My daughter is 19mnths old n the temper on her my goodness,she's always hitting,punching &throwing

Shonda - posted on 08/20/2009

My son is 16 months old and a small boxer in training-- he tends to hit me, throw his head back into things or throw things at me when he's mad, tired, bored or frustrated. Smacking his hands or swatting his bottom would only teach him "You can hit mommy but mommy can hit you" so what good is that going to do??? Time outs don't seem to work for him (except one teacher gets him to behave w/them at school) so I have found the best thing to do at his age is to remove him from the situation. I tell him it's NOT ok to hit (mommy, his teacher, his friends, etc) and then redirect his attention, help him find something else to focus on. We also do brushing techniques and joint compressions to help incase it's his sensory processing disorder causing the problem. Sometimes the best thing that works for him is holding him tightly and whispering to him, he has to concentrate on listening and the rest stops.

Good luck, it's no fun being the babies punching bag... it'll work out eventually... its just disheartening when it happens..

Karen - posted on 08/19/2009

I agree with the other posts, smacking doesn't really work just teaches to hit. I use time out, I normally give 2 warnings to allow her to correct herself and then she goes on the step (the most boring place in the house) for 2 minutes(1 minute for the childs age) if she gets up she has to go back until her she stays there for 2 minutes, to start you may be at for an hour but they soon learn, Also don't enter into argument or conversation whilst on time out this just fuels it tell her this is what's happening and do it. Once her time up is up explain why she was put on the time out and she must say sorry if she can. You need to be patient with this method it's not a quick fix but it works, children don't like being bored. Make sure you give a cuddle and reassurance after she says sorry so she gets a positive end to it and realises if I behave then I get cuddles not shouting.

Nicole - posted on 08/19/2009

my daughter is only 15 moths and does the same things.. shes a little *priss* walks around with an attitude.. but i luvv her lol

Lyndsay - posted on 08/17/2009

Maybe your "firm but nice" tone isn't enough. If you're not really doing anything to show her that this behaviour is unacceptable, she's going to continue with it.

Jennifer - posted on 08/17/2009

My son has gone thru the same stage and we still have 'incidents' He has a tutor that comes once a week and she helped to teach him self calming! Do not ignore any episode make them stop as it happens by saying "thats not ok, we do not act like this" @ some points I have had 2 phisically set him on my lap and wrap my arms around him tightly 2 hold him still while I do this I tell him to take deep breaths{do it with them} and say "whats wrong? Lets fix it 2gether! but 1st we have 2 calm down" after a while of this he actually does it himself{and I find it adorable} it takes time and patience but hitting back or time outs or taking things away do not work Children do not know how 2 calm themselves they need 2 be taught how! Punishing only confuses them as there is a reason they act out in the 1st place find and fix the reasfon! So many things can frustrate them @ this early age and they do not know how to express their frustration! Good Luck 2 you! The tutor who taught me this has worhked with difficult children for 14 years professionally!

Milly - posted on 08/17/2009

my son is doing that aslo. he is a little younger, but I think they understand what we are saying to them and they get upset because they dont talk just yet so it gets frusterating trying to tell us what they need. Hang in there i think it is just a phase

P - posted on 08/17/2009

My daughter was totally doing the same thing. And time is a lot of work for her. She is busy as can be, and doesn't like to sit still. I make them sit and face the wall. They aren't allowed to watch tv. And I know they say 1 minute per age. But for me, if she is doing something really ugly, like hitting or throwing stuff at people or pulling hair, we sit for 2 minutes. (she is 20 months) And I can say, do you want to go sit at the corner, she will usually stop mid way through going to hit or throw. She knows and doesn't like having to sit. If it means I sit with her, she is going to sit and not watch tv. And if she starts to throw a fit, I send them to their room and make them sit in there without toys. But no one else wants to hear the fit. This has helped stop the tantrums from being told no and such too. Hope you find what works for you.

Kristen - posted on 08/16/2009

My daughter does the same thing, usually when tired or hungry. If hungry i feed her but if she is tired she goes right in her crib, sometimes she screams for 10 minutes and goes to sleep or she screams for 15 and then i go up and explain to her what she did wrong and she is always calmer after that "time out".

