My 3yr old is Sticking to the same story, that his nursery teacher squeezed his stomach, because he

Carolina - posted on 11/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son told my mother that his teacher squeezed his stomach because he dindn't clean up;I really didn't pay mind at first, but now he is repeating the same story. I'm heart broken, I know kids make up stories, but he is only 3yrs old and is not changing his version one bit, which led me to believe that it's true. My son is extremely bright, therefore, he challenges everything you tell him, he's not always compliant, but does listen when given choices, as opposed to just yelling at him and or reprimanding him. I changed my ways at home and it has been working, he is listening more etc. I'm furious and don't know how to confront the situation. He goes to nursery 3x's a week, and the second week after school started the teacher had her first complaint about my son's behavior stating that he would say no to everything, bla, bla, bla.. I told her to do what she had to and to please understand that this was the first time he was in such structured enviroment. Ever since then, I dread going to school, because there has never been a positive comment about his behavior. One time when I asked how he had done during the 2 1/2hrs that he's there, she said that he wasn't getting any better and, so I said, ok, but aside from his behavior, What else? she was like oh yeah, I feel so bad, because he is very bright etc... There is so much more to explain about this whole situation, but for now I just need tips on how to bring this horrible topic to the table. I can't bare the thought that my son was hurt by his teacher. please help, I will not send him to that school anymore.

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Vicki - posted on 11/17/2010

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Are there directors or a board or management? Complain directly to them, and include that the head ignored you. It may be easier for you to do in writing, more official and less chance of getting flustered or upset (as I would)

Dora - posted on 11/16/2010

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To be honest with you she doesn't seem fit enough to be a teacher. Any teacher that doesn't know how to deal with a child whop is not listening should not be in that profession. Children are vulnerable at that age and what happens to them when they are little can leave a lasting impression on them. I would definitely believe your child, confront the teacher and then the head person. Make sure you make a stink about it because if she did that to your son who knows what she is doing to other children. At the same time try to look into some other nursery schools. You don't want your son to be exposed to the negativity on a daily basis. it is not fair to him. I am so sorry that your child had to have such a negative experience during a time when he should be learning and having fun. In regards to his behavior work with him little by little. Start by setting up a schedule for him at school and teach him slowly how to follow it. Eventually he will get the hang of it and be fine within any structured environment. Either way negative punishment from the teacher should not be allowed. That will not help a child improve. Good luck.

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Berjoh - posted on 11/19/2010

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I would have asked the teacher straight forward because my childs feelings are what matters most. I dont blame you for not taking him back there, but I would still need to know, besides a child that young doesnt know how to tell tales yet.

Carolina - posted on 11/18/2010

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The comment from above is a complaint I wrote in this great website, where as you may all see, you can complain about any school staff, that is not doing their job right. I want to thank you all for taking the time to share your views and advice on this matter. I have not heard from the director at all, which only gets me angrier to see how heartless this woman is. The reason why I say they are both " HEARTLESS" (teacher and Director), is because, after I got the first complain on my son's misbehavior, I explained to them my situation at home. I told them that may son's behavior might be due to everything he has been through, since his younger brother with Down Syndrome was born. This was a shock to me and my whole family. Of course, unintentionally a lot of my attention was focused on my new baby; not only that, I also explained to them, that 4 different therapist come to my house on a weekly basis, with a babpack full of toys, which they use for their theraphy sessions with my youngest son (now 20 months old). My 3yr old doen't understand this, all he sees is how much attention his little brother is getting, and of course he doesn't understand that all these people come to my house, because his brother has special needs, and requires these therapies. The therapist are all lovely and try to include my older son, but I take him out of the room sometimes, because I feel like it interferes, with the therapy sessions. My point is that I told these two women that my son is craving attention, and that might have been the reason why he was acting out .

Carolina - posted on 11/18/2010

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First Presbyterian Church Nursery School in LevittownTeacher: Mrs. Kathy/ Mrs. Ann (director)

Dismissive School Director/abusive teacherTeacher Complaint About: First Presbyterian Church Nursery School In Levittown - Mrs. Kathy/ Mrs. Ann (director)







New York, NASSAU

Author: Concerned Parent

Grade: N/A

Occur date: Nov 10 2010

Post date: Nov 17 2010, 03:44:33 AM





Teacher Complaint: Mrs. Kathy/ Mrs. Ann (director) - First Presbyterian Church Nursery School In Levittown





