband and said i need him to be on board with it NO MORE BOTTLE I threw all bottles but kept one just in case but i put it in the very back of cupboard trying to hide it so if she happen to get sick and we needed it to calm her which was my mistake...so i talked more to my husbad about he needs to follow through that its his responsibilty when im not there to make sure to give her sippy cup only! he agreed! so i took the bottle away on a saturday since i am off Weekends, i even tried to explain to my daughter no more bottle n gave her the sippy cup and she did very well all day at night was a little difficult took her longer to fall asleep but she did eventually, sunday we did the same no bottle only sippy cup, come Monday i'm worried thinking oh hopefully he follows through and he did and before he left to work his grandma asked him does she have her bottle somewhere and he told her oh no we took it away now no more bottle she hasnt had one for two days she has her sippy cup if she gets thirsty she doesnt need it anymore so i get home she still has her sippy cup which i was very happy so next day Tuesday i get home from work walk in my daughter is asleep napping and my husbands Grandmother right before i'm going to grab my daughter to take her to our room says OH Mija, I know your trying to take her bottle away but I'm sorry I gave her a bottle she reaches over moves a paper on her night stand and the bottle is sitting there behind the paper ( she found the bottle i hid) she goes on and says i felt bad she was fussing all day having a hard time to fall asleep and she was tired, i paused cause i was like NOOOOO and I said "you did??? oh man she was doing so good she was already going on 3 days we were trying so hard to stick to it and not give in because she should not have to drink out of a bottle no more there's no need for it" and she tells me well the cup you gave her she's barley getting any juice out of it and i told her "well she doesnt need to be drinking juice thats why its a sippy cup to take a drink if she is thirsty, she eats food so its not like shes using the bottle to get fed i'm really trying to get her off because it causes tooth decay when she's falling asleep with it" and she kind of like Ya Ya i know heard of it so i was just so upset didnt want to let my emotions get the best of me so i said ok grabbed my daughter n turned back n asked her to hand me the bottle that was on her night stand please ... she handed it to me so I decided well now i will just have toss this bottle so it wont happen again and just continue on and not give up, i let my husband know and he is beyond Pissed and said why would she he just couldnt believe it and he said my daughter was not fussy cause of the bottle that she wanted to be outside and he had to bring her in to take her to his grandmas room so he can go to work so he got home asked his grandma so you gave her a bottle why? and she explained she was fussy and I felt bad she was having a hard time and my husband said she was going on 3 days you shouldnt have given it to her when we say and decide something Like no bottle for our daughter you need to follow with what we say and if you can't then you need to let us know because we will figure something out whether its one of us leave work early or even if its one of us has to quit to be here with her full time he told her we are trying to get her off so we can also then start potty training she's never going to learn things if were not all on the same page , it seems like my husband was over board but reason is because this wasn't the only issue we've had it took us forever to get her on a good schedule so she would sleep at night and his grandmother would not listen and basically let her sleep all day because before she would watch my daughter longer hours but my husband made a switch so one of us was home with her and it would only be 3 hrs one of us was not home, I guess now I am just feeling bad but I feel Like we had to say something that it was not ok for her to do that, and i made sure to stay calm and also tell my husband to stay calm I think we were just Frusterated beacuse we were relieved to have gone so long and also proud of my daughter for going a few days and then she just decided to give her a bottle? anyone had similar situation ?? we are truely considering me to quit my job but are just unsure because of several other issure but it stops us cause money would be tight but we have to decide because it just seems like there is always some sort of issue...

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Heather - posted on 06/01/2016

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He did not go over board by putting your child's needs first over her feelings. He set respectable expectations, boundaries, and limitations in a healthy way. By drawing the line in the sand she has no excuse to not support both of you and if she is going to watch your child she has to follow your ground rules for how you would like her to be raised. Don't feel guilty and don't apologize for setting those healthy boundaries. And just throw the bottle out because if she has gone 3 days without it she doesn't need to look back! Good job to the both of you!!

Lovecharmstar - posted on 05/31/2016

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Kudos to you and your husband for standing united in determining what is best for your daughter! I believe you are doing an awesome job of weening your daughter off her bottle. I know you feel bad that her grandmother’s feelings might have been hurt after your husband talked to her but I am sure she understands what you and your husband are trying to accomplish as parents. Have you considered hiding the bottle in your room? This will help take away the option to use the bottle instead of the sippy cup. I hope everything works out for your family.

Sarah - posted on 05/25/2016

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"well the cup you gave her she's barley getting any juice out of it and i told her...."
Well the red flag I see is that you give her juice, is the bottle full of juice too? No, juice! The AAP is ready to publish new advisement saying absolutely only water, breast-milk, formula, or milk. This is in the new effort to combat childhood obesity. They don't need the calories. I don't have time to discuss grandma now...

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Shelly - posted on 05/25/2016

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Yes i Agree Sarah it is a Red Flag... we were told by her pediatrician to give her apple juice to help with her bad constipation of course we never gave her a full bottle of juice it was always diluted with water most of it is water and another concern was when i got home from work she would have a full bottle of juice which would upset me and i would ask her to please not give her so much juice when she would nap she would fall asleep with juice with her grandmother like i said there are many issues but we try to do our best to put our foot down and i have gotten on everyone who is with her to only give minimal and we give her juice here and there to help constipation but I do want to take the juice completely away because even tho i have taken the bottle its now in the sippy cup which you are right it should not be .... at night she was having water in the bottle cause i was affraid of tooth decay... since she hardly has the constipation I am slowly taking it away and giving it less and less since prunes have seemed to help her and she enjoys them....Thank you for your concern and advice you opened up my eyes to take away juice completly for sure and right away

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