My 16 month old will not sleep thru the night. Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep??Letting her cry does not work, she is afraid of her crib now. :(

Mellissa - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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How do I get my 16 month old to sleep thru the night and in her own bed without letting her cry?

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Barbara - posted on 06/12/2012

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Do you use white noise or anything in her room to help calm her?

If you think she is truly afraid of her crib you want to get her past that. White noise (you can download 90 second MP3 tracks from Amazon for .99) helps soothe... so for nap time I'd try playing some white noise and place a chair right next to the crib and hold her in her room by her bed until she is almost asleep, then put her in her crib when she's on the cusp of falling asleep. If she wakes up, (which I think she will) sit in the chair and hold her hand with her in the crib until she falls asleep talking softly to her. You won't have to do this forever, just til she's over her fear of the crib, a few days to a week at most. If she stands and starts screaming, pick her up and try again. For bedtime, start at about 7-7:30 and try the same thing. It'll be tiring, but if you start early enough you'll still get enough sleep. White noise on repeat will help her soothe herself back to sleep if she wakes up in the middle of the night. I use one from Amazon called Pink Noise for Baby Sleep by Mute Button, it's only .99. Best dollar I ever spent, seriously.

I don't do CIO, so keep that in mind with my advice. This is what I would try in your situation. Also, when my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night I bring her in with me, then move her back to her bed once she falls asleep. If for some reason she screams and cries before I get her she takes a LOT longer to get back to sleep. So I get her as soon as I realize she's awake and not just making middle of the night noises, and don't let her get too upset if I can help it.

Also, make sure you aren't letting her get overtired before putting her down, if you think that might be part of the problem try moving her bedtime up 30 minutes. Does she have a nightly routine, if not, that might help the transition too? Bath, stories, cuddle time with soft songs, then bed?

Bethany - posted on 06/23/2012

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its so hard when all ya wanna do is sleep believe me there have been days i swear i fell asleep on the toilet at work cos i was soooooooo tired! but as my mum said to me they only do it once in their life time and when they have kids its back on them 10 fold lol, as for me its not the sleeping that is coming back to bite me its the climbing, i climbed at 8mths and my darling poohead son climbed at 11 mths and hasnt stopped since!!!
as for the sleeping thru do what u can when you can if it means being up with them then you know its not for the rest of their lives (hard to remember as you wanna strangle them n scream go to fucking sleep, which i have done many time, the yelling bit only of course).
there is a great book that i have been given and its called go the F*ck to sleep and its toms night time book when he wont sleep look it up and get a copy cos its a great book!
good luck and i hope you have many lucid dreams when you get that full nyt sleep :)

Merry - posted on 06/23/2012

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I've never let either of my kids cry in bed. It just feels inhumane to me.
So for my first, I would nurse him til he was sound asleep and then lay him in his crib and then I'd have a white noise machine playing, I'd position him on his side with blankets snuggling up around him, I'd lay him down slowly and then press my hands on his body as I set him down so he didn't flail and wake. He woke for a nurse 1 time a night from about a year til two and a half year old. I would hear him wake and go to him right away before he fully woke, nurse him back to sleep and repeat. At 20 months I put him in a toddler bed because with my big pregnant belly I couldn't lay him in his crib anymore! But he was so good, he'd always make noise upon waking and so we never delt with him wandering out.
When my daughter was born he was 2 and I had to change tactics a bit. She was a god awful newborn and cried literally all the time and I had to hold her tons to get any peace.
So I couldn't nurse him to sleep anymore.
So I'd nurse him as long as I could and then lay him awake or drowsy in his bed and have to hold the baby and I'd excuse myself, like say I'll be right back. I'd walk away and when I heard him call for me I'd return, pace in his room a bit, and excuse myself again. At some point he'd drift to sleep and I'd be done!
But as he got to 2.5 I think he wasn't as tired by night time because he was growing out of his nap but still napping so I'd try to get him to sleep but he'd always get out of bed and started being annoying and obnoxious. So I put him in my bed with me and the baby and when he'd try to get up I could put a hand on him til he settled. That's when he joined us in our bed. We got a second queen bed and now have us all in one room.

