my child does not prefer me

Kaitlin - posted on 02/27/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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For some reason my child always prefer daddy or grandma over me. I love him a lot and also discipline him the most. Grandma just spoils him. Daddy just plays with him. I'm a stay-home-mom and takes care of him the most. Is it a normal behavior given my situation? What do I do cuz it breaks my heart!!

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5 Comments

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Sandra - posted on 03/01/2010

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It is totally normal. Don't take it personal. My daughters do the same thing, and it is because they see me all day everyday, and only see daddy at night. Unless of course, they are not feeling well etc.

Nancy - posted on 03/01/2010

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Completely normal. I know it's heartbreaking, but they don't get to see daddy or grandma as much as they see you. He needs to spend time with them as well. Remember, just like you can love your husband, child, friends, etc. equally and differently, your son can love his mum and dad and grandma equally too. He just doesn't always get to choose when he can spend time with everyone. He'll come back to wanting to spend time with you, but he needs space sometimes just like you do as well. Good luck and remember, it may not feel like it, but it's a good thing he wants to spend time with others.

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2010

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it hurts alot i know. i have a two year old girl and she loves spending time and being with others more than me but it's because i'm always there. I'm sure when your not there he searches for you and feels so much more relaxed when your home. Plus, children feel safe and will grow in confidence in a relationship if there are boundries eg discipline :)

Stephanie - posted on 02/28/2010

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:) Totally fine. and he'll change his mind eventually. My gals always switch back and forth. They'll like me for year or so, and then Daddy. My toddler just switched from one twin to the other as her favorite.
When they like Daddy best, I enjoy it. He gets to clean scrapes and separate fights and read stories, etc. :) and I get a break and a rest. Especially as a sahm, I'm looking for any rest I can get because it is me all day everyday.

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Oh Kaitlin... it is most definately normal... you are the everyday face. and it isn't even the discipline it just kids and the new face... if it came down to them not feeling well they will want their mum. My kids are like that but if something is wrong they are quick to find me.. enjoy the little break.. run away to get yourself some sanity and recharge.. lock yourself in the bathroom with bubbles and wine.. Your child is obviously secure and really i think this is alot better than the alternative.. not letting go and you not getting a break. relax it's normal.

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