3 year old biting

Amy - posted on 08/22/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 3 year old just started biting at daycare last week. How do I stop this before he gets kicked out?

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Cc - posted on 08/25/2009

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My daughter started to bite several times in a day. We were getting called all the time to come pick her up and it wasn't fun. I too was afraid she would get kicked out. I went and bought the book "Teeth are Not for biting". I took it to the daycare and asked them to read after each time she bit a child and had them make her kiss the other child's bite mark. Apparently this worked because she was able to connect what was going on in the book with the pain she was causing the other child. She stopped biting after the first week of doing this. We had to be consistent and your daycare has to be willing to help you out when your 3 year old is biting.

Dawgylvr - posted on 08/23/2009

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First of all, I don't agree with the "bite them back" theory. You are supposed to be a teacher for your child. If you bite your child back, aren't you showing your child it's OK to bite? How is doing something you DON'T want your child to do teaching them not to do it??? Check with your daycare and ask if there is anything they can do, within limits, to help out at the time of the biting. My son bit twice in one week awhile back. After the 2nd time, I had a talk with the administrator at my son's daycare. Obviously punishing him at home isn't effective, cuz by then it's been hours later and he has no idea what he's being punished for. I signed a waiver that allows them, at the time of the biting, to have my son bite into the rind of a lemon (or find something bitter that would leave a bad taste in his mouth for a brief time). Then he gets a timeout. He needs to know at the moment that he's done something wrong. Check with your daycare and let them know you are concerned about the behavior and if they can work with you on something there to help prevent future bites. My son hasn't bitten anyone at daycare again, but he has tried to bite ME a few times. I just grab him on both sides of his mouth, look right into his eyes and firmly say "NO BITING!" Just like anything, teaching a Toddler boundaries is a trying time. But remember YOU are the child's role model...don't do something to your child you don't want him/her doing either!

Jane - posted on 08/22/2009

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My 2 year old bit a little girl at playgroup last week i was so upset with her, she said she was sorry. Then she bit her baby brother who is 10 months old 3 times on his arm which left a bruise, i too was told to bite her back i did not hard thank fully she has not bitten any one since. The sooner you can put a stop to it the better. Good luck with your 3 year old biting.

Jodie - posted on 04/04/2012

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I suggest you find out in what situations your child is biting. My daughter is 4 and I haven't had too much trouble with biting. Luckily she has never bit anyone at school but she has bit me. The last time she bit me was when we were wrestling around and my arm got in her way and she bit down. She knew immediately that she did something she was not supposed too. So, when she had to stand in the hallway for 4 minutes she didn't even put up a fight. She didn't do it on purpose she was just wound up from playing but she has to know that she has to control herself even when she is playing. Up till now, even when she pretends she is going to bite me, I remind her what the punishment will be and she stops immediately. What she did have a problem with in school was pinching. Once the teachers told me about it, she got punished at home just the same and it stopped immediately. Just keep reminding your child that they need to use their words and not their teeth to express themselves.

Samantha - posted on 08/22/2009

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This might seem mean, but I have to agree with biting him back. Just hard enough for him to see it's not a good feeling. I had a friend who I stopped having playdates with because her son kept biting mine. It used to piss me off real bad... on one occassion he bit my youngest who was only 6 months at the time. That got to me so bad that I never again let her child play with mine, and he was about 1 and 1/2 younger than my oldest. I know it must be bad for you as the mom of a biter, but imagine the moms of the ones being bitten, or even better, if yours was being bitten? So I recommend you try biting him. If that doesn't help, talk to his pediatrician.

Hope this helps with your 3 year old's biting!

Good Luck Mommy!

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10 Comments

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Lisa - posted on 04/04/2012

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Find out who the biter is at Day Care..Usually, this is a self defence action. My child did not bite until day care. Sometimes, they move the biter up an age class. This too shall pass. When the childs vocabulary is larger.

Tashia - posted on 08/22/2009

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There could be many ways to stop this without biting your 3 year old. Check with your pediatrian or his teacher there could be mutiple things happening with him!!

[deleted account]

You need to see when does the biting take place. If your 3 year old is biting as a response to not getting his way try to show him other ways to do it. The biting back method is a bit border line and can be only used if he bites you. If you bite him out of the blue he will have no idea why you are doing it and thinks it is a good way of showing his feelings. You can talk to him during play time about feelings and what would you do if you are upset or hurt etc. The other thing and it is very important, if he bites not because of feeling hurt or upset and without being agrovated by the children check his ears. A playschool teacher (A mother of a good friend) told me that there are some kinds of ear infections that don't come with temprature. On those cases the biting relieves the pressure in the ears and that's why a child would do that without any "reason". Once it is treated the child stops the biting. Osnat http://maaslife.blogspot.com/

Tashia - posted on 08/22/2009

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I was a teacher at a learning center for several years before having my own son and I encountered this on several occassion in my classroom of two to three year olds. Let me tell you it is very common and you should not feel at all ashamed. However lots of times people say to bite back however you are not teaching the child anything by this other than the fact that you don't want them to bite but you just bit them!! How is it OK for you to bite them but not OK for them to bite. Your provider should offer you some good techniques or be able to over come this with their training and professionalism. If you are extremely concrened about your 3 year old biting check with your doctor or do a little research. Find out the what, where, when and why your child is biting and see if there is a pattern or specific thing that may be the cause and effect could be the biting there is lots to look at and for before your child should be removed from care hope this helps you if you need anything else please feel free to ask me! The enviroment may be causing the situation. Posibly a change??

Ashley - posted on 08/22/2009

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I know this dont seem like a nice thing to do but it worked when my 3 year old daughter was biting. Bite him back, not to hard but hard enough to show him that it hurts and it doesn't feel good. I hope that helps.

Tashia - posted on 08/22/2009

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There could be many ways to stop this without biting your 3 year old. Check with your pediatrian or his teacher there could be mutiple things happening with him!!

[deleted account]

You need to see when does the biting take place. If your 3 year old is biting as a response to not getting his way try to show him other ways to do it. The biting back method is a bit border line and can be only used if he bites you. If you bite him out of the blue he will have no idea why you are doing it and thinks it is a good way of showing his feelings. You can talk to him during play time about feelings and what would you do if you are upset or hurt etc. The other thing and it is very important, if he bites not because of feeling hurt or upset and without being agrovated by the children check his ears. A playschool teacher (A mother of a good friend) told me that there are some kinds of ear infections that don't come with temprature. On those cases the biting relieves the pressure in the ears and that's why a child would do that without any "reason". Once it is treated the child stops the biting. Osnat http://maaslife.blogspot.com/

Tashia - posted on 08/22/2009

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I was a teacher at a learning center for several years before having my own son and I encountered this on several occassion in my classroom of two to three year olds. Let me tell you it is very common and you should not feel at all ashamed. However lots of times people say to bite back however you are not teaching the child anything by this other than the fact that you don't want them to bite but you just bit them!! How is it OK for you to bite them but not OK for them to bite. Your provider should offer you some good techniques or be able to over come this with their training and professionalism. If you are extremely concrened about your 3 year old biting check with your doctor or do a little research. Find out the what, where, when and why your child is biting and see if there is a pattern or specific thing that may be the cause and effect could be the biting there is lots to look at and for before your child should be removed from care hope this helps you if you need anything else please feel free to ask me! The enviroment may be causing the situation. Posibly a change??

Ashley - posted on 08/22/2009

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I know this dont seem like a nice thing to do but it worked when my 3 year old daughter was biting. Bite him back, not to hard but hard enough to show him that it hurts and it doesn't feel good. I hope that helps.

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