My daughter is now 1 and she has slept in my arms since birth. She nurses 3-5 times a night and I loose no sleep because of it. She can continue nursing at night as long as she wants IMO lol because it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Now my son is 3 and he sleeps on a toddler mattress right next to our beds. He's in his 'own' bed but he's right with us still. He will get his own room whenever he wants it :)



As for advise? Try going with the flow, waking at night is normal. We all do it as adults too'. Only our babies need help falling back to sleep. IMO they need help, not ignoring. And when your kids are adults you won't regret holding them close asbabies. You will cherish these memories.

Bethany - posted on 06/15/2012

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being a mum of a 28mth who only slept 1 full night til he was 17mths and then it was on and off up until now, we found rather than white noise a fan did it for us and as it was summer at the time it worked wonders, we will have bouts of him not sleeping all night for weeks and then months of sleeping thru, i almost think its harder when they chop and change as you just get adjusted to one and they swap.
if the white noise helps thats great, as for the cuddling in the bedroom thats the best, i have a lounge chair in my sons room that is very comfy and have spent many nights with him in my arms soundly asleep, but my son has phases about that to, for 3 or 4 months he self settled wonderfully and now no chance unless hes dog tired but he still has a comfort bottle at bed time in my arms and usually, as soon as bottles out and dummy in he does the deathroll (full snuggle into me) and hes done for the night. i'm told it gets easier as they get older and they will change without notice, so remember be strong, also maybe get dad to do it ocasionally so shes used to both of you, that way if your busy or sick he can some of the pressure off...

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2012

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White noise works wonders :) I have sound machines for both of my sons and they either listen to white noise or ocean waves in repeat all night. It works great when you travel as well because you can bring the soothing sound with you and the familiarity helps them sleep while away from home. I also have a toy aquarium attatched to the side of my son's crib. Theres a big button they can press to make the fish move and it bubbles and plays music. My 1st son (now 4) loved it and now my 6 month old uses it too. I think it's made by Fisherprice? Not sure. But it makes the crib more fun and sometimes when my 6 month old wakes up it'll amuse him and he'll fall back asleep on his own with it :) just an idea. Good luck w/ the sleeping! Happy to hear you've already had improvement :)

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Tracy - posted on 07/09/2012

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By that age my son could climb out of his crib. I was afraid he would crack his head open, so we tried the toddler bed. He thought it was a trampoline. Of course, establishing a routine is important. Dinner, bath, bedtime story. Good wind-down time, but the only way we could get him to stay in a bed and sleep was to lie down with him and hold him in place until he gave up and fell asleep. Then he'd sleep like a rock for 10-12 hrs. My daughter is now 2. She usually sleeps well, but some nights, just refuses and screams like she's being killed if you leave her in her crib. She then ends up in the pack and play in the den watching goodnight sprout on tv. She'll fall asleep out there without crying. I'm not sure it's great to let her stay up and watch tv, but it works and everyone gets some sleep.

Mellissa - posted on 06/18/2012

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Thank you all for your idea's and letting me know I'm not the only mom going through this. Bethany your son sounds just like my daughter! My husband works crazy hours. 5am-6-7pm mon-fri, so Friday nights are his nights to get up with her & Sat. Were having difficulty with this lately too as she screams for me... We had a busy weekend this past with a soccer tournament for my oldest daughter. Mackenzie was so tired saturday night after being outside all day. She went to sleep fine but woke up at 10pm and was squirming and climbing all over me all night long. At 5am i'd had enough and brought her downstairs to watch tv. She finally fell asleep on her pillow on the livingroom floor at 7:25am. We had to leave for the tournament again Sunday morning at 8:20am, so i woke her then. Needless to say i only got 1 hour sleep all night. Sunday night I was unable to settle her to sleep in her room. She screamed. Finally in front of the tv she fell asleep at 8;30 but was up again at 10-12:45. then slept until 5am. Im just very tired and frustrated..

Michelle - posted on 06/17/2012

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My daughter is 2 and she has slept through the night (so 11pm till about 6 or 7am) once. She is waking up 3-4 times a night atm and around 4:30-6:30 she comes into our bed.

Barbara - posted on 06/14/2012

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It might take a couple of days, and like I mentioned my daughter did grow through a phase at about 13 months where she went from sleeping through the night to being up 3-4 times a night that lasted about a month. So it may be a combination of things. Ideally it'll get to a point within a week or so where she may still wake up, but she'll go back to sleep on her own.

Mellissa - posted on 06/14/2012

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We had a set back last night. She woke up 6 times. I spent the pretty much the whole night in her room. :( I think the white noise is working as she fell asleep quickly, it's just as soon as I put her in her crib she would wake up again. :(
Im not giving up, I will continue this as long as it takes!

