My 5 year old throwing violent temper tantrums. HELP please!

Aimee - posted on 08/18/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old daughter has been throwing violent temper tantrums lately. She had a dentist appointment this morning and threw another huge tantrum. She tries to bite, kick, hit, scream, yell and scream bad words at me and the doctors. She has even tried to literally choke me, with both of her hands wrapped around my neck, to the point I was gagging. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle her when she acts like this. She had a doctor's appointment last week, where she actually hit and kicked the doctor. I feel so embarrassed when she does stuff like this, but I don't know what to do. Disciplining her doesn't work, rewarding her doesn't work. I even try to make deals with her, such as if she is a big girl and do what is asked of her, I will reward her by taking her out to lunch, or I even offered to give her money and let her go shopping, but nothing I try is working. It is like once she gets upset, she doesn't know how to calm down. I have an appointment to talk to her doctor about it on Monday but I don't know what to do when she starts behaving like that. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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10 Comments

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Leanna - posted on 01/18/2012

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She probably has an anxiety disorder. Ask her pediatrician for an RX for Valium to give her before the appt. She may also need to be evaluated for Asperger's Syndrome if she is showing other symptoms.

Kristie - posted on 09/21/2011

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everything you have just described is my daughter she has gotten to the point she has left bruises on me and she is only 5 ! she had an episode tonight and i told her if she didnt settle i will take her to the police station and followed thru ! a police officer attempted to talk to her about how she was assulting me & its against the law but that didnt even stop her i ended up walking out in tears, when i was with her father he was physically violent towards me im not sure if this is a contributing facator ? anyone have opinions im at my wits end.

Sarah - posted on 08/31/2011

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Aimee, i'm curious to see what happened with your daughter? My son is 5 and having similar violent tantrums. Any advice or education you can offer would be great.

SARAH - posted on 08/24/2010

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*your daughters and your future as a parent!! :)

SARAH - posted on 08/24/2010

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Try reading ("The strong willed childed, by: james dobson *spelling)
You'll find good tips, and incuraging storys, that will help you have peace about your daughter and your future!
Let me know how you like it!

Beth - posted on 08/18/2010

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Get her to a pediatric behavioral specialist. Kids throw temper tantrums but this is beyond the scoop of normal range for any parent to tackle alone. There is the possibility that something could be going on that only a professional can diagnose. At the very least you can get some professional direction. Most insurance companies cover mental health for children unlimited visits for only the co-pay.

If you are a strong disciplinarian who follows through with your punishments and that hasn't helped as well as the reward method you need to call in the pros.

I am so sorry that this has been happening for you. Big hugs.

Cindy - posted on 08/18/2010

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Hang in there. I am hoping you can get some answers!

Aimee - posted on 08/18/2010

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Thank you, Christine. That is an idea. Cindy, I have an appointment on Monday with the Doctor at her Pediatrician's office to talk about this problem. It's gotten to the point that I don't know what to do anymore. Most of the time, she is the most lovable little girl in the world. But, when it comes to something she doesn't want to do, she is out of control and I just can't take it anymore. I was literally in tears today at her Dentist's office, because I don't know how to respond to her when she is like that because nothing works. Thank you for listening.

Christine - posted on 08/18/2010

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i know that this is not advice that any parent wants to hear but a child psychiatrist could really be a useful tool. i would take her to the doctor and see if this is something they suggest. my son goes to a sitters house and a parent of one of the other children is a child psychiatrist and has helped some of the other mothers that are dealing with these types of issues. there was a 2 year old at the sitters house who had just become a big sister. the little girl wasnt coping well with this and started to literally attack some of the other children. i dont know what kind of stuff the psych did with the little girl but there was a complete 180. it really helped, good luck!!

Cindy - posted on 08/18/2010

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I would talk to her peditrician and get some advice from him/her.