I withdrew my 3yr old from this nursery school, becasue he was horrified of his teacher named Mrs. Kathy. After his second week in school I got the firts complaint about my son's behavior, that he was saying "No" to everything. Ever since then it would be a struggle trying to get my son ready for school, as he would always say "Mommy please I don't want to go to Mrs. Kathy", I really didn't pay mind as I thought he just needed time to adjust to such structured environment. When I asked him why he didn't want to go, he would always say " Mrs. Kathy yells at me". My heart sank, when my mother told me that without her asking him he said he didn't want to go to school becase Mrs. Kathy squeezed his belly. At first I was in disbelieve, and of course hoped he was just making it up, but when he kept repeating the same story without even changing it a bit, I knew it was true. I was expecting him to tell me that his teacher squeezed his arm or something else when I asked him again, but he, over and over said that she squeezed his belly. I told the director that my son had complained that the teacher squeezed his belly when he refused to clean up after center time; she did not even apologize nor said that she was going to look into it. Instead, she said that Mrs. Kathy was a wordelful teacher, and she completly ignored what I had just told her. I said yes, I'm sure she is a wonderful teacher, but only with the students that listen and abide by her rules, because God Forbid she is challenged by one, she'll squeeze their belly out of anger. Please beware if you have a child that does not easily comply,with classroom rules, this is what will happen and it will be permitted at this school. They forgot that it was the beginning of the school year and not all children have the same personalities and nor do they all adjust at the same time. The messeage I got from Mrs. Ann, the school director, was that my son seemed to be the only child who had not assimilated to the school routines, I felt insulted because instead of her showing concern about my child being scarred from this bad experience, she decided to tell me more about my son's non compliant behavior. If you have a child that does not easily adjust to a new school system, where there's a lot of structure, which I have nothing against, this is not the right school for your child. Also the classes are overcrowed, there were 21, 3yr olds in a class, and only one teacher and two aids. I feel horrible that my son had to go through this bad experience and I only hope that he won't think that this is the way it is at all schools. For God sake,Mrs. Ann and Mrs. Kathy forgot that for a 3yr old like my son, who went from his home's playroom, into a class full of children and with a bunch of rules and routines, it was very difficult for him to adjust. They did not give him a chance and instead picked on his behavior instead of helping him and being patience.

November 17, 2010 by Concerned Parent in Wantagh, NY









First Presbyterian Church Nursery School in Levittown - SCHOOL INFORMATION:

Address: - New York, NASSAU Phone:





Full-screenNew York, NASSAU

Bridget - posted on 11/17/2010

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I started to say that your child could have created the story, mine done that at age 3 about our neighbor. She said my neighbor smacked her. However, when I read the info about the story never changing, I completely changed my mind. My daughter's story changed every few times she told it (it keep getting more drastic). Your son is telling the truth. If I were you (if possible), I'd move him to another school. The fact that the director didn't believe you concerns me. I can give you personal advice on that issue. My daughter was not physically abused, however, she was emotionally abused last year at her preschool. Unfortunately, I didn't find out until the school year was almost over. The abuse (by her teacher) completely changed her personality. She used to be a bouncy, happy little girl who always wanted to be the center of attention & always had an enormous smile on her face. Now she is timid, very unsure of herself. She feels as if she's not worth being played with or talked to. I have her in therapy for this & her new school is wonderful, but the damage has been done and it has been very difficult trying to undo it. If you can, please get him out of there. I'd hate for another child to endure what my daughter endured.

Christy - posted on 11/17/2010

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Sadly you have to have proof this happened if you are filing a complaint and you want someone to follow through. Too bad you can't put a mini camera on him to see what happens during the day.

Catherine - posted on 11/17/2010

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I'm sorry to hear that your son is having a hard time at school. I would give the director a little more time and then talk to her again. I used to direct summer camps, and when a parent called to complain, if I knew nothing of the incident, I would only listen to the complaint and say nothing negative about the staff person until I talked to that person and looked into it myself. Until the director has had her chance to do that, she's not going to admit any guilt or fault in the situation. If you give her a few days, I'm sure she's looking into things and you'll have a very different conversation with her.

If protocol was followed at the school, then this teacher never should have been alone with your son, there must be other teachers around. What have the other teachers said about your son? Have you had any opportunities to talk to them?

Because this is a private school, unless the teacher's behavior was criminal, there's not much else you can do. If this doesn't get resolved to your satisfaction, then your only option really is to remove your son to a different school.

Avvy - posted on 11/17/2010

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Squeezed my stomach,is a little vague,but then we are talking about a 3 yr old. There is never a reason for a person to physically touch a child to cause discomfort in order to change his behavior in any school and especially at the age of 3. You say there is a lot more to this situation ,so I think you have handled it correctly up to this point. Exit this school and quite simply start again. Good luck and remember, you will find the right school with the right teacher.

Carolina - posted on 11/16/2010

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Thank you for your imput. I called the school today and spoke to the director, she did not even apologize, all she said was that they've never had such an incident before. The conversation got heated as I saw no concern on her part. I even told her that at firts i thought that Mrs. Cathy, the abusive teacher was a nice person but I guess I was wrong. The director said yes, she is a wonderful teacher etc... Therefore, I told her yeah, I believe she is probably wonderful but only with the the two and three yr olds that behave like angels, but if she has a student like my child who has a hard time adjusting, she squeezes their belly when they don't do as she says. Does anybody know, how I can file a formal complaint against this school's teacher and director. My concern is that this is not a public school it is a nursery at a Presbyterian church.

Thanks Again,

Carolina

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