My 18th month old son keeps hitting my 8 year old daughter when he gets mad?

Kelly - posted on 04/22/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Every time he gets angry he lashes out at my daughter. She is brilliant with him and they play lovely together so why does he hurt her ? , he used to hit me alot but this has stopped now. I stop him doing it when i see he is about to hit her. I have to hold him back or take him out of the room because he will not give in until he s hit her or thrown an object at her! I cant ignore this behaviour as it is horrible for my daughter , anyone have any advice please?

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Nicky - posted on 04/24/2013

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My daughter is 18 months old and my partner and I have the same problem with her hitting us if we tell her to stop something. What we usually do is first tell her. "Be nice, we don't hit" if she continues, we do a stern countdown from 5 saying in between quickly but clearly. "If you don't stop, you are going to your room." "Hitting is not nice. We don't hit." Once we get to zero, we pick her up and say "you need a break" put her in her crib. We are careful to say, "do you need to go to your room?" Instead of "bed" or "crib" because we want her to have a good association with the word "bed" since she is really starting to understand words. She usually cries. Once she has stopped crying for two minutes. Whoever put her in the crib, gets her out and says "are you ready to be nice and listen?" Repeat. We did this firmly for a week, and it started with us having to do it two or three times a day! But now we are down to two or three times a week. It helps you get control, your child learn language and about consequences and stops this (innocence but still annoying) behavior of entitlement that they can do what they please. Stay consistent. I really hope this helps.

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Nicky - posted on 04/24/2013

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No problem, but after you say "you need a break." Say nothing more and just place him in his crib. Walk calmly out of his room and close his door and wait. The screaming and yelling of " mama" will make you want to give in. But he DOES know better now. You asked not to do something. This is the best way I think. Good luck! And like I said, we had to work on this daily, but after just one week. We got control back and we where parenting :) it's all part of the job.

Kelly - posted on 04/24/2013

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Thanks for your advice!! ill give this a try :) He understands alot of what we say to him and i have spoke to him eg no we dont hit, please dont hit but he just looks at me and carrys on, so i think a consequence is definately needed!! He controls alot of things!, the list is getting a bit beyond , i need to reign him in i think!

thanx :)

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