Ceri - posted on 08/16/2009

my little girl is the same the terrible twos are coming and she has even started throwing things at me now

Anette - posted on 08/16/2009

My 4 year old actually gets into rages. We have tried all sorts of things - and the solution depends on the day. (We just make sure that we have a variety of ideas available.) Here are some things that we've tried to distract him...
1. Deep breaths. We look him in the eyes, speak in a low, soothing tone, and ask him to do a couple of deep breaths to calm down. Once we can see the rage subsiding, we ask him to use his words to talk about what he's feeling.
2. Throw ice cubes in the driveway. This allows him to throw things without the risk of breaking anything or hurting anyone.
3. Sock fights. It sounds ridiculous, but the entire family can play...and no one gets hurt! It's also a great use for those stray socks that always turn up. (In fact, we have a bin for stray socks so that we always have a supply on hand.)
4. Socker Boppers. These are those inflatable punching bags that pop back up when you hit them. Since the one that we purchased is Spider-Man, he only wants to hit it when he's really upset. (After all, he wouldn't want to hurt his hero.)
Patience is the key!
Good luck!

Amy - posted on 08/16/2009

i use to sit Rae for just 1 minute or so.. its suppose to be 1 minute per year of age they are.. so like if they are 5 they sit for 5 minutes... you just have to be consistent.. and if they dont sit the whole minute then as they try to get up say "ok you can get up now" that way they think you are giving them permission to get up and eventually they will sit until you say its time to get up.. if you need anything else please let me know i will be glad to help you out..

Stephanie - posted on 08/16/2009

Spank her.

Crystal - posted on 08/16/2009

Quoting Jasmyn:

My son is also 19 months old he is somewhat well tempered until he gets bored. So I suggest when you can tell she is getting frustrated about something before it even leads to her hitting you take her outside get her to run off some of that energy. Play with her and chase her making it all into one big game. Because she is so young discipline does not always work how you would like it too. Try redirecting her attention and getting her to focus on something new and interesting. When they are tired this doesnt always work. I dont know if that is what you are looking for, but I hope it helped!

Hi Jasmyn,your advice is helpful,its just seems alexis is getting fustrated with everything.When i can tell she going to get fustrated and angry i have taken her to do something else wether im playing a different game with her ,kicking the ball running around with the dogs,i guess ive tried alot,but in the same breath i also havnt done all i can think of.Alexis is a very happy toddler,but times do get sometime fustrating  because i dont know what it is she wants,or that nothing i can do helps.these days it seems as if she has more energy then i do, lol. i will keep withyour advice and hopefully after time she'l be happy again.

Crystal - posted on 08/16/2009

Quoting Jennifer:

My son is the same exact way. Smacking his fingers doesn't work, time outs are a joke, thats more work for me. I actually started taking away some of his favorite toys when he hits, that seams to work for now.

Hi Jennifer thank you so much for your advice,i will try taking some of her toys when she hits and see how that goes.I will get back to you on my success.

Crystal - posted on 08/16/2009

Quoting Amy:

my daughter has the same temper! at first i was smacking her hand when she hit me but she didnt care... i found that time out actually works.. but daughter is ALWAYS on the move and having to sit and not be able to get up was really hard for her... and now when she goes to hit me i just ask her "do you want a time out?" and she says "NO!" and walks away... just make sure there is nothing fun around for the time out.. Raegan's temper is gettin much better now that we use the time outs.. hope this helps a little...

Hi Amy thank you so much for the advice.I too used to smack her hand n found that did nothing.When she has gone to hit me or anyone else i do tell her to sit n have some time out,she was usually looks at me until i say it again alot firmer,But i dont want to have to yell to get my points across,i hate yelling at Alexis,it seems thats where my tone gets too because she doesn t listen,how long do u think she should be in timeout,when alexis has sat down after a few seconds she attempts to get back up.My mum said toddlers her age dont really comprehend why she's there after a while.do you have any more advice you could give that may help this?

Jasmyn - posted on 08/16/2009

My son is also 19 months old he is somewhat well tempered until he gets bored. So I suggest when you can tell she is getting frustrated about something before it even leads to her hitting you take her outside get her to run off some of that energy. Play with her and chase her making it all into one big game. Because she is so young discipline does not always work how you would like it too. Try redirecting her attention and getting her to focus on something new and interesting. When they are tired this doesnt always work. I dont know if that is what you are looking for, but I hope it helped!

Jennifer - posted on 08/16/2009

My son is the same exact way. Smacking his fingers doesn't work, time outs are a joke, thats more work for me. I actually started taking away some of his favorite toys when he hits, that seams to work for now.

Amy - posted on 08/16/2009

my daughter has the same temper! at first i was smacking her hand when she hit me but she didnt care... i found that time out actually works.. but daughter is ALWAYS on the move and having to sit and not be able to get up was really hard for her... and now when she goes to hit me i just ask her "do you want a time out?" and she says "NO!" and walks away... just make sure there is nothing fun around for the time out.. Raegan's temper is gettin much better now that we use the time outs.. hope this helps a little...