My 16 month old is a terror and time out is not working. He hits, kicks, pinches, and bites....does anyone have and advice for me please???
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Shelly - posted on 02/18/2009
Time outs do not work for 16 month old children because they do not sit and think "I did something wrong maybe I shouldnt do that" They need immedant response to the action. "We do not hit" "hands down" Mouth for eating"
KIds need stuctured play time. He is possible bored. Make a time when you do activities like blocks or drawing then after a certain amount of time 15 mins. put it away and do another activity. See how his behaviour is after a few days of structured play.
He is communicating with you. Dont punish him because he doesnt know how to tell you how he is feeling. figure out what it is he is trying to tell you.
Samantha - posted on 02/18/2009
I don't have any specific advise, but just wanted to say your not alone! lol I have a 2 year old little boy that, though doesn't bit or pinch, is very physical...most of the time playing, but is so strong that he hurts and thinks it's funny. I've asked the Ped. and he said it's normal, especially boys at this age. They are exploring their boundries and unless you keep the pattern of time out as a rountine consequence, even if it doesn' t seem to work, it will only get worse. Along with time out and trying to never raise our voice and talk/explain to him in a calming way when he has been bad, we have also started Occupational therapy to help with tantrums, listening and learning to "not get what he wants"...seems to be helping!
Brenda - posted on 02/18/2009
is he your only child? is he bored, like does he watch or have to play a lot on his own?
this may be fustration and he does'nt know how to cope or tell you how he's feeling, go to a local playgroup for advice or to your doctor it may be after you have tried everything else that it may be a medical problem. my second child is hyperactive and i tried everything and in the end i gave him cod liver oil, he's still very boystress but that's all now. good luck
Samantha - posted on 02/18/2009
I think every child, even at 16 months understands cause and effect, though extremly simple situations, such as "if I cry when I'm hungry, then I will get food". It's good to start healthy disapline at a young age. It sets a pattern of consequence, even if it doesn't seem to work. Definatly try and stimulate him more to "ware him out" so to say, but behavior as described is a learning experience to even a 16th month old, if you don't set boundries from now, they will harder to set, especially if he hits/bites and you don't displine, he will think it's an "ok" behavior.
Time out is recommended 1 min for each year since birth. At 16 months 30 sec. would be the max. Simply give him a warning calmly and hold his hand when he hits and show him the opposite, such as "nice hands" and take his hand and rub your arm gently with it. Let him know that hitting is not nice and if he does it again he will have a time out by him self. If time out is needed, don't warn again, gently put him into the corner, get down to his level and explain to him that you warned him and he has to stay there because he did not use nice hands. When time is up go back and explain you love him but it is not ok to hit, hug and kiss continue play time. If you talk to babies just as older children they will eventually understand. My son learned time out at 18 months. He knows now at 2 years that it is a very real disapline and it means he did something bad. He still will hit or act out, he's 2 for god sake, but after a warning and time out he understands and reacts positively after.
Another great thing is pre-school. My son was in private care from 17 months till 27 months. He is now in pre-school and his "bad behavior" has decreased dramatically. I wish we would have put him in school earlier. The structure of thier day is amazing and being in a group of simliar aged or older children has been wonderful!
Follow your heart, moms always know thier own children best.
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