Barbara - posted on 06/13/2012

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YAY!!!! I'm happy to hear that it's working for you :) Waking up once at 4:30 isn't bad at all! Hopefully that will stop too and she'll sleep through the night as she feels more comfortable with her crib again. The white noise is amazing at how much it helps with my daughter, I'm glad it was able to help you out too!

Mellissa - posted on 06/13/2012

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Thanks Laura! I will try anything at this point!!

Barbara, Lastnight I tried the white noise! My biggest thing was getting her to fall asleep in her room insted of the livingroom.. So I did our usual bedtime routine of bath, read books bottle while watching tv. Then I had her kiss daddy goodnight and say good night to her sister. I took her up to her bedroom & told her it was time to sleep and we sleep in our beds at night. Im starting by holding her in the chair( for a few nights until she gets used to sleeping in her room) So im holding her in the chair we are listening to the white noise, she fussed a little I reasured her that I was there for her and if she cried when she woke up I would come get her. In 20 mins she was asleep!!!!!!! :) She did wake up at 4;30am and I went to her room held her in the chair and she fell right back to sleep until 6am!!
So tonight I did the same routine, upstairs after bottle, turned on the white noise sat in the chair and she fell asleep with in 10 mins!!! SO THANK YOU!!! I'm praying this continues. after a week I will put her in the crib before she falls asleep and see how that goes. But for right now I just want her to sleep so I can!

Laura - posted on 06/13/2012

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HI

my son is 19mos sorry to say he has always been a great sleeper,,, but the odd time while teething he is not so good,

my friend gave me a great tip for this hope it works for you.
1/, after last feed etc . bring baby/child up there room.
2. let them sit in the room for 5mins
3. put the in crib not to sleep etc just place her in there.
4. and you stay in room .. but you have to ignore her and do other things or pretend , like tidy. pick out clothes for next day while sorry not talking or looking at her (i know sound mean)
5. walk out of room again like your busy
6. wait few mins then go back in see what you child is doing (hopefully not crying)
7. again you might hate me for this - repeat ^^ once more on 3rd round lie her down... if she is not fussing and make room darker etc .. keep doing what you doing busy busy,,,
8. yes check on her if she is not crying. then great ,

( you should also place her in her crib during day not for napping just place her there for 2 mins at times to show her you always come back!!!!) ....


ppl always forget your child will scream make them selves sick from crying just to get your attention and there own way ,, why because they know they can lol....

should you get a result from this please tell me .... i hope it works and does when she is asleep get yourself to bed !!!!

Barbara - posted on 06/12/2012

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I'd start with the chair definitely, she's probably too young for a toddler bed though.

Once she is used to the crib again, it's ok to let her cry a bit when you first put her down, but I don't let my daughter cry for more than 4-5 minutes. If she does then I get her up for another 15-20 minutes of quiet awake time with me, then try putting her down again. If she's screaming, I always pick her up right away.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Mellissa - posted on 06/12/2012

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Thank you so much. I will try your advice. We do have a bedtime routine & have had one for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if the bath wakes her up to much before bed? I've been doing a ton of research today & I read about a chair beside the crib or even switching her to a toddler bed so I can put my head next to hers as she falls asleep. She had colic as an infant and has never been a sleeper... Not even a napper. Thank you so much! :)

Mellissa - posted on 06/12/2012

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It has been on going since birth, but she has has a few nights in the past 3 months where she has slept through. I think she's afraid of her crib now as for the past 2 nights I have tried letting her cry. Now when we go into her room she screams and points to the door. When I lay her down in it when she's asleep she immediately wakes up crying. I'm exhausted and don't know what to do.

Barbara - posted on 06/12/2012

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What makes you think she is afraid of her crib?

Has she ever slept through the night? I'm wondering if this is a new thing, her not sleeping through the night, or ongoing since birth. My daughter had a phase where she went from sleeping through the night to being up every night for like a month. I was EXHAUSTED! to say the least... If it's a recent development, cut back her afternoon nap a bit and move it up a little (an hour?) if you can. Plus see if she's teething, if she is try a little teething gel or tylenol about 15-30 minutes before putting her down for bed.

My daughter went to a 2 hr nap at about 12 when she was about 18 months, instead of 2 naps... maybe she's ready to adjust her napping schedule a bit.

If it's ongoing I'm afraid I don't really have any advice.

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